I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

I think you should be called by the name you choose. Can you bring the topic up again and let them know how much you want to be Nonna and not granny? Maybe if they understand how upset you are by this they'll relent.

Absolutely not up to the parents.
What you would like to be called is up to YOU.

It's just vanity, hardly worth making a fuss about, get over it.

Also Bedford is a stupid example as there is a huge Italian population so nobody would bat a eyelid!

Would you like to be called something you really don’t like for the rest of your life and be remembered as such? Like Mrs Crankylady!

And if you had more children would they call the grandparents different names? I'm not a grandparent, but I'd find it hard keeping track if my different children all decided on different names! I think the I individual grandparents would find it weird too to be addressed as multiple versions of essentially the same thing!

I think you do get a say. My mum wanted to be known as Nonna too... because it's cute and doesn't sound old. My dad is popsie to them. The kids took to it and it stuck. Helps the kids differentiate between the two sets of grandparents too. I'm sorry your son doesn't see it that way.

Why do you need an Italian perspective?

You can surely apply the same thought process yourself?

I'm Irish and wouldn't think anything of someone deciding to use an Irish word for grandmother. I'd probably wonder why only because they're not particularly cute names but maybe someone else would like the sound of them.

@whirlingdevonish

My FIL was called a nickname (not a variation of grandad etc) by his first born grandchild - well, their mum actually.

When my first child was born he asked me if he'd be the same to my child, and I said I'd actually rather grandad, as my own father passed away when I was a child so he would be my children's only grandad, and I'd rather they used a traditional title.

He was very happy with that, and it's never caused confusion between the cousins.

Don't be ridiculous. Children don't choose their parents' names.

Yes, you always have a choice about what you want to be called, just look at all the pronoun gang......

Here's the thing, it doesn't matter what you want or even what the parents want, the grandbaby will decide. My grandfather was called "Hebe" because the first grandchild tried to call him by his actual name, because that's what they heard my grandmother calling him. That mispronunciation of Hillery stuck for 35 years.

Maybe the name will grow on you when you hear it in your grandchild's voice. I have no idea if my grandparents chose what we would call them or not, but both my grandmothers were 'Granny' (plus their surname when necessary to differentiate), and I have such happy associations with that name, now.

My thoughts only but I feel so so happy and grateful to be a nan (of six weeks, to a gorgeous little 4th attempt IVF miracle) that I really REALLY don’t mind at all what I am called - or at this stage, referred to as. I mean I might balk at Nanny Shit Head I guess.. 😂.. but otherwise… 🤍 It seems the parents - and sometimes eventually the grandchild in question - get to decide what grandparents are called which is fine with me.

And I, it transpires, am Nanny Bailey… after the dog! 🤣 I couldn’t be happier

Surely it's the child who will actually decide what they call you? Mil was determined to be grandma. Gc1 couldn't say it so she is now Nana to all 4. She's come to accept it.

Definitely my choice and not my children's or grandchildren's. I would not have agreed to be called granny or grandma. I chose my title, it's my title therefore my right to choose 🤣

..until this doesn’t happen. And then you have a problem. Where there doesn’t really need to be one. Just enjoy the gift of grandkids 🤷‍♀️

What nonsense. Would you be happy to be called whatever someone else decides? It’s beyond me due to not call someone what they would like to be called. I feel sorry for the child have such nasty parents.

My mil wanted to be called Neyna (Welsh) but we settled on Nana & Grandpop. My parents were Nanny & Grandad. They didn’t want to be Granny or Grandma as they were young so we found alternatives they liked!

These are very common names, many have Irish heritage. You would have to be pretty insular to not know how to pronounce them (but easy to check online if so).

We asked our mothers and father what they wanted to be called when our first son was born. The two grandmothers opted for conventional granny and grandma but my DH's dad wanted to be called by his first name. I don't think it's unreasonable of you to want to be called nonna but as you and others have said it's probably best to go with the flow if you're not being given a choice. I hope this won't put a dampener on what is going to be such a lovely time for you.

I do think grandparents should get a choice. My MIL wanted to be called Granny Grimble lol . But obviously the little ones could not say that and kept saying 'Ging' and that was it. Ging was stuck until the girls teenage years (she passed in 2018). My mum, she was always wanted to be mammar (pronounced that way) . She thought granny was like 100 years old so didnt want that name. So mammar stuck and my dad is called Grandwad, not grandad.

When my kids were young they had two nannies which was was very confusing, especially when my mum came to live nearby. I thought my son would avoid the same problem but his kids both have two nannies, separated by using our surnames. How much easier if one had been nanny and the other granny? I didn't really mind what I was called but this is daft!

Just like the Queen ended up being known as Garry at one stage, due to Prince William's difficulty saying Granny

@HelenTherese2 What nonsense. Would you be happy to be called whatever someone else decides? It’s beyond me due to not call someone what they would like to be called. I feel sorry for the child have such nasty parents

Exactly. As I said earlier, no difference to someone saying their name is Sharon and parents instructing kids to call them Louise as they prefer Louise. It’s ridiculous.