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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this card is inappropriate?

311 replies

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 20:54

Saw this in a supermarket the other day. I find it very distasteful and almost upsetting. Surely if we're condemning sexual violence, we're condemning all sexual violence? Rape jokes are not acceptable, so why is a card joking about serious sexual assault OK?

To think this card is inappropriate?
OP posts:
PinkLemons99 · 27/10/2023 20:57

Because it's not real....🤦🏻‍♀️

jedwardscissorhands27 · 27/10/2023 20:57

I don't like the card. I can't imagine an occasion where it would be appropriate to send it to someone.

However the message is along the same lines as the saying "stick it up your arse" which is crude but not offensive to me. I wouldn't associate it with rape anyway.

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 27/10/2023 20:58

Sexual assault? Not sure what's sexual about shoving a handle up someone's arse because they've annoyed you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2023 20:58

I don't like it and wouldn't buy it.

But joking about women sexually assaulting men isn't the same as male jokes about raping and sexually assaulting women. Because one is an epidemic and one is not. One is something that affects a huge number of women and the other is something that really doesn't affect men.

It's awful though, if that helps.

Hatty65 · 27/10/2023 20:58

You've never once wanted to ram something up the arse of a bloke offering unwanted, negative, patronising comments towards you?

You saint, you.

chipsahoy1 · 27/10/2023 20:58

It’s just a joke.

read it and move on

Sunshineclouds11 · 27/10/2023 20:59

It's not that deep

Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 27/10/2023 20:59

Really couldn’t get worked up about silly cards

BananaPalm · 27/10/2023 21:00

Seriously?! 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Autiebibliophile · 27/10/2023 21:00

It's awful and should not be accepted as normal

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:01

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2023 20:58

I don't like it and wouldn't buy it.

But joking about women sexually assaulting men isn't the same as male jokes about raping and sexually assaulting women. Because one is an epidemic and one is not. One is something that affects a huge number of women and the other is something that really doesn't affect men.

It's awful though, if that helps.

I know it's not the same and I had thought about including a comment about that. But the fact that they're not the same doesn't mean that joking about men being assaulted is OK - they're both wrong.

OP posts:
Toottooot · 27/10/2023 21:02

Wooptie fucking ping 💁🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:02

Hatty65 · 27/10/2023 20:58

You've never once wanted to ram something up the arse of a bloke offering unwanted, negative, patronising comments towards you?

You saint, you.

Never said that, and that is not what this post was about.

OP posts:
fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:03

Hatty65 · 27/10/2023 20:58

You've never once wanted to ram something up the arse of a bloke offering unwanted, negative, patronising comments towards you?

You saint, you.

You have? That's quite scary

StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:03

Doesn’t bother me one bit.

titchy · 27/10/2023 21:03

Autiebibliophile · 27/10/2023 21:00

It's awful and should not be accepted as normal

If shoving hoovers up arses was normal it wouldn't be a joke....

Don't like the card at all, but it's not joking about sexual assault. The balance of power is opposite to reality.

Now if you were cross about the fact that it's normalising women doing the hoovering you'd have a point...

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:04

PinkLemons99 · 27/10/2023 20:57

Because it's not real....🤦🏻‍♀️

No but it references something that does happen IRL. By your logic, a card making fun of a woman being raped is fine too?

OP posts:
fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:05

I agree OP. It's not on to make cards implying one party has inserted anything up another's anus without consent and then sell it in a national supermarket chain as a joke. Have you complained on twitter?

orangegato · 27/10/2023 21:05

What a first world problem, fuck me. Who has the brain space to be bothered by that.

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:06

Can't imagine who would look at that and think it makes a good card. It's got stereotypes of the woman doing the vacuuming and the bloke critiquing it and also the anal violence aspect

VeridicalVagabond · 27/10/2023 21:06

It's just shitty all around. That boring "oh ho ho old ball and chain it's funny because hating your spouse is normal and amusing" humour that just isn't funny.

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:06

orangegato · 27/10/2023 21:05

What a first world problem, fuck me. Who has the brain space to be bothered by that.

"First world" is an outdated and offensive term

StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:07

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:03

You have? That's quite scary

Show quote history

🙄

Haveyouanyjam · 27/10/2023 21:08

Agree.

Jokes are jokes and work only if they are not going to offend or belittle large swathes of the population. The likelihood of a man who had been sexually assaulted being triggered by this card is highly unlikely…there are a million other cards that are much more offensive and relate to actual epidemic societal issues.

LakeTiticaca · 27/10/2023 21:08

Some people seem determined to suck the rest of the remaining bit of humour out of life