Husband wants another baby

[gogogo21]

Husband really wants another child, and I'm in two minds whether to have another.

For context, we have 4 already, youngest has SEN, non verbal, still in nappies and has no basic understanding - DC is 3. He literally needs eyes on him 24/7.

Husband goes to the gym 5-6 days a week, works full time, and is barely home - there is an odd day he will be home for the full day. When he is home, he doesn't bath, change, cook or feed the kids. I raised this with him, and he explicitly said he will pull his weight and make sure he helps when he is home. I love him but I feel he can be very selfish and self centred at times, no regards to how I feel.

I also work full time, but I WHF so the responsibility falls on me. ABIU to not want another child, where I bear the full responsibility of everything - he said he will help 50/50 but I just can't see it happening. I would love to have more but I don't feel I would be able to cope if he doesn't help.

Ultimately it is my decision, I'm just worried about many things.

I'm sorry but if it was me I'd be telling him hell no. He doesn't even sound like he helps with your first 3 so I doubt that will change for a 4th. Please don't let him talk you into something that Is going to make your life 100 times harder

Your body, your choice.
Given your circumstances and your absolutely bloody useless husband there is no way is have another chikd.
He needs to step up and do his share with the children you have and give you some free time.

I'd ask him to prove it first for at least a year, then give it some consideration. If he's away that much and has so little input he clearly has no idea what's involved.

If I were you I'd be quietly going and sorting out some long-term contraception. You have 4 DC already. How the hell many does he want to have?

Don’t do it. You are basically single parenting 4 kids on your own with one needing more care than the rest.

Unless he steps up and parents properly don’t do it

So he does fuck all for the 4 children he's got? He's already shown you the type of husband, father and man he is.

Why are you putting up with this shit?

Hard no.

4 children is a lot for you to be effectively solo parenting, before the additional needs of your youngest are even factored in.

There is no way a 5th child is the right call here, and that’s why you feel the way you do.

Jesus Christ no.

Good grief, absolutely not.

No no no no no no no.

I've said this, he did help feed them before school this morning. I don't really have time on my side, I'm 33 this year and ive said I'm not having anymore past 35.

It sounds like four is already too many given the curve ball that came with your youngest! Who has five kids these days??

He will? When?
What is he waiting for?

When he is home, he doesn't bath, change, cook or feed the kids. I raised this with him, and he explicitly said he will pull his weight and make sure he helps when he is home

If he earms a million and you have full time nannies and housekeepers go right ahead if you want to

Don’t try for another baby just for your husband. If you do decide you want another child you should be 100% sure you yourself want one and could cope with one. You’ve given him 4 children already and are well within your rights to say absolutely not to another.

It would be a MASSIVE no from me.

Honestly, the threads that are believable are getting fewer and fewer. Surely this can't be a serious one?

Why does he want another if he doesn’t do anything g with the ones he’s got?

Fuck that. He does bugger all for the four he's already got. He's having a laugh!

Just in case this is genuine, I would say to him, to pull his weight for at least a year, and you’ll consider it.

What is it about this magical 5th child that will make him step up as a parent?

I'd be asking myself if it's another baby he wants or if it's you further shackled to the kitchen sink.

That would be a HELL NO from me.
As if anythings going to change!

Fuck no. What planet is he on!?? He is lucky you are still with him. Useless sod.

I also agree that this thread, like many others, are clearly made up. Nobody would keep breeding with an arsehole husband like this.

Ask him what are his SPECIFIC reasons for wanting another child?

Honestly this is my mindset, I can't imagine having to be pregnant and carry my 3 year old - who weight 18kg 🥴