To hate my partners dog?

[Completelywornout]

Ok so I’m expecting some hate with this 1.
But I just don’t like her. I look at her and don’t feel any love towards her. Maybe I’m a bit jealous, but who knows.
I’ve told him repeatedly I don’t want her on our bed, yet she’s always on it. She sleeps under his covers and it actually makes me feel a bit sick. He says what’s the problem she’s on my side… and I see his point but that doesn’t make me feel any different about it.
When we’re in the room she’s on his side- but whenever we go out the room she will get on my side. Pull the covers back and sleep on my sheets 🤢 forever telling her off. I’ve started putting empty bottles all along my side of the bed while I’m not in the room but recently she’s started pushing them over and just getting under the covers. She always gets on my side, even tho dps side is closer to her bed!
A few weeks ago I went into the room and she’d peed on my side of the bed! Straight through to the mattress. I was furious.
If it were up to me she wouldn’t be in our room full stop, but unfortunately we have to keep her and our other dog separate at all times and we’re scared 1 of the kids will accidentally let them get together so keeping her in another room isn’t an option.
Im at a loss on how I’m meant to keep her off my bed and it’s driving me crazy. Dp doesn’t care because obviously he allows her to do it. She’s almost 6 so have a few more years to put up with this and I feel like it’s just going to get worse.

doesn't sound as if the dog likes you much either

Do you walk any of these dogs OP or just shuffle them from room to room?

This is a dp issue and not the dog as you said the dog does do what he says. So he has to retrain it and get a dog bed for beside his side of the bed and every time she/he gets up on the bed he has to calmly put her down but firmly. This will take time and patience but the dog has to know who is boss. In our old place we let our dog up on sofa but now we moved into new place with new sofa she does not come up on sofa and she knows not to and never does. So it is up to your partner and he has to be firm with the dog as you cannot be sleeping in dog hairs and wee. Hope you get it sorted soon.

Yes they get walked twice a day by my DP. Sometimes I take them out during the day if I’m free. Obviously it’s hard because we have to walk them separately but it’s got to be done. They get played with and have their own toys to play with as well. They all get fed separately and each have their own beds

The problem is he wants her on the bed. She does have her own bed which is right next to our bed and will stay in it all night and will only get up in the morning when she’s told she is allowed. It’s when we’re not in the room that she does as she pleases. Right now she’s in her bed and I can hear her cleaning herself. She is a lovely dog and by far the best behaved in the house, and I massively regret saying I hated her. I don’t at all. I was just really frustrated and fed up when I started the post.
The only solution I can think of his having the bully pts but it will absolutely break me and DP. We’ve never been in this position before and have had many dogs. I was asking for advice, and I knew I’d get some hate but I didn’t expect people to say I shouldn’t own dogs or have kids, and that we live in a disgusting home. We really don’t. Everyone’s needs are met to the best of our abilities, and I’m not stupid, i understand this is not a good environment to be in. I don’t want to live like this and I don’t want my beloved pet’s to live like this either. Everyone has a breaking point and tonight I reached mine.

Sounds like another dog attack disaster waiting to happen.

And OP will be back saying I didn't know!

Are any of these dogs desexed?

Sadly with the violence the dog as displayed I agree.

is it all dogs you dislike or is it just this particular one?

The dog can sense you dislike it, btw…

maybe find a partner who hates dogs just as much as you?

So sad and unnecessary. The poor dog living in fear of an aggressive dog. She can’t even go to the toilet without passing through the downstairs space ‘owned’ by the other dog. OP, this is unsustainable. Three times! Do they need to fight to the death to get your DP to act responsibly? And your poor children at risk daily. It’s a hard decision to make but there is a right and sensible one…

I can’t believe you left a 21 year old in this situation. If you were my mother I’d never speak to you again. That is some serious trauma, and he could very easily be dead or horribly maimed right now.

Can you not see how incredibly abnormal it is to have two massive aggressive dogs to corral through a complicated door and room set up? And you were happy to have your own child in that risky situation?

