I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

Thank you so much, very sweet of you. Yes I was hoping to gain a daughter rather than lose my dear son, but I don’t see them much at all. I’m a widow and would love to spend more time with them. Funny how things work out isn’t it. I’m up for adoption tho! 😉 it’s a shame your kids didn’t have grandparents in their lives. I didn’t either and realise how lovely it would have been. Take care and thank you x

There are thousands of Italians in Bedford. 😂 Nobody would bat an eyelid.

Nothing to do with being fashionable! Would you like to be called a name you dislike for the rest of your life?

I am called by my name by nieces, nephews and grandchildren. I don’t want to be aunt or grandmother, I want to be called by my name and no-one has a problem with that… frankly why would they.

Sorry I'd think it a bit odd - my MIL asked to be called Gran-her name but the kids ended up calling her something different. It was a gob ful. 😆

I find it surprising that no one asked you how you want to be referred to. I mean you're one of the people they want to shower love on your child and babysit and be excited for every milestone in their baby's life? It never occurred to me to do anything other than ask the grandparents of my children how they want to be known as.

The entitlement!!!

Heaven forbid a grown woman wants some control over what she is called!

How dare she.

i mean come on doesn’t everyone know you deserve no respect or say once your offspring have children??

I wanted my mum to be nanny, like my nan, but she wanted to be a grandma and it’s her first grandchild, and her name. Of course she chooses.

@whirlingdevonish for my parents, we used the names I'd always used for my own grandparents. For my in laws, we used the names DH had used for his grandparents. My kid mispronounced these words, and her variations are what we use now.

You might want to widen your horizon.

You sound really lovely and I think that you are being very thoughtful with your family. In our case, my son in law’s mother def wanted to be Nana, so I said I would be happy to be called what they preferred, so I became Granny Gardener. Their children in fact sometimes call me by my first name which I’m also very happy with.

I do think that the ‘young couple’ nowadays are sometimes much more independent than a few years ago, and some are even rather insular. Not sure why, perhaps the pandemic or increasing use of social media or … who knows!

Anyway, I’m sure it will all be ok and I’m sorry that one or two people on this thread have been a little sharp with you, which feels a pity. Enjoy your new grandchild, and have a wonderful time with him or her 💕

@HauntedPencil It doesn’t matter to me whether you think it ‘odd’. It is my choice, not yours.

My exMIL and DM both told me what they’d like to be called, we had a conversation about it in case they both wanted to be called the same thing but they didn’t.

Never occurred to me to demand to name someone else! And they both didn’t demand to name my baby so it was all good 😊

Then don't ask for opinions and to see what people think then! Weird.

Oh no, that's upsetting and feel angry on your behalf...😡

@HauntedPencil apologies. I thought you were responding to mine when you said your relative wanted to be called Gran-her name.

You can ask to be called whatever you want. The final decision is the kid's. I had two grandmothers, one Siciliano, like right off the boat, Siciliano. The other was not Italian. My Italian grandmother was LOUD, BIG, DRAMATIC! My non-Italian grandmother spoke softly, was very slender, never made a fuss. They both wanted to be called "Grandma." So I did. One was BIG Grandma and the other was Little Grandma. It got to where all my cousins called her 'Big Grandma.'
My MIL wanted to be called Meemaw, since the other grandkids did. I noped that right out of the ballpark, immediately. My MIL lived about 7 hrs away, so the kids don't get to see her all the time, but we had several older friends who stepped in as surrogate grandparents. To differentiate between these other grandparents, my son called my MIL "Grandma-with-the-boats." She has since sold her pontoon boat and bass boat, but the kids still call her that. So you can ask to becalled whatever. The parents will coach the kid what to call you, (I HIGHLY recommend you don't get into a spitting contest with your kid and their spouse about it) and the kid will call you as they see you: 'Grandma with the loud voice," "Grandma with the nice cat," "Gammer with the fire wall," "Goober with the sleds."
Don't force it. And if you're not Italian, I urge you to skip the Italian nicknames. As a half-Siciliano, I'd find it a bit odd for a non-Guido to ask to be called that. It's like you watched too many mobster movies, where one of the characters were called 'Nonna.'

That is fine, it's not easy to get a kid to say hello Gran-Beryl (for eg) and it was only because she didn't want to sound old by being called gran nan or any other deviation on its own which was a bit odd. And also they wanted step father in law to be also called Gran-his name.

Exactly !

😂😂😂

My parents / ILs chose what they wanted to be called too - we asked them what they wanted, and it didn’t occur to me not to leave it up to them (within reason, of course).

Inevitably these names evolved in the mouths of toddlers anyway and my parents love the new versions as they came from the kids themselves.

I let my mum choose, it’s a name she will have to hear more than me

First world problems 🙄

Your kids will eventually decide what name they use anyway. I referred to my mum as Nanny as that's what I called my own grandmother, but Nana was what eventually stuck. My DH's mum got grandma, but that was more likely because that was the cousins (4+ years older) already referred to her as.

Kick up a stink, over something this inconsequential, and they may end up not referring to you at all

Weird if you're not Italian but strange they are being so controlling about it. My parents and ILs were asked what they wanted to be called by GC. Personally I hate granny, it makes you sound ancient and is very twee sounding but MIL is granny because it was her preference, I couldn't give a shit and I'm not sure why anyone would.

Of course you're entitled to voice your opinion, but the choice, clearly is the parents.

The child itself, will in the future decide how to address you.

Either way it is out of your control.