Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

[TheMadHattter]

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

When it comes to the wedding I suggest after the meal you greet the CF's, mention how pleased you are to have a nice seat at the reception as you had been worried they might have replaced it with a broken deck chair, tinkly laugh and move on.

That's an excellent point

Think I agree with this

As much as it would be pain me regards the cost it feels a little like MOH has sneakily arranged an almost fringe party for bride and her mates

I'd find it very hard to spend time with such piss taking women

But is the bride really oblivious?

Aaah but according to lots of MNers these over priced hen parties are the best thing ever and by not going you are missing out on life changing female bonding and will be perceived as miserable by Everyone Who Goes To The Wedding

But agree OP your patience and calm in this is epic

Doubt we'll get an update for a while as OP was driving home at 8 and may have quite a way to travel?

However - like others - that's what I'm here for 🤣

YANBU, but I wouldn't rock the boat and upset the bride if you've already aggreed to pay extra.
Maybe change the sheets around if that's better (I am very aware you shouldn't have to!)
You will see these people at the wedding and then never again.
I also think whoever did the booking shouldn't have chosen a place with a pull out bed in the first place...

I hope you took photos of your clean room OP as I think there may be an extra charge coming the group's way...

And presumably you had to take annual leave to attend this shit show …

Absolutely under no circumstance, should the original ‘two becomes one nighters’ have been allowed to pay less.
Their decision to not stay doesn’t mean they don’t pay. It’s not fair to expect others to foot their share. They sound like complete twunts imo!

I would definitely be charging the chancers to stay if they decide they are staying over.

Liberty takers

Panicked when I could find this thread and thought it might have vanished. Il wait patiently for the update!

This is the reason I decline all invites that involve overnight stays.
Didn’t go to my brothers wives hendo because the MOH was organising a big lavish 3 nights a way which was costing hundreds…. Me and my sis both declined the invite saying we simply could afford that much or that much time away (we were also expected to cover the brides cost)… I guess us two saying no thanks
made it too expensive for the others as they ended up doing something else and we weren’t invited to that!

Persons get restricted by their friends. If they wanted to stay somewhere else for their own privacy then okay. Should a person be told by others that they need to use a folding bed when everyone else is accommodate. Do friends need the whole group to happy

We need more hen invitees to stand their ground like you did @T1Dmama, then maybe we wouldn't get these ridiculous expense fest hen dos - but then mumsnet hen do threads would be less interesting.

@TheMadHattter if the MOH asks for a contribution towards cleaning costs please stand your ground and say that the extra you paid to cover the CFs will cover it.

I need an update

@TheMadHattter - have you made it home yet? Did you take photos of the place as you were cleaning up after yourselves? Hope the second night was a bit more comfortable than the first and that you're back home and hopefully sleeping off the effects of the hen do in your own comfortable bed!

Hahaha....Exactly this!!!

I haven't finished reading yet so don't know if OP has updated any more, but I'd go against the grain here and go straight to the bride about all this! Bypass the CFs and MOH entirely. I think it's admirable that you don't want to cause her stress but by this point the tension must surely be noticeable. And if I were the bride I'd be absolutely horrified at how some of my friends were choosing to treat the others.

It can be a bit awkward when someone has multiple separate friendship groups that are brought together for a party like this. But this goes way beyond awkward and they are being actively hostile to you. I wouldn't be surprised if they were all acting up like this in an effort to actually get you to just leave so they have bride to themselves. It's shocking behaviour from grown women. I've been to many hens where separate friendship groups come together to celebrate the bride. Often it was the first time we'd met each other but we all got on and got to know each other because we're all bloody nice and decent people who aren't possessive cunts like these women seem to be. You must get on with the bride if you're there, and if you're there then she wanted you there regardless of what her friends want. Tell her what they're doing and how they've been treating you. I'd be livid.

The booze situation is also nonsensical to me. Surely everyone brings a few bottles and everyone shares them around? You don't have one woman buying out the tesco liquor aisle and then CHARGING other guests to drink at a party??? I'd hate to be friends with anyone like these women, what awful people they are

Imo the general horror of hen do’s is just yet another side-effects of the toxicity of the patriarchal structure called “marriage” and “weddings”.

More like the toxicity of social media and one-upmanship.

@Goldfishonabike erm... I'm all for standing up against the patriarchy but it's important to recognise women are just as capable of being awful as men (albeit usually in different ways). i actually find it quite misogynistic to blame the patriarchy for bitchy behaviour by a group of women. I would imagine such CF's behave like this all the time and it has nothing to do with the fact that this was a wedding related event

@TheEternalForever read the rest of the OP's updates, it's gloriously awful!

I was going to say something similar.

While a really good trip is enjoyable, it's the bliddy awful ones that you can laugh about eventually for years to come.

I would't be able to stop myself telling everyone at the wedding reception, TBH, and pointing them all out. (If they see you doing this, just give a cheery wave! )

Edited to add a "y" to "years" as I missed it off - though "ears" would work too, in a strange, slightly surreal, fashion.

If they want the best room, they pay their full, and previously agreed, share regardless of going home early, or fold up and reduced rate. Cheeky fuckers. I'm very annoyed with them on your behalf. I'd probably done what you're doing TBH, for the Bride's sake and only hers. Good luck.

@ThereIbledit

I've now caught up!! Just kept getting worse and worse didn't it 😂