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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 29/10/2023 23:17

I'd probably refund her and never speak to her again, money well spent to see her show her true colours.

catbla2957 · 29/10/2023 23:18

Wait for her to ask. Will be hilarious

Overthebow · 29/10/2023 23:18

Wait until she realises then say you thought she had paid you extra to cover her half of the petrol.

junbean · 29/10/2023 23:18

I would wait patiently and see if I get an apology.

RicherThanYews · 29/10/2023 23:19

Don't pay for your sandwich if that's her attitude. Bloody hell mun. Does she not realise the cost of petrol? Anybody would offer to pay a little something towards petrol!

Autumnleaves89 · 29/10/2023 23:19

She’s really cheeky! I wouldn’t even reply, I am sure she will send you a message when she realises she’s sent you an extra hundred quid 😂

Totalwasteofpaper · 29/10/2023 23:20

Leave it and say nothing.
If she mentions it point out it covers the petrol ie she paid half.

Maybe send tenner back for the subway?

But ultimately never have anything to do with this woman again.

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

AutumnFroglets · 29/10/2023 23:21

Wait until she asks then match her sandwich outrage with your petrol outrage.

Blackalice · 29/10/2023 23:22

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

100% this.
Fo not refund, just send a tenner.

newfriend05 · 29/10/2023 23:22

I would be blocking her and keeping the cars £100 .. karma

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:22

Or just send her £10 for the Subway and say you're so sorry, overlooked it didn't mean to cause bad feeling. Then if she asks for another £90 back reply that you'd assumed that was to cover her half of petrol.

AutumnFroglets · 29/10/2023 23:22

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

The problem with that is OP paid the extra £16. Half of that is £8 so OP actually only owes £2.

This could get very petty 😂

funbags3 · 29/10/2023 23:24

As above, wait until she ask for it and say you thought it was for her share of the petrol. CF.

Lucanus · 29/10/2023 23:25

Sounds like she's accidentally paid you the right amount to be honest. £200 + £90 for fuel. Keep the money, ditch the friend. I wouldn't say anything unless she does first, in which case point out the petrol cost.

I thought the title was deliberate - makes sense to me!

Vinrouge4 · 29/10/2023 23:26

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

Perfect!

Fionaville · 29/10/2023 23:27

I'd have to do a reply explaining her mistake, just to see her squirm! And I'd definitely say you wasn't even going to mention the petrol, but now that's she's been such a minge bag with the subway, does she want to knock it off her half for the fuel!

Testina · 29/10/2023 23:27

You shouldn’t send the £10 for the Subway as she’s already deducted it. Just stay quiet. Much funnier to let her come to the realisation that she’s made a mistake after she’s been rude to you!

SM4713 · 29/10/2023 23:27

Do you see a friendship in the future after this person OP? I cannot image someone spending £180 on fuel and the other person NOT offering to contribute- regardless if you were doing the journey anyways. Its extra wear and tear on the car having a passenger.

I'd leave things to calm down and if/when she asks, say you thought the money was for petrol and pay her the £10 for the subway- then ignore. CF.

Passepartoute · 29/10/2023 23:29

Text to say "OK then, sorry, you must be right and I must have got the figures wrong" and leave it there.

Coyoacan · 29/10/2023 23:29

You know how much you value this friendship but I'm so glad she overpaid.

MintJulia · 29/10/2023 23:31

I'd leave it as it is. Nothing more needs to be said. Just avoid sharing costs in future.

HoHoHoliday · 29/10/2023 23:31

"I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong."

What makes you think this? Did she say herself that she meant to send £190 but got it wrong or have you assumed?
It looks to me as though you agreed £200 for half of the event/hotel and she's added another £90 for half of the petrol.
You've then complained, and implied that she should pay more, so she has argued back to point out she paid for your subway.
Sounds like a miscommunication to me.
But since she's aid you for her share of everything you should pay her for your subway.

Wolfen · 29/10/2023 23:32

I'd split everything, including petrol and the sandwich, and if she says anything list everything and tell her what her actual figure is.

Screamingabdabz · 29/10/2023 23:33

Never negotiate with terrorists or CF tight fisted wankers. I’d calmly respond by asking for a receipt for the subway and send her the exact amount including pence. But keep the £290. Petrol cost and wear/tear is not insignificant and karma is a bitch.

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