What the fuck am I reading. Poor dog is being constantly trapped in one room in the house because your XL bully has attacked it enough for it to need multiple operations and your biggest concern is the dog lying on your bed?!

Agreed, I feel a sense of panic just reading about this. The thought of my children, who are similar ages, having to live in this environment is unthinkable. That the OP and her partner deliberately created this situation is utterly beyond me. But then most of what I read on here about dogs baffles me, some people have lost their minds and sense of perspective.

This.

Actually..

Just noticed you have an XL bully living with your children. You need your head looked at. For gods sake get rid before it mauls one of them.

She’s well behaved and does as she’s told 100% of the time.

This is clearly nonsense. She attacked the other dog more than once and they can not be in the same space.

What a ridiculous set up. Your xl is a danger to your other dog, the whole situation is affecting everyone's life. Why do you want to live like this.
Rehome all the dogs and have the XL put to sleep since it's attacking dogs to the point of them needing operations and restore some peace

I work with dogs, I love my own dogs, I compete in sports with my dogs so I spend a huge amount of time with them but I couldn’t stand having them sleep in bed with me and if I ever met someone who thought this was okay it would be a dealbreaker for me. To be clear it’s not because I think dogs need to know their place and shouldn’t ever be allowed in the furniture, they sleep on the sofa all the time and come up on the bed occasionally for short periods, it’s the thought of all the hair shedding, arse licking and fidgeting while I’m trying to sleep 😂

in your case op I think it’s a bit late to leave your partner or get rid of the dog, could she sleep upstairs in a crate next to your bed so she would still be in the room but unable to get in the bed?

You have 4 dogs who fight each other! Even your pugs are aggressive! It's a disaster waiting to happen.

That's assuming there's a word of truth in any of this ... I'm wondering.

For anyone wondering what sort of person has an XL bully, this is very enlightening.

Ok so this is AIBU and you are getting some harsh replies but you obviously must realise that thing’s need to change.

Firstly I would say that multiple dog households are complicated, one dog can be forgiven some misdemeanours and no issues will arise, this is not the case with multiple dogs. That’s not to say it doesn’t work but some people manage it really well or I guess some are just lucky.

I have working dogs and have had ones in the past that dislike each other, this then takes careful management.

If you are determined not to have the xl pts I would invest in a decent,
secure kennel with run/ pen. Not a half assed attempt that can be escaped from. I would then keep the xl in it through the day and let the other have the run of the house, then at night let the other xl in if you want to and shut the other away in another room. The follow the other advice and get proper advice from a behaviourist. And get them spayed!

This. That poor dog. You are always telling her off and were ‘furious’ when she peed on the bed as a one off when she had just had an operation after being attacked. Fucking hell. This is heartbreaking.

I have had dogs since I was a kid. Have had 3 rescues,2 from big well known organisations,who both had massive issues,we worked hard, one was PTS, the other returned. Third was "private" and she was lovely,had her 12 years! Ex H,,dogs banned from bedroom, second H, we used to have 3 sharing our bed! As for keeping them separate.... until you don't!! We lost a dog in January just shy of his 18th birthday, tried probably over 100 rescues, mainly behaviour problems,DD who lives nearby has a one year old DD,we have an 8 year old border collie (she has a bed in the corner of our bedroom,and a 15 week old bc puppy. She is crated just outside the bedroom door,at night. Twice in the day,DH has forgotten to close the bedroom door, thundering around playing with the other dog, she has peed on the bed! We live in a bungalow. I personally wouldn't keep a dog who has bitten (been there,) not would I have ANY brachial face dog, because of the problems. I know a lot of vets would like them banned. I have a relative with a pug,was speaking to her this week,he has a raft of health issues,cost her thousands, but she loves him.

@margotrose why should the OP & her kids leave their house, where they lived before he moved in?

the XL is their joint dog, they bought together.

something needs to change, but it's not only the OP's fault. Her DP IS at least as much to blame, if not more