Page 11 | Who should have got up?

Autieangel · 2023-11-23T07:14:42+00:00

Dh and I went to bed around 945 last night. I couldn't sleep and at about 1030 I heard a loud bang in the house. Like a crashing noise. We have 4 year old ds in his bedroom and a dog downstairs. I woke dh who said it was probably nothing. I thought one of us should check in case it was to do with our son. Dh refused so I checked the house alone and concluded our son had put toys on his bed and must have kicked some off. I was annoyed that dh left it to me and essentially went back to sleep while I walked round the house alone. Who's unreasonable here?

Paular29 · 25/11/2023 19:42

It could have been an intruder so IMO he should have got up and checked either with OP or without, she could have been raped or murdered while he slept, not very gentlemanly. I'm 56 though so maybe a fashioned ashioned 🤣

Jordy223451 · 26/11/2023 10:39

Error post

Jordy223451 · 26/11/2023 10:41

What you are saying is contradictory. You cannot be a feminist and think you need a man to protect you. What you are saying is your more important that your husband's as your life is more valuable.

Isthisexpected · 26/11/2023 13:36

You cannot be a feminist and think you need a man to protect you

^ really? Feminism, to me, means wanting equality. Our bodies are not equally capable of fighting off a male assailant.

Jordy223451 · 26/11/2023 16:51

Isthisexpected · 26/11/2023 13:36

You cannot be a feminist and think you need a man to protect you

^ really? Feminism, to me, means wanting equality. Our bodies are not equally capable of fighting off a male assailant.

Yep, you think women need protected by men. Equality means not treating one gender differently than the other. The actual audacity that you think a man should be the one to risk his life whilst you do is exactly what toxic femininity is.

DonnaBanana · 27/11/2023 00:28

I honestly don’t see how anyone no matter how feminist isn’t attracted to their man because they think he might stand up for them one day. Surely this is the whole point of being with men otherwise why bother if they’re not going to be strong for you. This is why Phil Mitchell gets all the interest in Eastenders

AndWordsWhen · 27/11/2023 00:41

If I thought there was an intruder, I'd wake DH up and we'd tackle it together. No way would I walk downstairs on my own. Or expect him to.

Jordy223451 · 27/11/2023 01:30

.

Jordy223451 · 27/11/2023 01:31

AndWordsWhen · 27/11/2023 00:41

If I thought there was an intruder, I'd wake DH up and we'd tackle it together. No way would I walk downstairs on my own. Or expect him to.

...

Jordy223451 · 27/11/2023 01:32

DonnaBanana · 27/11/2023 00:28

I honestly don’t see how anyone no matter how feminist isn’t attracted to their man because they think he might stand up for them one day. Surely this is the whole point of being with men otherwise why bother if they’re not going to be strong for you. This is why Phil Mitchell gets all the interest in Eastenders

Just goes to show how little you think of your man. He's nothing more than a stab vest for you!

BlueEyedPeanut · 27/11/2023 01:40

I don't know who you are married to @DonnaBanana, but my DH is more valuable alive than dead. I quite like him alive too.

catscalledbeanz · 27/11/2023 01:58

I thought I was a feminist apparently not. Because without a shadow of a doubt I'd wake dh. And he'd go to check it out. A few reasons for that- he's a man- so physically stronger, taller, more intimidating to intruders, and less likely to arouse further illegal intent of a brutal thug (who is far FAR more likely to be a man if there is one, and as a man dh won't be raped and battered by said thug)
I'm still a feminist. But also a realist, and the few times in 19 years I've woken dh afraid, he's always just trusted me, and never belittled nor ignored my concerns. He sees my concerns as worthy of consideration and action. He'd never shrug off my fear as silly and he'd never roll over dismissively. Sorry op

DonnaBanana · 27/11/2023 11:07

BlueEyedPeanut · 27/11/2023 01:40

I don't know who you are married to @DonnaBanana, but my DH is more valuable alive than dead. I quite like him alive too.

Fact is, my man will get out of bed and make sure the family is safe, not snooze whimpering about how tired he is. I know 99 times out of 100 a noise will not be an intruder but when it is, what then? How is your sleepy DH likely to be any more safe after an interaction with an intruder than my man ready to jump up and go with a baseball bat at 3am?

BlueEyedPeanut · 27/11/2023 14:32

DonnaBanana · 27/11/2023 11:07

Fact is, my man will get out of bed and make sure the family is safe, not snooze whimpering about how tired he is. I know 99 times out of 100 a noise will not be an intruder but when it is, what then? How is your sleepy DH likely to be any more safe after an interaction with an intruder than my man ready to jump up and go with a baseball bat at 3am?

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Well, in my opinion it is safer to not have an interaction with an intruder at all. Surely your XBox isn't worth your bat-wielding husband getting shot in the chest? Unless you've made a lot of enemies, anyone breaking into your house is there to take shit. Let them get on with it and you all stay out of danger.

