Who should have got up?

[Autieangel]

Dh and I went to bed around 945 last night. I couldn't sleep and at about 1030 I heard a loud bang in the house. Like a crashing noise. We have 4 year old ds in his bedroom and a dog downstairs.

I woke dh who said it was probably nothing. I thought one of us should check in case it was to do with our son.

Dh refused so I checked the house alone and concluded our son had put toys on his bed and must have kicked some off.

I was annoyed that dh left it to me and essentially went back to sleep while I walked round the house alone.

Who's unreasonable here?

Checking a fallen toy is a ‘job’? Why does your husband have to wake up because you get unreasonably freaked out by a toy falling? You have a 4 year old and a dog and your first thought is a noisy intruder? Your poor husband.

She was already awake. All she had to do was go and check on her child.

You should have got up if you were so bothered about it.

If I hear anything in the night there's only me here to investigate anyway.

It's nothing to do with it "defaulting" to you.

You were awake! You heard the noise, you go and check. If he was awake then he would go check.

If you genuinely were scared it was an intruder then fine, wake him and say 'i think there is an intruder in the house, let's call the police'

My DH would have jumped up and gone to investigate. Telling me to stay in bed.

Here's a cautionary tale.

When our preemie son came home from hospital he had a little sensor mat in his cot, and that thing went off ALL the bloody time. If the kid so much as farted it was setting the alarm off, like 20 times a day. It was really annoying and we were considering ditching it.

On the day my husband and bickered about who's turn it was, our son had actually stopped breathing. We both felt like complete dicks. We had wasted literal minutes debating who traipsed up the stairs last time.

So... don't be that idiot. If you hear a noise and you are genuinely worried about your kid, don't wait to wake your husband, don't work out who's turn it is.

Get the fuck up and check.

(Son now a strapping young adult, but came close to death too many times).

(The intruder stuff is balderdash, its highly unlikely to be intruders, it will be your kid or a pet, or the boiler blowing up, none of which specifically need a big strong man (feminism?) To deal with... Don't gaslight with that as an excuse, you know you just wanted him to deal with the issue and you're pissed he rolled over and blissfully slept through what turned out to be a complete non-event.

Ffs grow up; I can’t believe you’ve even asked who’s unreasonable 😂 you are totally May I suggest you wear your Bridgette Jones knickers tonight just incase a teddy hits tge deck

On the day my husband and bickered about who's turn it was, our son had actually stopped breathing. We both felt like complete dicks. We had wasted literal minutes debating who traipsed up the stairs last time.

what happened? @Whathappenedtomyvag

Sorry OP but your husband sounds very weak leaving it to you

more like tired and comfy in bed

His comfort was more important than the safety of his wife and child, he's a weak man.

A weak man? He probably just realised it was all completely innocent and didn't want to get out of bed when his wife was wide awake.

or he thought as i would

its most likely a dropped toy
and seeing as my partner is awake…,

given your username @SoTired12

perhaps you’re being woken up too many times to check out noises?

When did he say it was a dropped toy? I must have missed it, sorry.

I just know if I heard a crash in the night and for whatever reason felt uneasy going to investigate it myself, my boyfriend wouldn't hesitate to come with me or go look himself

Maybe he knew his wife was being pathetic.

he didn’t know it was a dropped toy

but that’s what i’d think

couldn’t resist a cheeky AS

a husband calling his wife “a cunt” probably is evidence of how strong he is to you?!

SoTired12 · 20/06/2023 19:30

Oh ffs it's just a word, I can't believe the amount of people who would leave their partner if they called them a...cunt 😱

that’s what the op has concluded

dropped toy

Oh heck OP you're getting a rough time here!

Everyone is different - my anxiety coupled with the time of year approaching then yes, I'm absolutely waking my husband up to investigate loud bangs with me. He'd also fully expect me to do so.

Don't over think it x

We presume you are an adult and are able to check out a noise in your own home. Are you really that dependant on your OH that you can't do that.

😂 state of you trying to twist things, are you single by any chance, or married to a low T fanny?

My comment on that thread is absolutely nothing to do with this.

If the OPs husband had woke up and called her a cunt, I wouldn't think it was manly at all, why would it be?

I would wake my husband up and ask him to check.

It's more likely to be a male intruder and my husband is more likely to win in a fight if needed so it's common sense for me to send him.

If he wasn't home I'd check myself but I'd arm myself with something before going downstairs on my own.

I’d find your balls if I were you. Why should it be a blokes job to get up and investigate a loud noise? I don’t believe in this man of the house crap. Keep a baseball bat in your bedroom if you need to for next time and maybe take up karate or something as a back up. Anyone I find in my house that doesn’t live here would have to go through me first. Suggesting you take turns is petty AF and to think you think it’s a males job to protect you a little sad to be honest. Maybe before you go to bed, clear the toys off your DC’s bed and crate your dog overnight.