AIBU to ask if what I said was horribly offensive?

[Plantain1234]

Me and DD went for breakfast at a restaurant over the weekend. After I ordered Plantain to go with my breakfast, DD told me that her friend (who is mixed heritage) also loves plantain. For a bit of background, DD's friend's Mum was born in the UK to parents who came from the Caribbean in the 1950s.

I asked DD if her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum's family. I was just meaning that as Plantain is so widely eaten in the Caribbean, that they might have had family recipes passed down through the generations. I feel that plantain is not widely eaten in UK and is not appreciated as much as it could be.

DD looked horrified when I asked the question about whether her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum. Is what I said racist? I wasn't thinking it was when I said it, but would be grateful for opinions, so I can avoid being unintentionally offensive in future.

Except the word curry is fine if that’s what you are making. Very little of what we make in this country fits what your child was saying. Meera Sodha has curry recipes 8n her books. So does Nadiya Hussein. And lots of other cooks from other ethnicities. Yes, sometimes it’s particular type of dish, such as dal, that you wouldn’t use the word curry for.
And actually, if you had said what you’ve said in your reply to start with I’d have agreed with you. What you said is it’s exhausting that you aren’t allowed to say curry because it’s racist. That’s utter nonsense. As you know, because you’ve been able to explain what actually happened. So why the ‘permanently offended at being banned for saying stuff’ nonsense?

Not permanently offended just posted on a thread about horrifying our dcs.

I know not all people from SE Asian are offended by the term curry, but I now know some are. Cookbooks marketed to a western audience will use terms that are in use in the west.

Here is a quote by Anita Kummar that give a little insight to how it makes her feel.
"Because, again, “curry” is not a term that most Indians use to describe our food; it is an invention of white people. If we call our foods “curry,” it is to make things easier for the mainstream. I may not remember the names and faces of the white bullies who tormented me as a child anymore, but I do remember the sting of their words. Perhaps that is why when I hear about curry and Indian food being spoken about in such ignorant terms, I feel rage."

Gotta hand it to the Uni-kids nowadays if all they have to do is "look horrified", whilst at a restaurant, to tie their parents up in knots.

Not so long ago parents might get a tad concerned if the banner-waving, demos, the dean called, etc was a regular event.

Quite like a bit of cilantro myself although some might call it coriander but really not keen on yams and sweet potatoes or whatevs they're called by whoevs. Apparently the Nottinham Student Union have voted that the campus should be vegan.

You'd think there might be a few global conflicts and injustice for the students to be horrified about rather than the cultural divisiveness of describing plantain or decreeing that all should eat plant-based food products.

@cardibach you might think it's ludicrous and not happening that white kids are being taught they are 'irredeemably evil', but unfortunately, there's a lot of stuff coming from black Americans on Tiktok and the like that is doing exactly that. It's really and truly quite upsetting to watch - there's a certain cohort (and I say this because I've literally only seen Americans say it) that hold white people responsible for all the ills that happen in the world.

I'm not saying that's true, but I'm not an impressionable teenager. There are plenty of black creators from many countries that refute this by the way, but unfortunately once the algorithm is attuned to you then you might not see them. Or you might see them, and then read the comments which can be horrible.

On one (what I thought) completely innocuous Tiktok, I personally admitted defeat and said if they think I'm racist for not liking chicken and waffles, then I guess I'm racist. I don't think I am, but there are those out there that believe it.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy
I agree.
I'm Irish and the other day an Irish politician said that even when we were being oppressed we still maintained our invisibility cloak of white privilege 🤔🙄
Such an insult to our history and it's being said by white politicians obsessed with self-flagellation to try to be PC.

My late OH loved faggots, I couldn't stand the sight of them!

Reported for homophobia. 😠

But wasn't pp talking about the meatballs?

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/faggots-onion-gravy

Sweet Jesus! Can you possibly be serious?

To be honest I took the comment about my dislike of faggots to be funny, looking at the emoji ! In the UK, where we are, it means odious grotty meatballs or bundles of twigs!

It's really odd. I've been around people who have been told it's racist to ask an Indian person a question about curry or an Afro-Caribbean person about Plantain/jerk chicken/Jellof rice. Yet, there's never any issue if they ask a Spanish person about Tapas or an Italian about pasta! Never understood that!

It comes from the Tamil word kari

I work a lot from India and the halarious thing is people there will refer to the source part of a 'Curry' as 'Gravy'! Thew me off the first time I ordered dinner, half expected mutton swimming in Bisto!

Of course not. 😂 The thread is about people taking offence at innocuous comments.