A relationship hangs in the balance.
I ended up in hospital due to a peptic ulcer. I was in a&e for 19 hours, did it on my own because my partner had work and I said he needed sleep. So I somehow managed to walk there and stayed till I was seen 19 hours later. Which again is fine, the poor staff were doing everything they could with the strikes. Anyway. After I was finally seen and given Iv meds. One of the meds really didn't sit right with me. I got an explanation as to why when the surgeon came in but it was very very scary. I become very unwell and I couldn't see properly. I could see enough to see the little app bubble colours on my phone but I couldn't see the text as my eyes just turned into a blurry mess and I was panicked and scared. After doing this alone for over 20 hours I finally admitted defeat, that I needed a bit of support. So I managed to call my partner. I was crying and scared. He was at work at that moment. He said he would speak with his manager and come. I said no because I didn't want to cause problems but he then said all the right things. He would be there. He would protect me, keep me safe (I've been through a heavily abusive relationship in the past so that last line really got into my heart and I felt like I was finally protected) so I said okay while crying.
NOW I understand work. I understand it gets busy and I understand sometimes you genuinely can't leave. That is fine. However he just went MIA. I heard nothing from him for two hours. He works like ten minutes away. He then sent me a text saying it was super busy and he is hungry. This is after two hours of silence. Didn't check in. Didn't have two seconds to text me a very quick message saying it's too busy and he can't come. I would've accepted that. But no, he was too busy. So me being scared and in agony, just waiting and waiting. Waiting for him to show up like he said. Or atleast let me know he can't. He had portrayed he would keep me safe and I believed him. Anyway it's not the showing up that I'm upset about it's the fact he didn't excuse himself for literally a minute at most to text me to tell me he can't. I ended up getting so scared and freaked out I discharged myself and walked home which was a challenge because I live about 40 mins from the hospital. Arriving home after being awake and in a&e all night or around 24 hours at this point, the flat was a mess. Dirty dishes everywhere. Dirty clothes thrown about. It just frustrated me. I do everything I can while he's working so he doesn't come home to dishes and a mess. Why could he atleast do the dishes? Why couldn't he atleast send me a text saying he couldn't come. Why is everything such a chore?
I really feel like I'm done. Trying to bring this up to him when he got home from work he just said 'I didn't promise I could come'. And was defensive. No understanding or even compassion. Hasn't even asked what actually happened or what my diagnosis was. I just feel really angry. Why am I so angry?