AIBU to ask if what I said was horribly offensive?

[Plantain1234]

Me and DD went for breakfast at a restaurant over the weekend. After I ordered Plantain to go with my breakfast, DD told me that her friend (who is mixed heritage) also loves plantain. For a bit of background, DD's friend's Mum was born in the UK to parents who came from the Caribbean in the 1950s.

I asked DD if her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum's family. I was just meaning that as Plantain is so widely eaten in the Caribbean, that they might have had family recipes passed down through the generations. I feel that plantain is not widely eaten in UK and is not appreciated as much as it could be.

DD looked horrified when I asked the question about whether her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum. Is what I said racist? I wasn't thinking it was when I said it, but would be grateful for opinions, so I can avoid being unintentionally offensive in future.

What do you mean she looked horrified ?

I’m West Indian.

If I were that child’s parents and overhead you, I wouldn’t think it was remotely racist.

You would have to be pretty thick, or one of the Pernanently Offended to deduce that you meant liking plantain was an inheritable trait. Pretty obvious it was a reference to potential culture at home.

Try not to worry. DD is possibly hyper aware of not being racist.

How old is your daughter? If she is still in education, part of the Lefty curriculum is to brainwash pupils/students to take offence at everything.

What you said was perfectly normal.

God how exhausting sympathy also have a mini puritan the most benign comment can be met with raised eye brows …

Not racist at all. Your DD is being extra.

@Whattodo112222 Excellent use of the word “extra”

Agree jewel. I used a term for a type of meatball I had as a child and was met by a fit of the vapours. Op is much nicer than me I have no truck with it.

The professionally offended are usually offended on someone else's behalf. The person they're offended for usually isn't offended in the slightest.
OP the only person I know who eats these on a regular basis is from the Caribbean.
There is nothing wrong with what you said.

Not racist at all, how ridiculous!

Also now I really want plantain 🤤

This is ridiculous.

Your DD has a lot to learn. You’ve not said anything racist.

Boiled or fried 🍌

Solidarity for others navigating life with a ‘permanently offended and triggered on behalf of others’ offspring. Perhaps we should start a support group….

Of course it's not racist. Your daughter sounds tiresome. Young people (and many older people in fact) don't seem to know what racism is anymore.

Not racist in the slightest. Some young people are permanently offended these days.

This.

I had plantain and chicken with my mate at a Jamaican restaurant on the weekend. He would not be remotely offended by this. He's joked before that white women get more offended than most black people.

As a secondary school teacher and subject leader, that's news to me.. Can you provide some schemes of work that support this point as it sounds fascinating.

What a, silly comment.
.

If you were referring to faggots, that's what they are called - they are a specific type of meatballs. I don't think what the OP said is remotely racist any more than what TheaBrandt said.

Not remotely. I have a daughter like this. I was recently accused of transphobia because I am struggling with somebody I've known all my life becoming a "she" and remembering not to say "he". Daughter said I was offensive. I'm afraid she got short shrift. I think that this generation are permanently offended.

Absolutely not.

You absolutely have my sympathy if this the regular level of discourse from your daughter.🙄

You sound very open-minded. 😳

My DC are in education and would not think this is remotely racist because they know which continents plantain is mostly linked to.

OP, did you ask your DD why she was horrified?

The question can certainly be offensive in some context so i probably under her being over cautions. For eg if someone asks her friend if she likes bland food because of her dad, that wouldn’t be fantastic. Or is someone from a certain culture is asked if they est dog, monkey,

👏👏👏👏

If your daughter is primary age - she's probably genuinely misunderstood.
If she's a teen - then they just enjoy the drama/being woke.
If she's an adult - she's one of those people, unfortunately.

I think its probably the assumption that someone with a specific heritage would eat food stereotypical of their family origin. I'm not, obviously, saying you have said anything offensive or wrong, I'm just wondering that was the line of reasoning that led her to be defensive of her friend. E.g. if someone assumed I ate curry every day because I am Indian I would find it a bit of a simple comment but not "racist". However if someone asked whether I liked.... insert Indian food item I would see that as a curious and harmless question.

I'm a secondary school teacher too (though not a subject leader, golly!) and I feel @Jewelspun 's comment deeply.

I'm sure every teacher knows an assistant head who is constantly sending colleagues lists of so-called "microaggressions" to avoid. Giving assemblies and speeches with pointedly awkward turns of phrase to avoid anything "problematic". If you don't know what I mean, you're that assistant head.