CatamaranViper · 27/11/2023 14:37

Just to point out, OP didn't actually ask her DH to go check. She made a weirdly PA comment that someone should go check. I hate it when people aren't direct. If she wanted her husband to check, she should have woken him up and asked him to go look while she went to check on DS.

If he then refused, then I'd be upset.

Zamzamzamdeedah · 27/11/2023 14:45

I went by myself when I heard something when DH was asleep. I have handy fire extinguishers exactly for this and when home alone. Chances of it being intruder are extremely low. Much bigger change of dodgy shelf put up by "experienced handyman" off local FB.....

Catusrusty · 29/11/2023 09:42

Jordy223451 · 26/11/2023 16:51

Yep, you think women need protected by men. Equality means not treating one gender differently than the other. The actual audacity that you think a man should be the one to risk his life whilst you do is exactly what toxic femininity is.

Show quote history

What an utterly thick as mince post and totally misogynistic post from someone who clearly knows absolutely nothing about feminism.

Feminism is about ensuring women experience equity and do not have to live their lives under the oppression of patriarchy. It is absolutely not the principle that women must do everything identically to men in a system totally rigged for the benefit of men. That is not equality. It is how we've ended up in a situation where women now take on the same roles as men in the workplace, because that is said to be equality, but still don't get paid the same and still take on the majority of housework and child rearing, because again, we get told well you wanted equality, which of course just doing everything is not. There is post after post after post on Mumsnet of women stuck with men who do not do their share.

Stating a woman must be able to fight off a man who is naturally larger and stronger than her is misogyny. It is akin to saying women must play sport with men otherwise that are not feminists.

Part of women experiencing equity would stem from understanding that women and men are physically different. Women's bodies are utterly amazing, however men are physically stronger and faster. If there was an intruder then that intruder would most likely be male, and in that instance then yes of course in the main it would be better for a man to fight with them.

And as for all the people saying that the OP is catastrophising, I know various people who have experienced home invasion. And you can bet your life that when it happened to my dearest friend, it was her stark naked contact lens less husband that charged downstairs to chase them away. Because as a 6 foot two gym goer, he was still clearly better suited that his eight stone, just over five foot wife.

Of course the use of language like 'absolute audacity' and 'toxic femininity ' makes think this poster is both very young and a male who wants to try to give women a kicking by telling them they're not feminists because they wouldn't want to fight off a much larger male. Which is utterly banal and ridiculous.

Also it's sex not gender.

Isthisexpected · 29/11/2023 19:31

Catusrusty · 29/11/2023 09:42

What an utterly thick as mince post and totally misogynistic post from someone who clearly knows absolutely nothing about feminism.

Feminism is about ensuring women experience equity and do not have to live their lives under the oppression of patriarchy. It is absolutely not the principle that women must do everything identically to men in a system totally rigged for the benefit of men. That is not equality. It is how we've ended up in a situation where women now take on the same roles as men in the workplace, because that is said to be equality, but still don't get paid the same and still take on the majority of housework and child rearing, because again, we get told well you wanted equality, which of course just doing everything is not. There is post after post after post on Mumsnet of women stuck with men who do not do their share.

Stating a woman must be able to fight off a man who is naturally larger and stronger than her is misogyny. It is akin to saying women must play sport with men otherwise that are not feminists.

Part of women experiencing equity would stem from understanding that women and men are physically different. Women's bodies are utterly amazing, however men are physically stronger and faster. If there was an intruder then that intruder would most likely be male, and in that instance then yes of course in the main it would be better for a man to fight with them.

And as for all the people saying that the OP is catastrophising, I know various people who have experienced home invasion. And you can bet your life that when it happened to my dearest friend, it was her stark naked contact lens less husband that charged downstairs to chase them away. Because as a 6 foot two gym goer, he was still clearly better suited that his eight stone, just over five foot wife.

Of course the use of language like 'absolute audacity' and 'toxic femininity ' makes think this poster is both very young and a male who wants to try to give women a kicking by telling them they're not feminists because they wouldn't want to fight off a much larger male. Which is utterly banal and ridiculous.

Also it's sex not gender.

Show quote history

Thank you! You put it much better than me!

Jordy223451 · 01/12/2023 15:19

Catusrusty · 29/11/2023 09:42

What an utterly thick as mince post and totally misogynistic post from someone who clearly knows absolutely nothing about feminism.

Feminism is about ensuring women experience equity and do not have to live their lives under the oppression of patriarchy. It is absolutely not the principle that women must do everything identically to men in a system totally rigged for the benefit of men. That is not equality. It is how we've ended up in a situation where women now take on the same roles as men in the workplace, because that is said to be equality, but still don't get paid the same and still take on the majority of housework and child rearing, because again, we get told well you wanted equality, which of course just doing everything is not. There is post after post after post on Mumsnet of women stuck with men who do not do their share.

Stating a woman must be able to fight off a man who is naturally larger and stronger than her is misogyny. It is akin to saying women must play sport with men otherwise that are not feminists.

