To not want to go swimming every single weekend...

[lazymummy1988]

A couple of months ago I changed jobs so that I wasn't working Sundays, and could spend them as a family (DS6 & DD2)

Since I've changed.. every single Sunday DS and DH go swimming. Sometimes myself and DD come along but it's quite cold and she's usually got a cough or cold lately, and tbh I just don't enjoy it. So myself and DD either spend the day at home or wandering round the town aimlessly waiting for them to finish swimming.

AIBU to not want to do that every Sunday? I may as well go back to working them as they're not enjoyable family days I had in mind!

No of course not.

I'd probably join them once a month and I love swimming.

Can they not go to an early morning session? Our local pool does 8:30-9:30 family swim, they'll be home early enough it doesn't take up the whole day , DS and I used to do it frequently but now he says the pool is too cold (it is his lips go blue)

How long are they swimming for? Surely just an hour or so? It’s such a good skill for DS to learn I’d encourage it, but maybe they could go earlier in the day so it’s not taking up all day? I can see it would be frustrating if they head off at about 11am and not back until 1pm ish. I’d also expect them to miss it if you have firm plans to do something else, but if you’re just mooching about at home, it seems a good thing for DS & DH to do.

It’s unreasonable to expect them to stop an activity they enjoy on the weekend and have been doing a while just because you have decided you now want to be available on the weekend.

You don't need to wait around for them to finish. Do something that you and DD enjoy then have family time afterwards?

YANBU to not want to go swimming.

I don't see the problem with this setup though. It's nice for your DH and DS to spend some time together swimming. Realistically, they can't be spending more than a few hours at the pool, so plenty of time for family stuff later in the day. It's up to you what you do with DD. Why not do something you'd enjoy together instead of wandering around a shopping centre? It sounds like a perfectly nice Sunday to me.

So myself and DD either spend the day at home or wandering round the town aimlessly waiting for them to finish swimming.

The day? How long are they swimming for?!

The earliest they can book as it's a splash zone with slides etc is 11am and it's around a 30 min drive away and a 90 min session, so with it being Sunday by the time it's done it's too late to do much else.

If I'd have known I'd have stayed at my old job as I was quite happy and the new one is making me miserable. I'm literally sat home twiddling my thumbs thinking I wish I hadn't bothered the effort of changing jobs. I had in mind we would have days out or at least days together,

They go all day?

Plan some alternatives. It needs to involve exercise for the puppies small kids. Forest or beach walk with hot chocolates in a thermos? Sandcastles if you’re at the beach - wear wellies and waterproof overalls. (And maybe room temp UHT cartons chocolate milk cartons are better with a 2yr old in the mix). Trip to the biggest park with the best playground + coffee cart (pick a weekend with fine weather forecast). Kid friendly museum exhibition? (I’m thinking dinosaurs at the National History Museum).

So what are the enjoyable family days you had in mind? I think with those age children, you're not going to be having a "day out" every weekend - particularly in the winter. Why don't you suggest some things that you'd like to do, and you can do those after swimming, or maybe instead of sometimes, if the times don't work?

Swimming is surely only an hour maximum anyway, so leave plenty of time to do things in the rest of the day.

You're being unreasonable because you obviously knew they went swimming on a Sunday before changing your hours and it's unfair to make them change their plans.

Also it's clearly not the whole day so seems a little mean to moan you can't do stuff as a family when they are probably out the house a few hours at most.

They usually book the 1pm-2pm session as DH can't be arsed to get there earlier meaning it's done by 2.30-3.30 and then it's too late to go anywhere else I wouldn't mind every other weekend but it's every single bloody Sunday.

So book something else now for next week. What do you enjoy?

I would suggest alternate Sundays in this situation.

Sounds like a fantastic way to spend a Sunday to be honest especially as the weather gets worse. It's still not all day even if it's 30 minutes away. What is it you want to do on a Sunday instead?

I think it depends. If your DH is teaching ds to swim, it’s annoying but has to be done regularly. If they’re going just for fun, I think it’s fine to say, ‘shall we plan to do xyz next Sunday?’ and expect them to have a break from swimming. Or you could see if there is a shorter/earlier session at a pool nearby?

I just think things like we have plenty of stately home type things with farm parks etc near us, we live near York so there is museums, even soft play! It was DH who wanted me to stop working weekends which I don't understand tbh now.. I think it was just too hard work going swimming with both kids so if I'm home it means I can have dd.

If you went back to work on Sundays, what would that mean for the family? DS missing out on swimming, or DD being taken too, despite usually being unwell?

I think the issue is with booking that session time. Also, do you only have one car?

He isn't teaching him to swim, he goes swimming every Wednesday with school. They just mess about on the slides and in the splash zone. No learning to swim involved.

A) Can't you do something nice until they leave at 1?

B) Can't you do something nice with your daughter who is presumably also a person who enjoys to do nice things...

So do something lovely with your DD.
I'm assuming DS loves this activity and would be upset at this routine being disrupted because of you.

@YourNameGoesHere I don't mind it but it's just every single one. There are loads of places to walk round as a family here, we've got Whitby, Scarborough, loads of places we could go.
Instead I either stay home with DD or wander round Bridlington aimlessly with her in her pushchair.

Yes only 1 car

Is it that DH wanted you to stop working on Sunday so that he wasn't having to parent both kids alone, and now you've done so he can go off and do fun stuff with the eldest so he doesn't have to look after a toddler?