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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
oOiluvfriendsOo · 28/10/2023 14:36

The ones pulling out of 2nd night should be the ones sucking it up.
No way the others should be paying extra to reimburse them. You've been had....xx

OVienna · 28/10/2023 14:44

TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 22:58

No it was really weird! We went in to get changed and they were just standing in there looking at our stuff. We clearly made them jump and they said they were just using the loo but seemed really shifty. No official word about them staying but I don't really see how they'd even get home now and obviously we know they brought an air mattress

Show quote history

Unbelievable! Shock

Silvers11 · 28/10/2023 14:47

@TheMadHattter - I do hope you are home now and that you did manage to get the room last night. Like others, hoping it went well and hoping you will give us an update to let us know how it went

Lattims83 · 28/10/2023 16:19

The fact that they pulled out, knowing the costs wouldn't change and expected everyone else to cover their portion shows what kind of people they are. When you agreed to pay the extra you already knew what kind of people they were so shouldn't be too surprised that they also took the good room. I would have said something initially and not agreed to cover their share, they are the bride's friends she can deal with the fact that they suck. Now it seems you have no choice but to deal with it all but I would have to say something. Maybe when everyone else is out you can move their stuff out of the room and claim it for yourself. If they cause a problem, In front of everyone say "you pulled out at the last minute causing the rest of us to have to cover your cost and you have the balls to also take the better room you did not contribute fully to? Nope. Fuck off, you get the sofa."

fetchacloth · 28/10/2023 17:36

Gazelda · 27/10/2023 23:39

I hope you have an enjoyable evening and a restful, comfortable nights sleep.

When you're back home, please please please contact the MOH to outline how shabbily you've been treated and how disappointed you are that she's allowed you to be treated this way, charged for the privilege and watched others in the party take the absolute piss out of you.

Yes, I think this is the best advice really OP, and don't budge an inch.

Having read through this thread I'm appalled at the cheeky fuckery of some of these girls. OP has far more patience than I would have had in these circumstances.
FWIW I think MOH has been far too lenient and really should have been more assertive from the start which may have prevented some of the behaviour.
It's a poor show when you have to "cuckoo" your own accommodation and have the privilege of paying extra for it too.😒

MrsT8686 · 28/10/2023 19:14

Absolutely agree !!!! Cheeky bastards . There suitcases would be out the window not the room. I honestly can't believe the cheek of some people¡!!

ObsidianGrape · 28/10/2023 20:13

Any update OP?

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 28/10/2023 22:03

Update.

We left at 8.30am after tidying up everything that could conceivably be linked to us. We did take photos! Thanks for the tip, I would never of thought to do that. The place still looks awful, feel really bad for the Airbnb host. I'm not quite sure who stayed over in the end (we went to bed early to secure our room) but there was a big pile of people still asleep in the lounge when we left. I will 100% not be contributing to any breakages/ additional cleaning fees. Home with hubby and baby now so feeling much better. Also left the hen do WhatsApp group as soon as I got in which felt like a good purge. Thanks for all the support ❤️

OP posts:
Messymummy84 · 28/10/2023 22:06

You’re a good friend to the bride to say nothing- so far- but I think that’s really cheeky of the one nighters!! Can’t believe they would be so oblivious. Show them this thread!

khlomoney · 28/10/2023 22:20

I know hen dos have a reputation but I’m surprised that multiple people were passing out and throwing up etc - every hen do I’ve been on has been mundane in comparison. was the main activity of the hen party to stay at the air bnb, what night out was planned and was it missed? Why weren’t there enough rooms for everyone

nettie434 · 28/10/2023 22:36

I think your response was pragmatic and flexible. Nice to think you won't have any CF's trying to pinch your bed tonight!

The bride is lucky to have you and SIL.

therealcookiemonster · 28/10/2023 22:48

@TheMadHattter glad you made it back in one piece! and lets hope there in no more cheeky fuckery at the wedding! in your position OP, I would ask for this thread to be deleted to avoid the risk of being picked up by one of the tabloid rags. and kudos to you for being much much nicer than most people would have been in the circumstances.

