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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
suitsyoumissus · 30/10/2023 06:32

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

This is the best answer, and stand firm. You're going to lose a friend anyway, because she's really shown how much of a friend she is. I've just got back from a trip with a friend. I did all the driving, it was a long trip. We halved accommodation and fuel, she brought me several meals as thanks for driving.

Fififafa · 30/10/2023 06:37

Just seen your update. Can’t wait to see how she responds

DeepEnd · 30/10/2023 06:41

Sounds like huffiness and poor communication on both sides to me.

SapphosRock · 30/10/2023 06:41

Sounds like it was deliberate and she was going to put in £100 for fuel but deducted £10 for the subway

Then thought your message saying it was wrong meant you wanted more?

EveSix · 30/10/2023 06:42

What vehicle are you driving, OP, that uses £180 of fuel in one weekend? How much driving was involved? That is nuts.

happinessischocolate · 30/10/2023 06:49

*@Spyral
If OP's friend sent £290, how do you work out that the £10 has already been deducted?

Are you saying it should have been £300? And if so, why?*

Yep, I realised that after I posted. I'd even explained to myself why it should be £280 😂

are you a teacher? The "and if so why" reminded me of an exam question 😁

Morechocmorechoc · 30/10/2023 06:53

But it was 416, I'd be charging 208 considering her attitude. Split it properly. That covers the subway. Then charge the petrol! Cheeky sod

OMGitsnotgood · 30/10/2023 06:53

I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc

if that's verbatim what you said, maybe she thought you meant she hadn't sent enough, which is why she started on about the subway?
i can't imagine where you could have gone for a 2 night break that was £180 in fuel, you must have spent more time in the car than anything else.

happinessischocolate · 30/10/2023 06:55

SapphosRock · 30/10/2023 06:41

Sounds like it was deliberate and she was going to put in £100 for fuel but deducted £10 for the subway

Then thought your message saying it was wrong meant you wanted more?

Then surely she'd have been expecting a text message saying you've paid too much and been happy to explain why?

OP didn't ask for more money, she queried the amount being wrong. "That's not what we agreed"

Spyral · 30/10/2023 06:59

NoWordForFluffy · 30/10/2023 06:03

Lol indeed.

I was specifically referencing this part in your post: 'I thought it was fair to pay half the fuel and I think she is being a bit cheeky asking for more when I paid for her subway".

Then there would a queue of posters* *saying yes it's cheeky asking for more.'

In your fake post, the person sending the money said the OP was asking for more. She wasn't. She was querying the amount sent, which was £90 more than agreed. So she was querying why too much was sent. She never asked for more.

Unfortunately your comprehension has failed you again. I'm not the person who wrote the post you are referring to.

anon20 · 30/10/2023 07:02

Maybe she meant to pay you £290 and when you said it wasn't what you agreed she would think you wanted more, not less so I can see where she's coming from in that case. Yabu

Eddielizzard · 30/10/2023 07:02

Don't say anything, and if she wants her £90, it's her contribution to fuel

DuploTrain · 30/10/2023 07:04

Did she know how much you paid for petrol?

Whalewatchers · 30/10/2023 07:04

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said. I really hate mean and stingy people/behaviour.

lwishyouwould · 30/10/2023 07:06

I'd also wait for her to ask and then tell her you assumed it was her held or the

lwishyouwould · 30/10/2023 07:07

Sorry, pressed send...

Tell her you assumed it was her half of the fuel. Even if you weren't going to ask her for it, no way does she get it back now.

Spyral · 30/10/2023 07:13

happinessischocolate · 30/10/2023 06:49

*@Spyral
If OP's friend sent £290, how do you work out that the £10 has already been deducted?

Are you saying it should have been £300? And if so, why?*

Yep, I realised that after I posted. I'd even explained to myself why it should be £280 😂

are you a teacher? The "and if so why" reminded me of an exam question 😁

Yes, that's what had me a bit flummoxed - the fact that you'd gone through the whole £280 explanation thing!

And well deduced, I was a teacher, yes 😁 But I feel like the turn of phrase is just what comes naturally to me, rather than being influenced by 'teacher-y' stuff, haha.

Mumwithqs · 30/10/2023 07:14

I'm intrigued for her response

Noshowlomo · 30/10/2023 07:17

Another one here who thinks she’s added money for petrol. Do you definitely know she sent the extra £100 by mistake OP? It takes about 4 clicks to transfer money on my app, so I have to check a few times before sending.

BeetleDeuce · 30/10/2023 07:17

Your message was ambiguous.

But how did you spend so much in fuel??? Are you driving a tank?

Eddielizzard · 30/10/2023 07:17

Did stingy friend know you spent £416, in which case her share should be £208? And you paid petrol and she's still wingeing about your subway?!

I agree, she made a typo. Karma's a bitch

Annahh · 30/10/2023 07:18

F for an update 😂

BeetleDeuce · 30/10/2023 07:20

I don’t know why you didn’t just reply saying you were expecting less.

You said you didn’t expect her to pay for petrol, you said you had a lovely weekend, she’s obviously a really close friend - why make a drama out of this?

Beautiful3 · 30/10/2023 07:21

Looks like she added the petrol on? If just message back saying, okay thank you. If she asks for money back, just say I forgot about the fuel, so that actually covers your half, thanks.

dayswithaY · 30/10/2023 07:21

Keep the money and say nothing. It’s her fault for being unreasonable, the least she could do was buy you a sandwich after all that driving.