To think this is rude? Dinner table etiquette

[EdinaMonsoon]

Out for dinner & drinks with another couple last night. Immediately they finished their meals, they began stacking their plates and pushing them to the centre of the table, meaning DH & I had their used plates right in front of us. We didn’t say anything but they do it every time we go out to eat and we both find it rude and bad manners. Do people stack plates in a restaurant after eating? I certainly don’t and wouldn’t. And certainly wouldn’t push my used plate in front of someone else’s!

We also always wait until the last person is finished eating before we make any sign to waiting staff that we’re ready for the plates to be cleared whereas they will grab the attention of anyone passing and ask them to clear their plates even though others at the table are still eating. We’re not slow eaters but dinner a meal out should be enjoyed at a relaxed pace, no? AWBU?

From the v brief time I waited on...

Don't stack, please for the love of god don't stack. I don't want to have to split the 10 high stack you've built, because you think I am fucking superwoman, and then have to hold a plate with a dirty bottom.

If you want to be helpful - plates to the end of the table nearest the aisle/walkway. Rubbish all on one plate. But leave the wait staff to stack!

Pushing dirty plates in front of other diners is rude as fuck and I'd push it straight back! For some reason food smears and chewed bones and whatnot on plates makes me gip and I'd like to finish my meal, not gip over the remains of yours!

Op hasn't indicated that they're from different cultures?

Which varies from place to place, generation to generation, and culture to culture, and individual to individual.

In what culture do you push your dirty plate in front of someone else?

In what culture do you sit there with nothing in front of you whilst others are still eating?

This.
Urgh I hate it when people stack the plates in front of me/plates are cleared before everyone is finished. However I gather that in the US people think the service is slow/poor if they have to sit with their own empty plate in front of them for any time, even if their companions are still eating.

I don't even like it when someone I'm eating with stacks all the dishes when everyone's done "to make it easier for the waiter". One of the nice things about eating out is not to have to scrape plates or watch them be scraped, and I don't need a pervious leaning tower of dirty plates and crockery on the table.

Perilous! Gosh. I've got quite grumpy about it

There's a saying: "do you stack at table, or are you gentry?"
Ie if you stack, it's common

Clearly this is what thing is the ‘right’ thing to do. You don’t. It’s not rude, you just have different norms.
you have 3 options as I see it

1. don’t eat with them again if this bothers you enough
2. not mention it and continue to silently seethe
3. talk to your friends and see if you can all come to a consensus.

I didn't say it was? Could you point out the post where I did?

I responded to the extremely judgemental poster who said you can expect that in. Harvester, like less wealthy people are deemed to be bad mannered! She struck me as the sort of diner that is rude, based on her comments here.

I'm a stacker...

But I'd never do it whilst someone else is still eating, I'd put them away at the end of the table away from anyone else, I only do it if the dishes haven't been collected for a while.

I just don't like having a dirty plate in front of me. But then, I'd never put it in front of someone else.

I'd push them back if I were you.

Stacking plates indicates to me that they are keen to rush things along.

I would politely ask them beforehand if they could avoid doing it until everyone had finished. If they refused, I would call time on our having meals out together.

@BlazingJune I've also eaten at the savoy and harvester 🤷‍♀️

I cannot fucking abide bad table manners, eating with mouths open or leaving the table before everyone has finished are very bad but stacking the plates! I'd have had to say something. Rude ignorant dragged up by wolves cunts. Don't ever dine out with them again.

Exactly.

yes, why do you keep having dinner with them @EdinaMonsoon ?

Is this tongue in cheek?

I mean honestly

You sound delightfully judgemental.
I'd rather eat with a plate-stacker than you.

Haven’t rtft but fascinated as to who the 10% are who think YBU.

I wouldn’t go out for dinner with them again.

I reckon @threecupsofteaminimum is deffo one of them!

@Qwerty556 thank fuck for that, basic manners cost nothing.

Please post again! You're funny!

I know

@Qwerty556 , even if they were working class?

Stacking plates in a restaurant if you don’t work there is really weird, I’ve never eaten with anyone who did that. Why would you do that? Is it some kind of performance helping? Like you can’t bear not to be “mother”?

Not rtft so sorry if it's already been said but I stack plates almost immediately because I have young kids and there's less chance of them knocking something over/grabbing a knife/sticking their elbow in sauce etc. But I don't do it at fancy places (nor do I take my kids there 😂)

Yes(if they've managed to find the soap before hand)