GreigeO · 28/10/2023 22:56

Don’t feel bad for the air b&b host if the place is a tip.

I live next to an air b&b party house and the more headaches guests cause for the owners the better in my opinion. I’ve hoped they’ve trashed the place.

The owner is earning money, whilst not having to live with all the disruption of a different group of stags or hens next door every week - makes me so cross!

Jacesmum1977 · 28/10/2023 22:56

Much respect to you OP.
I think you handled this really well.
Someone mentioned they’ve been checking for updates all day, as have I lol
Hope you’re having a blissful evening and look forward to the wedding day thread 😃😉👌🏻

SequentialAnalyst · 28/10/2023 23:04

Phew!
Though I have to say if it was me I might not have actually left the WhatsApp group. I might have just not posted, and hoped the others forgot I was even in the group. (And reported the ensuing fun on hereGrin) But then, I am old and wicked and cunning...

winewolfhowls · 28/10/2023 23:06

Brilliantly handled. I look forward to the inevitable wedding day thread!

PrincessFiorimonde · 28/10/2023 23:13

Good to hear you're safely home, OP. And good to know you definitely won't be contributing to any breakage/additional cleaning charge, if that becomes a thing.

As others have said, I guess this whole mad experience will be something you and SIL will look back on and laugh about in years to come.

Hope you and your family enjoy the wedding, when that rolls round Flowers

JFT · 28/10/2023 23:14

TheMadHattter · 28/10/2023 22:03

Update.

We left at 8.30am after tidying up everything that could conceivably be linked to us. We did take photos! Thanks for the tip, I would never of thought to do that. The place still looks awful, feel really bad for the Airbnb host. I'm not quite sure who stayed over in the end (we went to bed early to secure our room) but there was a big pile of people still asleep in the lounge when we left. I will 100% not be contributing to any breakages/ additional cleaning fees. Home with hubby and baby now so feeling much better. Also left the hen do WhatsApp group as soon as I got in which felt like a good purge. Thanks for all the support ❤️

You've handled this situation immaculately and graciously. Far more than anything I could manage.

Well done surviving and top work getting the photos.

I've never been to a hen weekend and sure as heck I will never!

localnotail · 28/10/2023 23:15

I find it really odd that "lovely" bride has such a nasty bunch of friends. How does this work? I thought you are basically defined by the company you keep.

billy1966 · 28/10/2023 23:22

localnotail · 28/10/2023 23:15

I find it really odd that "lovely" bride has such a nasty bunch of friends. How does this work? I thought you are basically defined by the company you keep.

I completely agree with you.

Only on MN do you come across a" lovely bride" somehow having such a large group of wasters as friends🤔

RampantIvy · 28/10/2023 23:25

localnotail · 28/10/2023 23:15

I find it really odd that "lovely" bride has such a nasty bunch of friends. How does this work? I thought you are basically defined by the company you keep.

So do I. I wonder what the bride thought of her friends' behaviour? I also wonder if the wedding guest list is going to be trimmed.

@TheMadHattter this has to be one of the most satisfying updates on a thread. I hope you sleep well tonight.

fetchacloth · 28/10/2023 23:34

Well done OP 👏 glad you managed to escape the carnage.
I think you've been a tower of strength throughout all of this 😊

Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 23:53

Leaving the group- chef kiss! Well done.

Screamingabdabz · 29/10/2023 00:09

Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 23:53

Leaving the group- chef kiss! Well done.

Absolutely. You left with your dignity and integrity intact op. Well done. Although I can’t wait to hear about the actual wedding now - you realise your name will be mud now?!!! 😂

khlomoney · 29/10/2023 00:12

I have a feeling that the other participants will have a lot to say about op leaving the group chat, people are funny about things like that