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Original poster

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Lulooo · 30/10/2023 07:21

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

This, definitely.

mLqpai · 30/10/2023 07:22

I would def wait for her to realise her mistake, funny

FannyBawz · 30/10/2023 07:22

I don’t think she made a mistake,‘I think your badly worded response made her think you were after more cash!

Jitterybugs · 30/10/2023 07:29

FannyBawz · 30/10/2023 07:22

I don’t think she made a mistake,‘I think your badly worded response made her think you were after more cash!

I was just about to say the same. I’ve interpreted it as miscommunication. Friend included extra for petrol, OP said that wasn’t amount she was expecting. Friend thinks OP suggesting that wasn’t enough money and in anger has said she also paid for the Subway 🤷‍♀️

Kwasi · 30/10/2023 07:29

Exactly this.

Couldyounot · 30/10/2023 07:30

HoHoHoliday · 29/10/2023 23:31

"I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong."

What makes you think this? Did she say herself that she meant to send £190 but got it wrong or have you assumed?
It looks to me as though you agreed £200 for half of the event/hotel and she's added another £90 for half of the petrol.
You've then complained, and implied that she should pay more, so she has argued back to point out she paid for your subway.
Sounds like a miscommunication to me.
But since she's aid you for her share of everything you should pay her for your subway.

This was how I read it. She's put across half the petrol money.

Off the point, but £180 in fuel for a weekend?? Either your car does about 15 mpg or you did about 1,100 miles 😯

Uniquuue · 30/10/2023 07:31

She's gonna be gutted when she realises.

trickortrickier · 30/10/2023 07:32

Yep, she included the petrol and expected a thank you for paying more than you'd agreed. Your response read like a criticism to a nice gesture. She was pissed off, as I would have been.

Gifflon · 30/10/2023 07:35

£90 x 2 for fuel must have been a lot of driving! About 1500 miles?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 30/10/2023 07:36

Here for the update 😂

rookiemere · 30/10/2023 07:38

I'm confused how friend is supposed to be stingy if she didn't know petrol wasn't included. If costs were being split 50/50 then of course she adds in her expense that was not included.

It seems like miscommunication to me on both sides, but mostly OPs.

I'd suggest in future you use an app such as splitwise to list everything - including petrol- and then it's a case of computer says x at the end of it.

Fukuraptor · 30/10/2023 07:41

I agree that it sounds like she would have sent £300 as her share of the trip, knocked £10 off for the subway and thought you were complaining it wasn't £300, rather than why it was more than £200.

If you had a good time together, don't let this misunderstanding wreck it.

Ibravedaflood · 30/10/2023 07:43

Ime the driver always gets the raw deal.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/10/2023 07:48

Just keep the money and text to say you'd forgotten about the sandwich so the money she's sent is correct.

RandomButtons · 30/10/2023 07:48

I’m also thinking she sent the extra £90 for fuel.

Either way you’re being pretty unfair to not just upfront say “it’s £200 for hotel and £90 for fuel” then bitch about it on social media when she’s paid you the full amount minus subway.

Stravaig · 30/10/2023 07:49

I'd have simply replied 'thank you'. That you didn't suggests there wasn't a clear agreement in place, and that you don't know how to have a direct conversation about it. So instead you were pre-emptively unhappy with an imaginary unfair split, thus your faux confused and over compensatory response. Your friend has interpreted this as a request for more money.

Fatcat00 · 30/10/2023 07:49

I don’t know if its because I’m ND but I read this as she knows she’s sent 290 but thinks you’re saying she’s sent the wrong amount (as in too little) and she’s already taken into account the petrol etc. am I getting this wrong?

Fatcat00 · 30/10/2023 07:50

Actually by you saying “not what we agreed” I’d have almost certainly thought you’d meant I’d sent too little

ShatteredPeace · 30/10/2023 07:51

Don't mention the £90. Your text to her was very general and she replied with a rant. She's going to be gutted when she realises what she's done and that's funnier. You're all square now assuming the same rules apply to petrol as sandwich so just leave it.

Suunnyd · 30/10/2023 07:51

IHateLegDay · 30/10/2023 00:11

Placemarking as I can't wait for her to realise 😂😂😂

Me too 😆

Woollymonster · 30/10/2023 07:54

Fatcat00
I read it the same way as you, and I see PP have also interpreted it this way.

I think you need to clarify things OP.

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 30/10/2023 07:54

Keep the £100, she owes you half for petrol.

Spyral · 30/10/2023 07:55

Jitterybugs · 30/10/2023 07:29

I was just about to say the same. I’ve interpreted it as miscommunication. Friend included extra for petrol, OP said that wasn’t amount she was expecting. Friend thinks OP suggesting that wasn’t enough money and in anger has said she also paid for the Subway 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

This is what I think has happened too.

Whatisforthebest · 30/10/2023 07:55

@NoWordForFluffy except she didn't query why there had been an extra £90 sent, she only stated that it wasn't the agreed amount followed by confused emojis. Now to one person receiving that it could read that as "I'm confused why you sent so much when I only asked for £200" but I'm hazarding a guess that the friend here that received it read it as "I'm confused why you've only sent £290"

That's the issue, the OP sent the initial response which, in her mind conveyed that she was confused why her friend had transferred £90 more than agreed however it seems like the friend has read it thinking she was looking for more money and is getting aggrieved that she thought she was doing the right thing by sending extra for fuel.

Pinotwoman82 · 30/10/2023 08:00

I definitely think she thought she was sending £190! It was agreed £200, and she took £10 off for your subway. When you sent your message she thought you were moaning about the missing £10 and flew off the handle. If she would have added extra for the petrol she would have made that clear. You were confused as it was £90 more than you thought and she thought your message meant she should have given you the extra £10