I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

It is your name so why can you not choose? I don't understand why everyone is getting so het up about it being an Italian word. It is not like the British have not adopted thousands of words from other languages. And equally exported many of our own words.

I asked my parents what they wanted to be! It’s their name and the child isn’t going to care. It seems really weird to me that your son would push this!

Sorry if I missed this but did they ask you or did you tell them? If they didn't ask maybe they would have if you waited and felt it was a bit pushy? Or maybe they just don't like Nonna as much as you don't like Granny? Maybe you can all agree on something.

I'm granny to all mine, never wanted to be anything else. Twenty years ago when my first GC was born granny was generally greeted with horror but I've found it is gaining popularity with younger grandmothers so I'm suddenly in the with "young" crowd where I am.

@bohemianmullet

You do sound a bit weirdly anti-"Granny". Which is quite an innocuous and generally positive term.

The term GRANNY is minging. 🤮 Hell will freeze over before I will ever answer to that!

I’m not Italian but have an Italian relative and asked her and she said of course you can be Nonna and thought the idea that you couldn’t was ridiculous.

People literally make up grand parental names. people borrow children’s names from all sorts of cultures and situations and other random places. It’s ridiculous to veto a name because it’s commonly used in another culture.

I was 42, didn't want to be called granny, sounds like my grandparents. Second youngest dgd, gave me nanny and then a nickname for where I lived. Now 14 she calls me nan.my DH nephews called their DGM by her Christian name, I thought that was disrespectful and wouldn't have that.

Exactly this.

I love Granny Bubblehead!

Our great-granny was Gran-Gran Fluffy Head, so named by one of my cousins.

As far as I'm concerned a grandmother can call herself by whatever name she likes, as long as it clearly differentiates between who is mother and who is grandmother. 'Mama' I wouldn't be keen on, for eg. Otherwise, anything goes. 'Nonna' is barely any different from 'Nana' as far as I can see.

Seems very unfair. I have a few children so i wouldn’t want the first to give me a grandchild, dictating what I get to be called for the rest of my life, by all my grandchildren.

I don’t think Nonna is silly because you’re not Italian. I have French names for some of my children with no French connection, I just liked them. Who says we have to conform? And yes I know it’s slightly different but the point is the same. I think it wouldn’t be acceptable if it was the same name as the parent but it’s not.

This!! No matter how often I’ve tried to get my son to call my mum Nan she’s just Mummy (her name).
it’s better than his great grandad who has been doomed with “great-grandmother grandad”.

Of course you can choose what youbwant to be called. Just pleasantly explain Granny doesnt feel like you. Maybe the other Nonna feels the same?

I called my grandad Eeyore after he took me to see some donkeys when I was about 3… that’s what he became known as (to our side of the family).
My cousins wanted to call my grandma “Gaga” but my aunt wouldn’t let them…

honestly let the children decide!!!

It will be your name so you get to choose. If your son won't let you choose I would start calling him and his wife by new names you've chosen for them, as that seems to be the precedent they are setting.
Your son actually sounds controlling and a bit of an arsehole, if this is how he behaves.

My granny was horrified when my slightly Hyacinth Bucket aunt wanted her to be called nanny, she was granny to the rest of us plebs. Granny indignantly declared, "I'm neither a goat nor a young woman paid a pittance to bring up your children." She remained granny to one and all.

I actually wanted to be called granny because I adored my grannies. I couldn't imagine anything better.

It is funny how strongly people feel about it, I never seem to hear grandfathers worrying about what they are called.

I agree with you. Not sure I like Nonna personality, but yes would have been nice to be asked. I asked my own mum whether she wanted to be called Nan, nanny etc. She would have killed me if I'd suggested Granny though... what about Glamma? My friend is called that because she's, well, glamorous. Maybe you can say 'the baby can call me what he/she likes as long as it's not granny!' In a jokey way. When the baby is older you can simply say, call me nan darling x

I asked the grandparents, YANBU

To be fair she probably did choose her sons name. Maybe he thinks it's his turn?

Don’t worry too much! The child’s pronunciation may impact on what you’re ultimately called!

You may be a Gam-mar or a Gammy! I know a Nanna Wilkinson called Tonks! It’ll work out! Just enjoy your grandchild!

You said you used to be close to your son - maybe that’s the issue; New DIL may be asserting her status as Number 1 female! Maybe try some flattery, reassurance and even brown nosing, if you can stomach it!

Good luck! 💕

But so many other posters are of the same opinion… and you did ask.

It’s your name, stick with it.

My daughter and l decided between us so l'm Nana and the other grandparents are Grandma and Grandpa. I think you should have some say in it as its a name you want to feel fits you!

It is up to you, what you are called. I can’t think of a situation in life where - if someone said to me, politely, “Please don’t call me that,” - I would continue to use the name. I wouldn’t. I was on the wrong end of this when people at work turned my surname into a cute nickname; it was definitely kindly meant but I really didn’t like it, and so I asked them to stop using it, at least when speaking to me directly. And they said, “Sure!” Who would insist on calling another person - to their face - a nickname or title that they knew the person actually disliked?

I agree with other replies that of course when your new grandchild arrives, the child will call you whatever he or she can manage to pronounce when they first start speaking. And that’s adorable. But you are not asking for views on a difference of opinion between you and your grandchild: the difference is between you and your grown son. I think your son is being too controlling in trying to insist on what YOUR name should be. I can’t comprehend replies to the effect that you are being too controlling by saying what YOU would like to be called.

Congratulations on the expected arrival, btw. Happy days.

I agree. Obviously babies and toddlers can't pronounce things straight away but as adults we keep saying the correct word then they usually get it eventually. For example the toddler who says 'piggetty bogognase' will eventually pronounce it spaghetti bolognaise. The only time that wouldn't happen (barring actual speech and language difficulties) is if all the adults started using the toddler version and referring to grandma as 'gampy' or whatever, therefore reinforcing the mistake. Most babies start off saying mama because it's easier to say, but in the UK they usually end up saying mummy or mum because adults around them say it. You totally have some (a lot) control over what children call grandparents.

I asked my mum what she wanted to be called. The people saying you shouldn't are the controlling ones imho.

The baby isn't even here yet, maybe if she'd waited till the baby was born they'd have asked. I think I've always been asked when I met the baby but maybe that isn't the done thing.