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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this card is inappropriate?

311 replies

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 20:54

Saw this in a supermarket the other day. I find it very distasteful and almost upsetting. Surely if we're condemning sexual violence, we're condemning all sexual violence? Rape jokes are not acceptable, so why is a card joking about serious sexual assault OK?

To think this card is inappropriate?
OP posts:
Illbebythesea · 27/10/2023 21:20

I sort of get your point because if the sexes were reversed there would be outrage. Saying that it comes from years of suppression and women expected to clean and neat and tidy and do as a man says and it seems to be a bit of a ‘fuck you’ to that so I can’t get worked up.

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:20

itsmyp4rty · 27/10/2023 21:18

I mean if there had ever been a report of a man being sexually abused by a woman sticking a hoover handle up his arse I could maybe see your point. Otherwise no, it's just a stupid joke and what makes it a joke rather than offensive is that it is something that doesn't happen.

Do you think a man who had something else put up his arse without consent would see it that way.

OP posts:
Haveyouanyjam · 27/10/2023 21:21

No it’s a commentary on sexism…it’s not about assault. It’s about the fact that by and large society expect women to carry the domestic load and take sexist comments with a smile like a good girl.

It’s hardly high brow, but it’s not making a joke about assault.

Binkie98 · 27/10/2023 21:21

Shoving anything up anyone's arse without consent is sexual assault.

Oh, for goodness sake, it didn't happen! It's a card!!

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 21:21

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:09

It's not funny though there is no humour

Show quote history

I find it funny, as will many others.

missmollygreen · 27/10/2023 21:21

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2023 20:58

I don't like it and wouldn't buy it.

But joking about women sexually assaulting men isn't the same as male jokes about raping and sexually assaulting women. Because one is an epidemic and one is not. One is something that affects a huge number of women and the other is something that really doesn't affect men.

It's awful though, if that helps.

It is the same

HercuIesMorse · 27/10/2023 21:21

It's a joke op...

People joke about all sorts of less than ideal scenarios, it's humour. Fuck me, how boring would life be if we had to check if anyone was offended before making jokes

ItsmeImtheproblem200 · 27/10/2023 21:22

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 27/10/2023 20:58

Sexual assault? Not sure what's sexual about shoving a handle up someone's arse because they've annoyed you.

What???? Lol

mrsDracoMalfoy · 27/10/2023 21:22

Sunshineclouds11 · 27/10/2023 20:59

It's not that deep

That's not what the a&e dr said 🤣

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:23

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 21:19

Wear a helmet whenever you set foot outside your comfort zone. Better still, I suggest you don't get out of bed. Ever. This way it's less likely you'll ever be offended or upset by something like a greetings card. FFS.

Why the need to be so snide? You disagree, fine. No need to be rude!

OP posts:
AuroraForever · 27/10/2023 21:23

You said you saw it ‘the other day’ so how many days exactly have you actually sat there with a picture of the ‘offensive’ card on your phone? How many times have you looked at it? Thought about it? Exactly how much time have you wasted thinking about the best way to compose a thread about it on here? What an epic and tragic waste of your time over something that is nothing more than a visual representation of a woman saying to a man ‘shove it up your arse’. Jesus fucking wept. Get a fucking life.

SamAndEIIa · 27/10/2023 21:23

It’s almost misogynistic to suggest that a woman getting frustrated about her husband criticising her home keeping ability and suggesting that he shoves the hoover up his arse is a commentary on female on male sexual assault rather than a commentary on gender roles.

MrsJPinkman · 27/10/2023 21:24

Oh ffs 😂

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 21:25

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:23

Why the need to be so snide? You disagree, fine. No need to be rude!

Show quote history

Stop being so bloody precious and grow up!

Jewelspun · 27/10/2023 21:25

Jesus wept.

A bloody card!

Please find something real to get upset/offended about.

AllAboardTootToot · 27/10/2023 21:26

Wee oooo, weee oooo, snowflake police have arrived!

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:26

HercuIesMorse · 27/10/2023 21:20

This. Lighten up.

Might not be funny to you but did this really require a thread?

Show quote history

Are there criteria for what does and does not require a thread now? I also often come across threads where I don't see the point. I don't post on them to tell the OP it's not worthy of a thread. This bothered me, I was interested to see whether others agreed, so I started a thread. End of.

OP posts:
Mother87 · 27/10/2023 21:28

Sunshineclouds11 · 27/10/2023 20:59

It's not that deep

Pun intended?Grin

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:30

AuroraForever · 27/10/2023 21:23

You said you saw it ‘the other day’ so how many days exactly have you actually sat there with a picture of the ‘offensive’ card on your phone? How many times have you looked at it? Thought about it? Exactly how much time have you wasted thinking about the best way to compose a thread about it on here? What an epic and tragic waste of your time over something that is nothing more than a visual representation of a woman saying to a man ‘shove it up your arse’. Jesus fucking wept. Get a fucking life.

I saw it on Wednesday. Since then I have been at work. It's now Friday evening, I thought of the card again and spent appr 3 minutes composing a thread. Not entirely sure how that counts as an "epic and tragic waste of time" when you've spent just as much time writing a snarky comment to insult me😊

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 27/10/2023 21:30

Pun intended?

Yes 😂

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:31

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 21:25

Stop being so bloody precious and grow up!

Show quote history

Because being rude to strangers on the internet is the mature thing to do you mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:32

AllAboardTootToot · 27/10/2023 21:26

Wee oooo, weee oooo, snowflake police have arrived!

Thanks for the putdown. We clearly have different standards.

OP posts:
CountZacular · 27/10/2023 21:32

Is there an epidemic problem of men having items shoved up their arses by women they’ve offended without consent?

Is there an epidemic of sexist behaviour of men towards women (particular in instances like this?).

It’s a joke because it retaliates to the actual expectation and belittlement of women by men. That part (the criticising) happens everywhere. The retaliation of shoving a hoover up a man’s arse happens precisely nowhere.

It’s completely tasteless and not funny, but why is the part that doesn’t actually happen is real life the issue with you? Why aren’t you criticising the fact that jokes are still being made about women expected to do all the housework?

Illbebythesea · 27/10/2023 21:32

I do like the fact OP is biting back, quickly. I do like a fiery OP! 🤣 stand for what you believe in 💪🏻 (no sarcasm)

Superduper02 · 27/10/2023 21:32

Very crude message. Doesn't personally offend but more inappropriate because it's in a supermarket and people of all ages could come across it.

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