I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

It doesn’t matter what you’re called. You hold that precious baby in your arms and names don’t matter. All that matters is the love you have for that babe.

Luckily for me my son and his lovely partner asked me what I would like to be called when they had my grandson. By chance I chose differently to his other grandmother and also differently to my son's step-up who is also a grandmother as far as we are all concerned.

I don't think it is necessarily the parents' choice but if it is the only way to keep the peace and maintain a relationship with them and the child I guess I would have to comply! Have you asked what other grandparents are being called and why in particular they want you to go by Granny (which personally for me is the worst of the choices out there!)

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I loved my Nonno he was the best 🥰

It should be up to you what you are called. It's addressing you after all. Same as other people can't randomly decide to change your normal naming to a nickname if you don't want it.

@Hoardasurass - No you don't get a choice if you want a relationship with your grandchild. It like every other decision about how this child is raised is up to the parents not you

Woah!! This decision doesn't actually affect the CHILD, it affects the adult involved.

I'd say she's entitled to choose what she wants to be called. Why do you think she's not? How bizarre.

You could start suggesting various foreign names for granny until there's one your son likes

How about babushka?

This is exactly what I was going to say.

You can decide all you want, but the child will decide, ultimately!

Certainly in the case of my son, after a big summit between all four grandparents about grandparental titleswhile he was still in utero, and DH and I going along with what each one wanted to be called once he was born, DS, aged two or three, decided to call all four by their first names and has done so ever since.

Of course you do, op. My mum said what she'd like to be known as. Fine with me.

I asked my mum and mil what they wanted to be (nanny and grandma.) Agree with others that if you're Italian you should be able to use nonna.

The grandparents in our family get to choose what they want to be called, mil was granny and fil was papa, my mum was grandma. They all chose what they wanted to be called when the first grandchild was announced.

My parents decided what they wanted to be called, I thought that was normal... Kids drift anyway. My mum was "nanny campervan" for many years!!

You don’t get to choose unfortunately, but I think it is extremely rude of your son not to ask you and follow your wishes.

I mean you won’t win this one. When they talk to their child about visiting you they will just keep saying let’s go to granny’s, off to see granny today. Don’t forget to give granny a hug/wave goodbye. Your birthday / Christmas cards will be granny.

you’d look a right tool then going. Nonna no not granny Nonna.

Will your grandchild have 2 sets of grandparents? If so you could point out it might be a good idea not to have two people called granny.

My children have two grandmas (because they both wanted to be called grandma). They have to say - grey haired grandma/blond grandma or your mum.

It would be so much easier if they had different names. I had a Grandma and a Nana. That worked well.

My son and DIL asked me what I wanted to be called and that’s how it should be . It’s pathetic to say the parents only have the choice of what name grandkids call you! I guess in your case there is not much you can do but I think they are out of order .

Or Nain (prounounced nine) - North Wales Welsh
Or Mamgu (pronounced mamGEE with hard g) - south Wales Welsh)

Granny is used in the royal family - so go with that! I'm grandma, my choice

Nonna sounds pretentious if you're not Italian, or from Stoke it seems!

What’s the issue with Granny?

So funny!

I have a DSD who's 5. I've been in her life for 3 years. When DH and I were about to get married my mum asked how we'd feel about DSD calling them gran and granda so she didn't feel different to my nephews. My DHs parents are both dead and my mum and dad have always treated DSD like their own grandchild.

So now my DSD calls them Granny and Grampa and my nephew has started calling my mum by her first name 🤣

He still calls my dad Grampa but he's named after my dad so maybe feels weird calling him by his first name.

Of course you get to choose, it’s your name! I find it a bit odd that others think otherwise lol.
My kids have a nanny and a mamar because that’s what the grandmothers chose to be called.

Of course you have a choice! I categorically told my daughter I dint want to be called granny, nanny or nana - not in a horrible way, but I just don’t them. My grandkids call me Aggy, which I love!

None of you may have a choice. We all called MIL her choice of name continuously, over the phone, when visiting, when she wasn't there, the works.

DC1 decided to use her first name (still not even sure how he heard it - literally everyone around him used her nickname!), and that was that all subsequent DC followed suit.

If you're Italian, YANBU.

If you randomly picked another language's word for grandmother, YABU - your DC would likely find it embarrassing to explain to others why their child calls you Nonna if you have no connection to Italy.

Probably the best one would be Finnish, Mummo - can you imagine the DIL posting on here...AIBU that I don't want my MIL to be known as Mummo 😂

I think grandparents should get a choice in what they want to be called. I'm sure the grandmother who wants to be called Granny won't still be called 'grangran' when the child has grown up a bit. They will be 'Granny' by then. My mother wanted to be Grandma, we always refer to her as grandma when speaking about her to the children, and that's what my children know her by. If she had wanted to be called Nonna I would have raised an eyebrow because there is no Italian connection, but I may have gone along with it. It's her name, what difference does it make to me?