To hate my partners dog?

[Completelywornout]

Ok so I’m expecting some hate with this 1.
But I just don’t like her. I look at her and don’t feel any love towards her. Maybe I’m a bit jealous, but who knows.
I’ve told him repeatedly I don’t want her on our bed, yet she’s always on it. She sleeps under his covers and it actually makes me feel a bit sick. He says what’s the problem she’s on my side… and I see his point but that doesn’t make me feel any different about it.
When we’re in the room she’s on his side- but whenever we go out the room she will get on my side. Pull the covers back and sleep on my sheets 🤢 forever telling her off. I’ve started putting empty bottles all along my side of the bed while I’m not in the room but recently she’s started pushing them over and just getting under the covers. She always gets on my side, even tho dps side is closer to her bed!
A few weeks ago I went into the room and she’d peed on my side of the bed! Straight through to the mattress. I was furious.
If it were up to me she wouldn’t be in our room full stop, but unfortunately we have to keep her and our other dog separate at all times and we’re scared 1 of the kids will accidentally let them get together so keeping her in another room isn’t an option.
Im at a loss on how I’m meant to keep her off my bed and it’s driving me crazy. Dp doesn’t care because obviously he allows her to do it. She’s almost 6 so have a few more years to put up with this and I feel like it’s just going to get worse.

Shut the door?

What's the living situation?
Did he have the dog before you met?
Are you living together?
Why can't the 2 dogs be together?

Not a situation I would live in

I Think the writing is on the wall for your relationship. I’d not give up my dog for my partner so I’d call time if we couldn’t agree on sleeping arrangements. Sorry OP.

Yanbu but I guess the dog was there first so it's kind of something you have to put up with! I don't dogs myself and don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who had a dog especially if it was allowed in the bedroom. He loves the dog though and it's his house so I guess it depends how much you hate his dog and whether it's a deal breaker. I know that if someone said to me it's me or your cat, I'd chose my cat!

So you have to sleep in dog piss and hair covered bed and the dogs aren't safe together as they fight?

Is the other dog yours?

The dogs in competition with you, that’s why she peed on your side of the bed - ‘he’s mine’ she’s saying!

So you have to sleep in dog piss and hair covered bed and the dogs aren't safe together as they fight?

Just realised I assumed it was his house if it is your house or a house you moved into together then I think it would be fair to come up with a no dog in the bedroom compromise.

I LOVE my dog. I've had dogs all my life. I'd NEVER let a dog sleep in my bed. Mine doesn't even go upstairs. I'm with you on this one.

Can she not sleep in a crate? I love my dog but she doesn’t sleep in my bed

So he moved in with me when she was around 1 year old. There was no problems or anything and she’s always slept in our room. Our other dog used to sleep in our room too but they began fighting and this dog that lives upstairs has had to have 2/3 operations in the last year because of it.
We called a dog behaviouralist and it’s since then that I’ve had a major problem with her sleeping on the bed. He said we need to keep all the dogs off the furniture (I’ve come home today and found dp in the front room with the other dog on the couch 🫠) he won’t listen to the advice and thinks he knows his dogs better than anyone.
Our other dog we bought together, so she’s our dog, this dog i class as just his, although technically she’s mine also, as I’ve had her since she was 1 year old.
We tried to rehome the other dog but wasn’t successful, and with the upcoming ban it’s impossible to rehome her now, so we’re stuck in this situation.
My DP does everything for the dogs, walks, baths, cleans up after them etc. so I’m not resentful because of that. But on the odd occasion he asks me to feed her, I find myself being very 😠
It’s not the poor dogs fault, so I do feel guilty for feeling the way I do. And separating from DP isn’t an option. I’d also never make him choose between me and the dog because that would be completely unfair and I’d never do that to him (plus what if he picks the dog 🤣🤣🤣) but no it would never come down to that.
Im just going to have to find something heavier to put on my side of the bed to keep her off. If he wants to sleep in dog hair and smelly bed then that’s up to him I suppose

I think she’s too old for this. She did have a crate when he 1st moved in but hasn’t had 1 for many years. I may suggest that to DP though, as she’s gotten herself into chocolate and other food that I’ve left (tucked right inside my bedside table). Atm she’s wearing a cone so she hasn’t done that for a while but once the cone comes off she’ll be back to it I guess

So, he thinks it’s okay for you to sleep in a pissy, hair covered bed ? You need to raise your standards . He doesn’t care much for you does he ?

We tried to rehome the other dog but wasn’t successful, and with the upcoming ban it’s impossible to rehome her now

So the other dog that's aggressive is an XL Bully?

Not surprised that his dog is wanting to be safe in the bed, tbh.

Yeah she’s the softest dopiest cleverest dog I’ve ever owned but her and the other dog just do not get along. She’s absolutely fine with other dogs, children and people but I think it’s a jealousy issue. The other dog is far more favoured by my DP and I think she knows it

Poor little dog. She's probably incredibly anxious and stressed, cooped up in a bedroom, bullied by the other (bigger?) dog and can surely sense you don't like her. No wonder she's clingy to your DP amd peeing in the bed. Horrible living conditions for her😪.

🤮🤮🤮 with you on this one OP, sorry but even on his own side the bed will stink and the mattress. Is separate rooms or beds an option? 2 singles? 😂

What dog is sleeping in the bed?

I wonder if she's anxious and unhappy due to new dog?

Difficult situation tbh.
Ive been there....i don't mind dogs anywhere, but, only when i say so. My old collie was trained to the hilt. The dog hasn't been trained. I see it a lot...people get a dog and never train them. You may want to try training the dogs but everyone has to have same rules for the dog otherwise the dog will resent you if its just you.
Its not good outcome. Lazy dog owners.

This. The whole situation sounds intolerable

She actually has a really good life and is just a tiny bit smaller than the xl. Our xl is quite small for the breed standards. We tend to spend more time in the bedroom than any other room 2bh, atm I’m in the bedroom and dp is downstairs with the other dog. I just don’t like her on my bed. She can sit on the sofa and I couldn’t care less. Also I’m not overly bothered that she sleeps on dps side I’d just rather she didn’t. I’d never tell him that it wasn’t allowed. It’s the getting under my covers and sleeping on my sheets that I hate. If she just slept on the top I wouldn’t be as bad but she doesn’t.

She’s actually trained really well and will do anything my DP tells her. Me on the other hand, she just looks at me like “what?” 🤣 maybe that’s part of the issue. She probably thinks she’s higher up in the ranks because she gets to sleep with DP. Idk

Why is the dog weeing in the house, OP?

What's going on? Is it scared, in pain, injured?