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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this card is inappropriate?

311 replies

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 20:54

Saw this in a supermarket the other day. I find it very distasteful and almost upsetting. Surely if we're condemning sexual violence, we're condemning all sexual violence? Rape jokes are not acceptable, so why is a card joking about serious sexual assault OK?

To think this card is inappropriate?
OP posts:
Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:08

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 27/10/2023 20:58

Sexual assault? Not sure what's sexual about shoving a handle up someone's arse because they've annoyed you.

Definition from the Met Police

To think this card is inappropriate?
OP posts:
fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:09

LakeTiticaca · 27/10/2023 21:08

Some people seem determined to suck the rest of the remaining bit of humour out of life

It's not funny though there is no humour

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:10

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:05

I agree OP. It's not on to make cards implying one party has inserted anything up another's anus without consent and then sell it in a national supermarket chain as a joke. Have you complained on twitter?

I can't quite work out if you're being genuine or sarcastic? I don't really use Twitter FWIW

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:11

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:05

I agree OP. It's not on to make cards implying one party has inserted anything up another's anus without consent and then sell it in a national supermarket chain as a joke. Have you complained on twitter?

🤣 honestly, complain on twitter! Embarrassing! It’s a card, don’t buy it. It didn’t actually happen!

jedwardscissorhands27 · 27/10/2023 21:11

Humour is subjective. I don't find it funny but some people will.

It isn't about sexual violence. At all.

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:12

orangegato · 27/10/2023 21:05

What a first world problem, fuck me. Who has the brain space to be bothered by that.

Anyone who thinks sexual assault is not something to make jokes about. Can you imagine being a bloke who was raped or sexually assaulted and seeing that? And we wonder why men are reluctant to speak out about being the victims of sexual assault?

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 27/10/2023 21:13

I think it's tasteless and tacky and if someone bought it for me it would go straight in the bin.

But @MrsTerryPratchett is right that a (bad taste) joke about a woman assaulting a man is in no way comparable with the scale of actual violence perpetrated on women by men.

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:13

titchy · 27/10/2023 21:03

If shoving hoovers up arses was normal it wouldn't be a joke....

Don't like the card at all, but it's not joking about sexual assault. The balance of power is opposite to reality.

Now if you were cross about the fact that it's normalising women doing the hoovering you'd have a point...

Show quote history

Shoving anything up anyone's arse without consent is sexual assault.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:14

jedwardscissorhands27 · 27/10/2023 21:11

Humour is subjective. I don't find it funny but some people will.

It isn't about sexual violence. At all.

It is though - see the definition of sexual assault I posted above.

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:15

LakeTiticaca · 27/10/2023 21:08

Some people seem determined to suck the rest of the remaining bit of humour out of life

Totally agree with this. Life is just so utterly serious & ridiculous now!

jedwardscissorhands27 · 27/10/2023 21:15

If I tell my dh to stick something up his arse because he's annoying me I don't mean it literally!

The same as if I said go boil your head I wouldn't actually expect him to turn the kettle on.

It's a metaphor/figure of speech. That's all.

SamAndEIIa · 27/10/2023 21:15

Sunshineclouds11 · 27/10/2023 20:59

It's not that deep

Sounds like it was quite deep indeed tbh.

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:17

jedwardscissorhands27 · 27/10/2023 21:15

If I tell my dh to stick something up his arse because he's annoying me I don't mean it literally!

The same as if I said go boil your head I wouldn't actually expect him to turn the kettle on.

It's a metaphor/figure of speech. That's all.

The scenario you describe is a metaphor, yes. The scenario on the card is not.

OP posts:
Piggybank36 · 27/10/2023 21:17

I think some people need the stick removed from their arse.

StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:17

Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:13

Shoving anything up anyone's arse without consent is sexual assault.

Show quote history

it doesn’t say on the card whether the guy consented🤣

I know this will get deleted🤣

SillyAutomatic · 27/10/2023 21:17

I don't think it's remotely funny, any more than I found it funny when some random asked me if DH "deserved it" when he had his arm in plaster recently. As it happens, DH has been the victim of DV and SA, so we don't find such things a laughing matter given the way it's affected his life.

StarDolphins · 27/10/2023 21:18

SamAndEIIa · 27/10/2023 21:15

Sounds like it was quite deep indeed tbh.

Show quote history

🤣

Fionaville · 27/10/2023 21:18

I wouldn't buy it, I don't think it's funny (but then, most cards aren't) I don't find it offensive.

SamAndEIIa · 27/10/2023 21:18

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 21:09

It's not funny though there is no humour

Show quote history

You can’t say something is not humour.

You might not find it funny; but others will. And obviously people do; because they made a card about it.

I don’t personally find it funny, but I’m also not offended by it.

itsmyp4rty · 27/10/2023 21:18

I mean if there had ever been a report of a man being sexually abused by a woman sticking a hoover handle up his arse I could maybe see your point. Otherwise no, it's just a stupid joke and what makes it a joke rather than offensive is that it is something that doesn't happen.

Original poster
Hexandthecity · 27/10/2023 21:18

Haveyouanyjam · 27/10/2023 21:08

Agree.

Jokes are jokes and work only if they are not going to offend or belittle large swathes of the population. The likelihood of a man who had been sexually assaulted being triggered by this card is highly unlikely…there are a million other cards that are much more offensive and relate to actual epidemic societal issues.

Think you might need to edit this for clarity?

OP posts:
Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 27/10/2023 21:19

Ffs

Binkie98 · 27/10/2023 21:19

I think it's quite funny.

HootyMcBoob · 27/10/2023 21:19

Wear a helmet whenever you set foot outside your comfort zone. Better still, I suggest you don't get out of bed. Ever. This way it's less likely you'll ever be offended or upset by something like a greetings card. FFS.

HercuIesMorse · 27/10/2023 21:20

itsmyp4rty · 27/10/2023 21:18

I mean if there had ever been a report of a man being sexually abused by a woman sticking a hoover handle up his arse I could maybe see your point. Otherwise no, it's just a stupid joke and what makes it a joke rather than offensive is that it is something that doesn't happen.

This. Lighten up.

Might not be funny to you but did this really require a thread?

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