Page 19 | Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

TheMadHattter · 2023-10-26T14:28:49+00:00

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night. I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either. I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

Canuck48 · 29/10/2023 04:04

I would have stayed in the group chat to see what they said and post pics of how you left your area. Mainly to defend yourself and get money from the chancers who stayed the second night without paying!!!

MeridianB · 29/10/2023 07:31

You said you were giving the bride a lift this morning. Did she have a good time? Was she oblivious to everything?

Emotionalsupportviper · 29/10/2023 08:40

TheMadHattter · 28/10/2023 22:03

Update.

We left at 8.30am after tidying up everything that could conceivably be linked to us. We did take photos! Thanks for the tip, I would never of thought to do that. The place still looks awful, feel really bad for the Airbnb host. I'm not quite sure who stayed over in the end (we went to bed early to secure our room) but there was a big pile of people still asleep in the lounge when we left. I will 100% not be contributing to any breakages/ additional cleaning fees. Home with hubby and baby now so feeling much better. Also left the hen do WhatsApp group as soon as I got in which felt like a good purge. Thanks for all the support ❤️

Please say that you took photos of the 000's of extra "sleeper-overers" as well!

A threat to put that onto social media would shut up any talk of "We want extra money".

The owner is earning money, whilst not having to live with all the disruption of a different group of stags or hens next door every week - makes me so cross!

Good pint @GreigeO

Years ago we rented a holiday let in Whitby which was just an ordinary cottage on an ordianry street, and the guy next door, who lived there commented on what a change it was to have decent neighbours.

He said he and others there never knew from one day to the next who they'd be living next to, that there was usually a lot of noise, that his motorbike had been damaged . (This was how I got talking to him - he had a classic British bike - a Vincent IIRC - and I made an admiring comment.)

He said that as the cottages came up for sale they were being bought up by "buy-to-letters" who were pricing locals out of the market. Some people like me, My Viper, and our hundred-year-old dog were fine, but mostly it was single-sex groups out on the lash and they caused a lot of problems. It was one of those tiny fisherman's cottages which front straight onto a little enclosed square and have only the one entrance. He had to leave his bike outside as there was nowhere else. He kept it covered, but of course that didn't stop drunken tw@ts mucking about.

Until I spoke to him it had never even occurred to me to think about what it must be like to have different people coming and going. You could see which ones were still privately owned because the fronts were beautiful - window boxes, tubs etc. The others were just . . . fronts.

Eddielizzard · 29/10/2023 09:30

Well navigated. What a shit show. Poor neighbours too. I've been the house with the airB&B next door. It was a total nightmare.

Lemonyfuckit · 29/10/2023 09:32

Yep they're definitely cheeky fuckers. It's tricky OP as I would be tempted to say something but obviously wouldn't want to upset the bride.

ThereIbledit · 29/10/2023 13:12

Thank you for the final update. I'm glad you escaped relatively unharmed!

Scottishskifun · 29/10/2023 13:52

You have handled it well OP and probably find MOH is now scrabbling with additional fees!

I must say I'm amazed that 28 year old ish women behaved so abysmally! I went to many a hen do between 24 and 30 never once did we leave someone cold, try to take a room or leave a mess in accommodation!

whynotwhatknot · 29/10/2023 18:46

i wondered if the two that got a refund stayed in the end

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 19:22

This thread is very long, but I really need to know… how many people actually used the house in total? Can someone pls just say the number?

itsgettingweird · 29/10/2023 20:24

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 19:22

This thread is very long, but I really need to know… how many people actually used the house in total? Can someone pls just say the number?

You sound like you think you may be the owner of this property and need this information for billing purposes 🤣

Morechocmorechoc · 29/10/2023 20:44

Wow, got to love people

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

ClareBlue · 29/10/2023 20:53

Nobody actually knows. The OP hasn't posted a number.

ImustLearn2Cook · 29/10/2023 21:21

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

You don’t have to read the entire thread. You just need to read the original poster’s comments.

Look at the original post. Click on see all. It will show you the original poster’s replies. She has only written 9 replies throughout the entire thread.

It won’t take you that long to read her 9 replies. 🙄

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:09

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

OP posts:

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 22:15

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:09

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

Show quote history

Had you already paid the extra to MOH?

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:16

MeridianB · 29/10/2023 07:31

You said you were giving the bride a lift this morning. Did she have a good time? Was she oblivious to everything?

Yer I think she had a good time. One awkward moment in the car ride home - she asked me what I thought of her friends as she was worried about me meeting them as she had found my friends at my hen 'really grown up' and 'posh'. I was really shocked by this as I just think my friends are pretty normal (I guess everyone thinks they're normal). I was a bit speechless and kind of bottled it and just said I thought they were a bit wild for me.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:18

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 22:15

Had you already paid the extra to MOH?

Show quote history

Yer I had. MOH said she had already refunded friends so she was out of pocket 🫤

OP posts:

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 23:03

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:18

Yer I had. MOH said she had already refunded friends so she was out of pocket 🫤

Show quote history

So the refund people stayed two nights after all? (So one free night)

Plus extra random people stayed who had brought an air bed and paid zero.

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 23:14

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 23:03

So the refund people stayed two nights after all? (So one free night)

Plus extra random people stayed who had brought an air bed and paid zero.

Show quote history

Yes exactly. I know I got shafted but I just don't want to talk to any of them again, I'd rather lose the money.

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 29/10/2023 23:22

I was a bit speechless and kind of bottled it and just said I thought they were a bit wild for me.

Very tactful. Is she much younger than you?

itsgettingweird · 30/10/2023 04:13

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

No one knows I don't think.

I can figure out 7 we're going for 2 nights?

2 pulled out of second night.

2? Came for the day with an air bed?

So maybe 9 stayed 2nd night in total if CF didn't go home and I got original number correct?! 🤪

itsgettingweird · 30/10/2023 04:14

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

See - I was wrong 🤣🤣

Strictlymad · 30/10/2023 06:53

OP you’ve been a class act, I’m not sure I would have handled it so well, you remained tactful and don’t stoop to their level and the bride is very lucky to have you! I admit I’ve been loving this thread (at your expense!) and checking for your updates! I’m now itching to know why came of the Airbnb and any charges. I’m petty so I would have ghosted the WhatsApp chat and enjoyed with my popcorn!

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/10/2023 08:38

I’m petty so I would have ghosted the WhatsApp chat and enjoyed with my popcorn!

I'm not on WhatsApp, and am old and also technologically inept, but if "ghosted" means that I could watch something going on without anyone knowing I was there, my word I would do that!

Bearing in mind that "people who eavesdrop never hear good of themselves" though, I'd have to steel myself because they would all be complaining about me only drinking gin and bovril and going to bed at 8.00 clock. or whatever.

But then I would pop up and very publicly say ""WHERE IS MY MONEY? GIVE ME MY MONEY!" just for the hell of it.

However, I think that @TheMadHattter has behaved in the best way - sometimes being grown up about things is best in the long run.

I find it hard to take the "This is personal" out of the equation, and stand back and think "What is going to give me the best relationship with this person, who I like very much ?" and go from there.

After all OP doesn't ever need to see the bride's horrible friends ever again, but she will need to have a good relationship with the bride who is a family member (I think).