To hate my partners dog?

[Completelywornout]

Ok so I’m expecting some hate with this 1.
But I just don’t like her. I look at her and don’t feel any love towards her. Maybe I’m a bit jealous, but who knows.
I’ve told him repeatedly I don’t want her on our bed, yet she’s always on it. She sleeps under his covers and it actually makes me feel a bit sick. He says what’s the problem she’s on my side… and I see his point but that doesn’t make me feel any different about it.
When we’re in the room she’s on his side- but whenever we go out the room she will get on my side. Pull the covers back and sleep on my sheets 🤢 forever telling her off. I’ve started putting empty bottles all along my side of the bed while I’m not in the room but recently she’s started pushing them over and just getting under the covers. She always gets on my side, even tho dps side is closer to her bed!
A few weeks ago I went into the room and she’d peed on my side of the bed! Straight through to the mattress. I was furious.
If it were up to me she wouldn’t be in our room full stop, but unfortunately we have to keep her and our other dog separate at all times and we’re scared 1 of the kids will accidentally let them get together so keeping her in another room isn’t an option.
Im at a loss on how I’m meant to keep her off my bed and it’s driving me crazy. Dp doesn’t care because obviously he allows her to do it. She’s almost 6 so have a few more years to put up with this and I feel like it’s just going to get worse.

Oh please, just stop it.

Unless you yourself are prepared to take on this dog, go about the process of exempting her & then abiding by them, you have no business passing comment on whether someone else chooses to PTS.

The reality for exempted dogs is a life spent on a lead & muzzled when off their own property, & for the owner to be absolutely on the ball with keeping all their paperwork up to date, unless they want their dog seized.

Many dog related businesses may become inaccessible to them, due to insurance not covering them or the business owner making a personal choice not to allow them.

As yet it's unclear what the options will be for the newly banned breed & dogs considered 'type' when it comes to accessing all but essential (ie veterinary) pet services, but personally I would prepare for a worst case scenario if I had a dog that could be mistaken for type.

That would mean no relaxed offlead walks anywhere, ever, & no secure dog fields so the dogs can have important offlead time.

No 'doggy daycare' or dog walkers for when I'm at work, no groomers, popping into pet shops or dog friendly shops or cafes.

No boarding kennels or pet sitters for if I need to go away or simply want to go on holiday, & no holiday destinations/attractions that would accept my dog if I wanted to take them with me.

To fulfil all the mental & physical needs of a large breed dog under these stipulations will be a challenge for even the most dedicated of dog owners, let alone someone whose home sounds like it's already in absolute chaos.

The dogs, all 4 of them, but especially the boxer mix stuck in a bedroom, will be in a near constant state of stress, which in turn can result in them making choices, such as fighting or redirected aggro, they wouldn't make if they didn't perpetually feel like there was an imminent threat.

FWIW I don't agree with the ban, especially in its current ambiguous incarnation that ringfences far too many dogs that may or may not, but I do agree there is a serious problem

For some dogs, showing real love for them is making an appointment to PTS, then giving them a few amazing last days where it's just about them doing the things they love- long walks in their favourite places, spending time with those they love, playing their favourite games, treats galore & their favourite food for dinner.

Give over.

There's always options.

You don't put dogs to sleep because you are dumb enough to get a dog you don't have time or space for.

I have rescued multiple dogs, currently have a whole pack, I put in the time and work to train them and ensure that they have a good life.

People getting dogs they don't have space for etc is the persons fault not the dogs. Let's start putting people down instead because loads of them are shitty.

Breeds shouldn't be banned, breeding etc should be regulated to start with. You clearly know very little about different breeds etc and relationships, you think you should kill dogs who have terrible owners, wow what a terrible attitude.

Don't get a dog if you can't care for it, it should require adequate checks and a license, same for kids because some people shouldnt have them. People suck.

Your appeals to emotion & mild ad hominems contribute neither reasoned discussion, nor constructive advice for the OP.

Some of the PPs have already offered lots of helpful advice for an already extremely difficult, stressful & potentially dangerous situation.

And then there's your golden nugget of wisdom:

'let's start putting people down instead because loads of them are shitty'

Just for starters, that's illegal, so not a viable option.

I'll reiterate, if you are so concerned, & have as much experience rehabbing dogs with complex behavioural issues as you claim, then you'll either have the resources, or at least know someone who has the resources, to take this dog on & turn her around.

Good luck with that, let us know how you get on😊

@MegaMay I'm not usually someone who would advise putting a healthy dog to sleep unless there was literally no other option and keeping it in the current environment has a high risk of serious harm to the dog or others.

I think this is one of those situations where there is no other sensible option. OP is running out of time to responsibly rehome the XL. If she can find a suitable home with rescue backup, then of course that would be preferable but the chance of that happening is somewhere between no fucking chance and when hell freezes over.

The other option would be to rehome the other three dogs.

They cannot be kept together. OP has neither the time, space nor expertise to make keeping them together safe, and I very much doubt she would find any behaviorist who would advise keeping all dogs and be willing to work with her to promote harmony between the dogs. Not least because it's not actually possible with OP's current housing situation.

To rehab the dogs successfully she would need to remove the XL or the other 3 dogs from the home temporarily. You cannot rehab dogs when their stress levels are so high. And even if she could find someone to help her and she could find a temp home for the other three dogs and they were successfully rehabbed they could never, ever be left unsupervised together and would need careful, vigilant management for the rest of their lives to ensure the relationship between the dogs doesn't deteriorate again.

Add to that that unless the dogs are her full-time job and she is willing and able to dedicate 6-8 hours a day, every day, to meeting their needs, none of these animals are going to be getting a satisfactory level of care.

Very soon it will be illegal to rehome/sell xl bully dogs. Rescues are not taking them as they know it will be illegal to rehome them in a couple of months. If an owner can no longer keep the dog they will have to pts.

Which is what should be done with this one. It's already savaged the other dogs.

This can't be real? Are there really these kind of people out there living in such chaos like this and not understand the potential time bomb waiting to go off. OP you sounded so blasé about your kids not being alone with the xl or even allowing their friends around because of her. That's batshit crazy! I feel sorry for all the dogs and the kids. You and your partner are absolutely stupid to think the issue here is hygiene of the bed.