Part of women experiencing equity would stem from understanding that women and men are physically different. Women's bodies are utterly amazing, however men are physically stronger and faster. If there was an intruder then that intruder would most likely be male, and in that instance then yes of course in the main it would be better for a man to fight with them.

And as for all the people saying that the OP is catastrophising, I know various people who have experienced home invasion. And you can bet your life that when it happened to my dearest friend, it was her stark naked contact lens less husband that charged downstairs to chase them away. Because as a 6 foot two gym goer, he was still clearly better suited that his eight stone, just over five foot wife.

Of course the use of language like 'absolute audacity' and 'toxic femininity ' makes think this poster is both very young and a male who wants to try to give women a kicking by telling them they're not feminists because they wouldn't want to fight off a much larger male. Which is utterly banal and ridiculous.

Also it's sex not gender.

Show quote history

Yep, another one of those who think women are more valuable then men and that a man should risk his life. All along you are promoting using men as shields. I bet your another one of those feminists who think that it is OK for a woman to slap a man and that same man should just stand there and take it. Emailine Pankhurst would be turning in her grave at your behaviour.

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 15:57

Jordy223451 · 01/12/2023 15:19

Yep, another one of those who think women are more valuable then men and that a man should risk his life. All along you are promoting using men as shields. I bet your another one of those feminists who think that it is OK for a woman to slap a man and that same man should just stand there and take it. Emailine Pankhurst would be turning in her grave at your behaviour.

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At no point have I promoted using men as 'shields'. I have highlighted that a man would be for the main part physically better equipped to restrain or fight another man.

You really give yourself away with your language. I'm just another 'one' to you aren't I. Part of a group that you consider less human than men. Women aren't people to you.

I've taken the time to explain to you that your understanding of what feminism is, is in fact completely flawed. You have no grasp of it at all.

You either can't comprehend my post or are just a silly little boy sat on a phone or computer his mum bought has brought him. Your dramatic over reach regarding women slapping men was simply trite nonsense. The statistics of violence against women and the deaths of women caused by men bear that out. Perhaps you find the deaths of between two and three women every single week at the hands of their partners and ex partners somehow amusing.

And it's Emmeline not Emailine, and yes she would be horrified by someone like you trying to shove women down because of their own feelings hatred and misplaced superiority.

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 16:00

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 15:57

At no point have I promoted using men as 'shields'. I have highlighted that a man would be for the main part physically better equipped to restrain or fight another man.

You really give yourself away with your language. I'm just another 'one' to you aren't I. Part of a group that you consider less human than men. Women aren't people to you.

I've taken the time to explain to you that your understanding of what feminism is, is in fact completely flawed. You have no grasp of it at all.

You either can't comprehend my post or are just a silly little boy sat on a phone or computer his mum bought has brought him. Your dramatic over reach regarding women slapping men was simply trite nonsense. The statistics of violence against women and the deaths of women caused by men bear that out. Perhaps you find the deaths of between two and three women every single week at the hands of their partners and ex partners somehow amusing.

And it's Emmeline not Emailine, and yes she would be horrified by someone like you trying to shove women down because of their own feelings hatred and misplaced superiority.

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Oh and just to point out that from a biological point of view, yes, women are much, much more valuable to the continued survival of the human race.

Jordy223451 · 01/12/2023 18:42

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 15:57

At no point have I promoted using men as 'shields'. I have highlighted that a man would be for the main part physically better equipped to restrain or fight another man.

You really give yourself away with your language. I'm just another 'one' to you aren't I. Part of a group that you consider less human than men. Women aren't people to you.

I've taken the time to explain to you that your understanding of what feminism is, is in fact completely flawed. You have no grasp of it at all.

You either can't comprehend my post or are just a silly little boy sat on a phone or computer his mum bought has brought him. Your dramatic over reach regarding women slapping men was simply trite nonsense. The statistics of violence against women and the deaths of women caused by men bear that out. Perhaps you find the deaths of between two and three women every single week at the hands of their partners and ex partners somehow amusing.

And it's Emmeline not Emailine, and yes she would be horrified by someone like you trying to shove women down because of their own feelings hatred and misplaced superiority.

Show quote history

You do a good enough job of putting women down yourself. And expecting a man to put himself in danger is using him as a shield. Actually the DV statistics are inherently flawed and unreliable. Your just a silly little girl who thinks she can bully and push anyone she deems fit. Why do you think men are 2nd class citizens rather than equals. You really think you can have your cake and eat it

Jordy223451 · 01/12/2023 18:44

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 16:00

Oh and just to point out that from a biological point of view, yes, women are much, much more valuable to the continued survival of the human race.

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Hahaha, you need more women to repopulate the world then you need men. And the human race wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for men.

Jordy223451 · 01/12/2023 18:45

Catusrusty · 01/12/2023 16:00

Oh and just to point out that from a biological point of view, yes, women are much, much more valuable to the continued survival of the human race.

Show quote history

Oh and your definitely a man eater. Are you a political lesbian as well?

Panaa · 03/12/2023 23:21

@Jordy223451
I bet you have women lining up for you 😂