To think this is rude? Dinner table etiquette

[EdinaMonsoon]

Out for dinner & drinks with another couple last night. Immediately they finished their meals, they began stacking their plates and pushing them to the centre of the table, meaning DH & I had their used plates right in front of us. We didn’t say anything but they do it every time we go out to eat and we both find it rude and bad manners. Do people stack plates in a restaurant after eating? I certainly don’t and wouldn’t. And certainly wouldn’t push my used plate in front of someone else’s!

We also always wait until the last person is finished eating before we make any sign to waiting staff that we’re ready for the plates to be cleared whereas they will grab the attention of anyone passing and ask them to clear their plates even though others at the table are still eating. We’re not slow eaters but dinner a meal out should be enjoyed at a relaxed pace, no? AWBU?

You do that @TedMullins . I'd rather to be considered ridiculous for expecting people to behave in a civilised manner than to eat with someone with no manners.

They're stacking plates in a restaurant before you're finished? They're basically telling the restaurant staff that their service is crap when it isn't as the convention is for the staff to wait until you are all finished. Two choices... tell them it is poor form and to stop or just stop having meals with them.

I wouldn't do it myself but I am entirely comfortable with this kind of thing.

They're really not.

At worst it's a slightly misguided attempt to help the waiters.

What is uncivilised about stacking plates though? Does it affect you? No. Does it affect your food? No. Does it affect the waiting staff? Only in as much as it makes it easier for them to pick up. I honestly can’t fathom even noticing let alone being affronted or annoyed about this.

I would hate that. I’m British and waitresses here in the uk and would never stack or clear before the last person was finished.
but I believe in the US waiting staff are expected to take each plate as it’s finished with.

Where did you hear that?

Er in the US where that is the norm perhaps? Not sure why you are making out that it isn't true?

It doesn't make it easier for waiting staff, it might be well intentioned but it's annoying as multiple posts from waiting staff in this thread have mentioned.

@TedMullins , it would affect me. The stacked plate in front of me would be a non-verbal 'Hurry up!', so is rude, and would put me off my food. It would be gross to have to look at the remains of two meals scraped on a plate.

I have worked as waiting staff, and as others have said, waiting staff have their own way of stacking plates, and it's not done until all at the table have finished the course.

Service rules in the US are different. They tend to clear as they see plates empty, drives me mad. It makes me feel rushed, but that’s actually the intention. They work for tips so they want to turn tables as quickly as possible.

Eating out in the US is rarely the all evening thing it is in the UK. You wouldn’t order another few drinks and sit there for two or three hours.

It is certainly poor etiquette. Like starting your meal before everyone on the table have theirs (unless the person’s whose hasn’t arrived tells you to start if you want to). I just think some people are brought up differently or evolve these sort of poor table manners. And I’m not sure there is anything you can do other than keep doing what you think is right.

Dirty plates stuck right in front of uopu whilst you eat is definitely off putting for some so can affect people!

I've experienced that, and just put them back in front of the people, or one of them if they are stacked.

And when asked told them i don't want their dirty plates crowding me.

"please don't do that, it is crowding into me/putting me off my food/rude"??