AIBU to ask if what I said was horribly offensive?

[Plantain1234]

Me and DD went for breakfast at a restaurant over the weekend. After I ordered Plantain to go with my breakfast, DD told me that her friend (who is mixed heritage) also loves plantain. For a bit of background, DD's friend's Mum was born in the UK to parents who came from the Caribbean in the 1950s.

I asked DD if her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum's family. I was just meaning that as Plantain is so widely eaten in the Caribbean, that they might have had family recipes passed down through the generations. I feel that plantain is not widely eaten in UK and is not appreciated as much as it could be.

DD looked horrified when I asked the question about whether her friend's liking of plantain came from his Mum. Is what I said racist? I wasn't thinking it was when I said it, but would be grateful for opinions, so I can avoid being unintentionally offensive in future.

Some White British people on MN either really don't get racism, do they? Or they're teying very hard to be obtuse purposefully. Analogies with fish and chips are Not the same!!!

Please share so I can stop trying to work it out! 😆

I made a comment that I thought it ridiculous Dylan Mulvaney was modelling the Nike sports bra (being pre-op trans and having no curves) and my DD22 called me all sorts of names.

It must be absolutely exhausting. I couldn't do it.

Not offensive.....tell dd to stop being a knob.

Fwiw I tried plantain for the first time this year and I'm 42, only had that opportunity because an African food shop has opened that sells all sorts of delights.

Tbf, the whole 'microaggressions' thing is very much a lefty/progressive sphere kind of thing. Like, you'll never hear a gun toting Trump supporter whining about microaggressions. 😂

(Not that I like Trump but I feel the above is true).

I'm guessing it is because it is an assumption based on a stereotype. I'd say it was your use of "from his mum" that annoyed your daughter.

If an Italian likes pasta, it is because he likes pasta. Not because he's Italian.
If an Irish person likes potatoes, it is because she likes potatoes. Not because she's Irish.
If a black boy likes plantains, it is because he likes plantains. Not because his mum is from the Caribbean.

A lot of teens like to sit on their high horses and look down at us uneducated idiots below them.. they think they know it all.. they have a lot to learn.

I'm guessing it's a reference to faggots, a type of meatball made with offal.

It'll all swing around again by the time the next lot of humans grow up

I wouldnt think you were racist no. Plantain is great . If this was also said about other foods from other countries, I dont think it would be racist either. In fact where ever the dish made/food originated/ or food being used id be pretty proud of it, certainly not offended.

How on earth could this be construed as racist or offensive?

Exactly 🤣🤣 OP you have got to be joking?!

Not racist at all, I have to say younger people and all their ‘woke’ nonsense is excruciatingly annoying, how are they going to be tolerated when they go into the workplace, I have to mentor junior staff occasionally at work and I would have no time or patience to put up with this rubbish…..they think they know everything (they don’t at all) are over confident and wickedly irritating

On TV shows like Masterchef they often have chefs talking about the dishes they're cooking inspired by their heritage, and it's clear they're happy and proud to talk about their cultural and family influences. It's certainly the case in my family (half of which is Asian).

So it could be argued you're being more inclusive and culturally aware than your DD.

Rubbish! People like what they've been brought up on. I like jellied eels because i'm a cockney and it was given to me alot. People eat the food they are accustomed to at a young age.

No, of course you weren’t being offensive. God knows how these kids are going to get on in the real world.

all this taking offense at everything on someone else’s behalf is going to have a backlash at some point. People aren’t going to put up with being scolded forever, and it’s going to be the people on whose behalf the offense has been taken that will suffer, the lesbians and gays, the people of color, disabled people. It’s not going to be pretty and I’m not looking forward to it. These poe-faced self-righteous little shits need to wind their necks in and get a life, because somebody is going to pay for their virtue signaling frenzy, and it probably won’t be them.

I remember my 16 year old boy being moody all day and then blurting out "I have been wondering why JK Rowling has got me so mad and it is because her comments against trans people are just like homophobic comments in the past". Paraphrasing but words to that effect - it was a while ago. I (calmly) said she has lived as a woman from birth for 50 years and that will give her a different perspective on trans issues to him. And that perhaps he should be more concerned about the fact there are people that live in his own town that from birth have got about 10% the chance of finishing school with 5 GSCEs than he has by virtue of their parents' income. Finally, that he should be aware that by the time he is 50 I can guarantee that 16 year olds will be looking at the views he has as illiberal and bigoted or cruel and selfish.

I suspect we were all a bit dismissive of our parents views when we were younger (I know my dad was really homophobic and casually racist and I would roll my eyes). They do seem to be a bit more in your face about it now though and I think history will not judge well some of the fights they have decided to engage with and the solutions that they want to impose. I could be wrong, but it will be their mess to sort out and I will be too dead to tell them I told you so.

It’s definitely not a racist question, but it is a silly one. Would you ask a half Swedish person if their love of IKEA meatballs stems from their father’s side?

Never heard of plantain.. just googled it!

Some people missing the point that plantain is an unusual food item that's not very common in the UK (it really isn't before someone says they can get it in their urban supermarket and eat it 3 times a week) so OPs comment about the friend's familiarity with it is valid.

By the way what does it taste like?! What's the cooked texture like? I've always wanted to try it.

My daughter was worried about her very curly, dark hair, and whether people would think it was a cultural appropriation.

I had to explain that her hair was growing out of her head, and she didn't need to worry about it. She has high functioning ASD, and was very concerned.

.

Exactly, @Clingfilm. I’ve only ever come across plantain in West Africa - never cooked or been served it in the UK, or seen it on a menu. So to my mind the only thing wrong with the OP’s comment is that is was too blindingly obvious to be worthy of mention that the friend’s taste for it would have come from his mum’s family heritage.

Can it be a side spring? Gid daughter is getting in fucking believable!! She might not see 20!

You know very well it is not racist nice try though