Husband wants another baby

[gogogo21]

Husband really wants another child, and I'm in two minds whether to have another.

For context, we have 4 already, youngest has SEN, non verbal, still in nappies and has no basic understanding - DC is 3. He literally needs eyes on him 24/7.

Husband goes to the gym 5-6 days a week, works full time, and is barely home - there is an odd day he will be home for the full day. When he is home, he doesn't bath, change, cook or feed the kids. I raised this with him, and he explicitly said he will pull his weight and make sure he helps when he is home. I love him but I feel he can be very selfish and self centred at times, no regards to how I feel.

I also work full time, but I WHF so the responsibility falls on me. ABIU to not want another child, where I bear the full responsibility of everything - he said he will help 50/50 but I just can't see it happening. I would love to have more but I don't feel I would be able to cope if he doesn't help.

Ultimately it is my decision, I'm just worried about many things.

Not a fucking chance OP. SN doesn't go away and brings extra challenges as they get older

Tell him to prove it. This 50/50 thing. See how long it lasts.

Ffs NO. You’ve got 4 and are raising them basically solo. Please don’t have another with him. He barely parents the 4 he has!

Hell no

What reason does he have for wanting another? Seems completely crazy when you already have 4 & he does fuck all. I’d be telling him to piss off!

Who is this man? Nick Cannon?

Is he worried you'll soon start getting some freedom as the children are all in school? Is this is form of controlling you? Very odd he wants a 5th when he barely spends time with the 4 you already have.

Was thinking the same recently.

HELL NO.

Are you mad? Nobody needs 5 children - particularly when the father is a useless arse!! WTF does he want another one for? What if another child also had SN?

I honestly don't know why you even need to ask the question tbh!!

No. 4 is way more than enough, let alone with a useless husband. You are extremely vulnerable (assuming you don't work). Have you heard of the climate crisis? No.no.no

Sounds like a complete disaster waiting to happen, you'll be left with 5 kids when you're already struggling with 4 while he's off to the gym.

Remind him he already has 4 children that he could spend time with!

If he doesn't help much now when you already have 4 children and are working full time, he's not going to help if there were another baby to care for. Say no because you know he can't be relied upon, unless you're completely happy to increase your life workload that is.

She works FT!!!

It’s a no from me

over 4 children he has shown he is not going to change, and with your last one needing e yea support that he also doesn’t provide why would anyone th8nk he would help with a fifth

Windup, I think.

If he didn't help and be present and involved with your current children then he isn't doing to do it this time around either. I would absolutely not agree.

Why does he want another when he barely does anything with the ones he has? Do you have all girls and he wants a boy, or something similar?
If I were you I would get on the most reliable contraception possible and I’d be having a serious think about why you seem to think it’s acceptable for him to have so little responsibility towards his children. Do you ever get to go to the gym or anything else you’d like to do on your own?

Missed that bit! Assume/hope the kids are in nursery and school? If indeed like others say this is even real

The youngest was supposed to be our last - we agreed but we now know he has SEN. He wants to make sure the little one has a younger sibling to help him through life.

Then in very practical terms,this needs to be about whether YOU want another child and are you prepared to be a single parent of 5 ? Your current youngest will need intense input. You can't bank on your dh being true to his word and beyond income and sex I don't see what he's bringing to the table. So as I say it's whether you want to be a single parent to 5 children who's father spends little to no time with. One morning helping is bugger all.

Aww, is the poor little man scared his woman might decide she can do better without him because she's got a decent wfh job and the youngest will be in nursery soon?

Absolutely not.

He should already be pulling his weight as you have a child with significant care needs......I couldn't look at him with any respect, let alone have a child with the absolute waste of space he's proven himself to be.

Younger siblings shouldn't be lumped with the responsibility of a SEN child, and even if this were ok, your DS has 3 older siblings!

4 children and he hasn't helped? Hell would freeze over before I would consider a 5th. Whilst he gets his gym session 6 days of each week what "me time" do you get exactly? He is lazy and I would worry about his motives for keeping you pregnant to be honest!

That makes no sense at all! How is a younger sibling going to help the older one through life necessarily and the youngest one has older siblings already?

What is going on here?