Husband wants another baby

[gogogo21]

Husband really wants another child, and I'm in two minds whether to have another.

For context, we have 4 already, youngest has SEN, non verbal, still in nappies and has no basic understanding - DC is 3. He literally needs eyes on him 24/7.

Husband goes to the gym 5-6 days a week, works full time, and is barely home - there is an odd day he will be home for the full day. When he is home, he doesn't bath, change, cook or feed the kids. I raised this with him, and he explicitly said he will pull his weight and make sure he helps when he is home. I love him but I feel he can be very selfish and self centred at times, no regards to how I feel.

I also work full time, but I WHF so the responsibility falls on me. ABIU to not want another child, where I bear the full responsibility of everything - he said he will help 50/50 but I just can't see it happening. I would love to have more but I don't feel I would be able to cope if he doesn't help.

Ultimately it is my decision, I'm just worried about many things.

Goes to the gym 5-6 days a week and also does nothing around the home? I hope he's extremely rich and hot, otherwise this guy sounds like a complete dud. Don't saddle yourself with any more obligation. Honestly, you have too many children with this self-interested dead weight of a man. I guess it sounds too hard to leave him at this point, don't make it any worse.

Hahahaa this would be the easiest no in the world, but I wouldn’t tell him definitively until I’d negotiated 5-6 personal trips out a week for me too, to gym or coffee/wine/ walks. What kind of stupid idiot thinks someone will fall for ‘I’m a useless fucker at home now whose main focus is my personal time at the gym but oh I’ll be different with baby number FIVE’ ??

If he does nothing with the 4 kids he’s got then he doesn’t want another one. It’s just a form of controlling you.

No one needs 5 kids. Terribly selfish. Could you afford to support them all through uni if they all wanted to go? School trips? Family holidays?

Or would you compromise a nice life for the kids you already have so that your husband fulfils some kind of egotistical need to breed?

Given that he’s as much use as a chocolate fireguard, I’d be tempted to crack on and take that risk quite frankly.

Absolutely bonkers that this man has been allowed to produce 4 kids. I can see no reason whatsoever to justify adding a 5th (it clearly has nothing to do with enjoying parenting so he’ll only want a 6th).

I realise this isn’t the point but how are you getting any work done WFH if your youngest needs eyes on 24/7?

@DonnaBanana

what do you think balance looks like in this situation?

OP you already have 4 children and 1 lazy
Manchild !
Dont do it!