AIBU to ask if what I said was horribly offensive?

[Plantain1234]

Me and DD went for breakfast at a restaurant over the weekend. After I ordered Plantain to go with my breakfast, DD told me that her friend (who is mixed heritage) also loves plantain. For a bit of background, DD's friend's Mum was born in the UK to parents who came from the Caribbean in the 1950s.

I asked DD if her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum's family. I was just meaning that as Plantain is so widely eaten in the Caribbean, that they might have had family recipes passed down through the generations. I feel that plantain is not widely eaten in UK and is not appreciated as much as it could be.

DD looked horrified when I asked the question about whether her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum. Is what I said racist? I wasn't thinking it was when I said it, but would be grateful for opinions, so I can avoid being unintentionally offensive in future.

Definitely going to try this chicken recipe. Thanks for sharing!

"How old is your daughter? If she is still in education, part of the Lefty curriculum is to brainwash pupils/students to take offence at everything."
This really is bollocks. And so, I suspect is the thread.

@Plantain1234 "Thanks everyone for reassuring me that I have not been horribly offensive. To those who asked, DD is 20. She didn't really explain why she thought my comment was so out of order."

So why didn't you ask her?

I think your only mistake was not making her spell out exactly what you’d said which was offensive and why. I think realising that her comment was utterly baseless as she tried to scrape a response together would be a teachable moment for not making such spurious comments.
Im so glad I missed out on being a member of the permanently offended brigade.

That won't work @CurlewKate . It might if it was anyone else. A bit like learning to drive. Anyone can explain it better than another family member.

Your dd is extra. HTH.

Agree with this.

Your daughter needs to get out of her Gen Z TikTok echo chamber.

My mixed race dd loves spicy food. Everyone assumes that this is because of her connection to her dad's culture, which is famous for its spicy cuisine. She isn't remotely offended by this.

Funnily enough, her dad can't actually cope with spicy food and I'm the one who likes it. But we still eat the cuisine of his country because of our family connection to that culture, so people wouldn't exactly be wrong in making that assumption.

I still make ham and pease pudding, pea soup and stovies because it is what my Mam did and her Mam did, and neither of us lived in Geordieland, but it is our culture and it is passed on through the generations.

Was your DD even offended? All you’ve said is she had a horrified look, not that she actually said you comment was racist

Her horrified look was clear enough. I responded by explaining why I said what I said about the plantain potentially being introduced by DD's friend's Mum. DD didn't say anything back but continued to look shocked. I think that we quickly moved to a safer topic.
It has been at the back of my mind since as to whether what I said was that bad.
When I was at uni (30 years ago) I lived with Social Work students. I became very conscious of not putting my foot in it then as they were ultra PC. I don't make a habit of being offensive, but it is easy to say the wrong thing with the most harmless of intentions.

But I am!

I'm not West Indian either but I enjoy plantain and many other Caribbean recipes. I don't think cultural appropriation is about enjoying good from another culture.

Utter twaddle.
The curriculum was rewritten by Gove and has been added to since by Tories. In what way is it lefty?
I’m a teacher. My aim is the opposite of brainwashing. Education exposes people to a variety of viewpoints and makes offence less likely to be taken.
Where on earth do you get your misinformed ideas from?

Never been higher than HoD. Never experienced anything like this, no.

Prairie oysters spring to mind.

My late OH loved faggots, I couldn't stand the sight of them!

Don't be ridiculous.
Lefty curriculum ffs.

Ditto Tunnock's caramel wafers eaten by non-Scots? Will Yorkshire puddings get a protected designation of origin, or whatever?
Life is becoming so bland.

No she didn’t. Don’t be silly.
Of course you can say vinegar. If your daughter said anything like that she’s misunderstood - and I’m betting you know very well she has.
I don’t believe anyone thinks you ‘can’t say’ vinegar.

Where are young white people taught they are ‘irredeemably evil’ please?
Honestly, the bullshit being spouted in this thread…

Do people actually believe this?

Again, utter bollocks.
If your child says this, you simply clear up the misunderstanding and move on, not throw your hands up in horror.
I seriously doubt any child said it though. They have curry for school dinner.

So firstly not in the least racist but secondly and more importantly this post has definitely got me craving fried plantain which at 10.30 at night is just not going to happen.

DD of a friend once objected to their parents serving curry as it was cultural appropriation ( I don't think she liked curry much). Friend said fine in which case that also rules out pizza ice cream, their DD soon backtracked.

Nope you are wrong. It was said and actually we had quite a good discussion about it. It is because the term was coined by English/Portuguse colonialists to describe Indian food. My ds has a South Indian friend who told him that the correct term for the dish should be used not a generalised colonial term. I didn't throw my hands up in horror I was educated on the matter. I just find it exhausting. I did argue that using "racist" was too strong a term and my dc did concede that point. But now I know that there are people who find it offensive I can change my terminology just like I educated my parents not to use the term "coloured" to describe black people.