To think this is rude? Dinner table etiquette

[EdinaMonsoon]

Out for dinner & drinks with another couple last night. Immediately they finished their meals, they began stacking their plates and pushing them to the centre of the table, meaning DH & I had their used plates right in front of us. We didn’t say anything but they do it every time we go out to eat and we both find it rude and bad manners. Do people stack plates in a restaurant after eating? I certainly don’t and wouldn’t. And certainly wouldn’t push my used plate in front of someone else’s!

We also always wait until the last person is finished eating before we make any sign to waiting staff that we’re ready for the plates to be cleared whereas they will grab the attention of anyone passing and ask them to clear their plates even though others at the table are still eating. We’re not slow eaters but dinner a meal out should be enjoyed at a relaxed pace, no? AWBU?

They were clearly raised by barbarians, OP, and I'd have been as horrified as you. When you finish your meal, at home or in a restaurant, you finished your meal, you arrange your knife and fork together slightly off centre on the plate to make it clear you've finished and you wait until everyone at the table has finished, at which point you let the waiting staff remove them all or you indicate to a member of staff that you are now ready to have the table cleared. That's what civilised people do.

Please don't stack. Just leave them and let the waiting staff do it however they want. They will have their own preferred way that they find most efficient and it will definitely not be the way that you stack them.

Stacking plates after eating in a restaurant 😂😂
God this website opens my eyes to... err... 'different' sorts of people out there I'm very unlikely to ever cross paths with.

Who even knew this was a thing ffs 😆

I would hate that. It would really put me off my food. I am quite a fast eater and usually finish first but I just place my cutlery on my plate which stays in front of me. Certainly don't go pushing it away from me and towards others.

Adding to the chorus of push it back!

I’m not in the least rude actually. I was very well brought up.

Not at all. You couldn’t be more wrong about me if you tried

That is a bit odd. If I liked their company I'd just let it go. It's a tricky one to approach without it seeming like you've been seething about it all this time.

I alwsys tidy the plates after eating when out, just me i guess

Ooh yuk, no! I'd not be happy with that, not least if I hadn't finished eating.

Bad table manners really give me the ick.

@Goodlard that's quite a reach. Some big assumptions there. Nothing about the post gave me that impression. It's just that OP doesn't like the dirty plates pushed close to theirs while they are eating.

We also always wait until the last person is finished eating before we make any sign to waiting staff that we’re ready for the plates to be cleared whereas they will grab the attention of anyone passing and ask them to clear their plates even though others at the table are still eating. We’re not slow eaters but dinner a meal out should be enjoyed at a relaxed pace, no? AWBU?

Actually I would find this more irritating than the plate stacking.

I am quite a slow eater. Not abnormally so, and not because I faff about or talk a lot instead of eating or anything like that. I am simply not able to gobble food down quickly, I never have been able to do that.

If you are the last person left eating it can sometimes feel embarrassing and if people start trying to clear the plates around you while you are still eating then it just seems to draw attention to you and put the pressure on you to get finished. In that situation I am likely to just stop eating and leave the rest.

I'm with you @5foot5 . I dislike being hurried or asked if I dislike the food because I seem to be picking at it.

I responded to the extremely judgemental poster who said you can expect that in. Harvester, like less wealthy people are deemed to be bad mannered!
I like Harvesers.

I sometimes stack plates but so they're not in front of me, no so they are. I would push dirty plates in front of someone that was eating but I might push 2 to the side. Without seeing the table and seating it's hard to gauge if it's too close. It's the proximity not the stacking I'd have issue with. I'd think the same about someone else's handbag for example or their coat on my chair.

It’s poor and shows they don’t have a grasp of etiquette.

"Sigh" I was t responding to OP! It's bad manners not to read posts properly!

Me too.

My manners are the same in both places

In all types of restaurants?

I like their red salad dressing...

That's unpleasant

MIL has form and usually I ignore it

But at posh wedding last month, I snapped at her to stop it. Because as soon as anyone finished, she was reaching over for their plate, scraping and stacking. It was uncomfortable

I think it's extremely rude, but many people today have no concept of appropriate table manners.

Good you said something. That is really, really rude.

Just ask them not to, @EdinaMonsoon .

To me that is rude. We were always taught if you finished before others you put ur knife and fork together and sat quietly waiting no elbows on the table lol. If it was a very long family meal when we were little we were allowed to ask please may I get downmy parents were quite formal. Still are

This happened to me at a shared table on holiday. I told the rude people to take their plates back. Why put up with it?