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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
MermaidMummy06 · 28/10/2023 01:57

These threads make me feel less terrible I have never been invited on a hens trip.

OP, don't pay the extra. Point out you had no bed or bedding the first night & had to pay full price, whereas people stayed the second night for free, and still tried to take over your bedroom. They could make up the shortfall. I think you're just easy targets as the 'outsiders' instead of part of the friend group.

Make sure you put your stuff on the bed, (including underwear!) so the room can't be claimed as 'they didn't know...'.

Dutiful · 28/10/2023 03:02

Where is the MoH? Is she not taking responsibility for who sleeps where?

SequentialAnalyst · 28/10/2023 03:37

This situation crops up on MN more often than perhaps one might expect.

You will dine out on this story for years, trust meGrin Everyone like a good Cheeky Fucker story. All the best, OP BrewBrew

Darlingx · 28/10/2023 04:27

Reminds me of the Bingo scene on Hen night in ‘Pulling’ Where the one who gets full house wants to pull out early with all the takings and they all want to go home early to save money on babysitters. Tania grabs the winnings and calls it a free bar in the club . Bride decides in the thrall of such partying that she in fact doesn’t want to get married after all 😂don’t get me started on the never ending pint glass . Its a show about the bare arsed cheek of CF ery so funny. As everyone says u r perfectly within your rights to stand up to this piss take.

Bangbangchittychitty · 28/10/2023 04:33

This has to be one of the best CF thread. Following. Can't wait to see how unfolds
OP you seem very kind and caring person, CF have really thick skin so don't hesitate to say your piece. MOH should know what is happening. If I were the bride I'd be mortified by my friends behaviour.

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 28/10/2023 05:10

This is why I cannot abide hen weekends. A night is fine but I just don’t want to spend my precious time with randoms, there is always someone selfish and annoying who takes the piss and has no social graces. I just refuse to pay hundreds of pounds for the ’pleasure’ of their company.

YANBU.

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2023 05:27

Betting that Airbed Fuckers came on the understanding that 1 Night Refund fuckers would give them their room IF they went home, and if they didn't go home, Airbed Fuckers had the airbed just in case.

Ukrainebaby23 · 28/10/2023 06:21

Think I'd be feeling grateful brides friends aren't your 'friends'. Cfs big style.

FerretFarago · 28/10/2023 06:30

Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 00:00

Take pictures of the room!

we had a similar situation at a 40th. We left early, left our room spotless and blitzed the kitchen. (The sitting room was a bomb site with bodies strewn)! Left at 10am and at 2pm got a ranty text from organiser how we’d left them in the shit the room was a mess. Blah blah. We sent the pics of the rooms cleaned with us in them in cleaning! No more was mentioned. CFs.

they were being fined by the hosts and wanted to squeeze us for money. Bastards.

This (MOH has no shame)

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 28/10/2023 07:11

OP you are angelic to put up with this for your STBDSIL. Just make sure you give her friends a wide berth in future. I'd probably, well post wedding, let her know what cows they were to you.

BastardtheCat · 28/10/2023 07:52

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2023 05:27

Betting that Airbed Fuckers came on the understanding that 1 Night Refund fuckers would give them their room IF they went home, and if they didn't go home, Airbed Fuckers had the airbed just in case.

Agreed.

Refuse to pay the extra though OP.

JollyJolene · 28/10/2023 08:07

Oh OP, I hope the night went without a hitch and no cuckoos came to roost.

LylaLee · 28/10/2023 08:11

Had you already paid the extra cash before going?

Canuck48 · 28/10/2023 08:14

I tried to Google but no luck, can someone explain the Cuckoo comment re the room?

I am also eagerly awaiting an update as to the air mattress hens and how cheeky they were. I also suspect they were told by someone, the other CF or maybe even the MOH, that they could have the room.

Either way, they need to pay, if they say they had no room/bed, neither did you the first night so that is not a valid argument. The MOH needs to contact the host re the broken pull out bed and no extra bedding. If she won’t, ask for a copy of the bill and just state you need it for your taxes or some other excuse. See how much she fleeced you all for.

I hope you had fun despite all of the fuckery.

Canuck48 · 28/10/2023 08:15

PS I also agree re taking pics of how you left the space you used so you can’t be accused of leaving a mess. They seem like a spiteful bunch.

BodegaSushi · 28/10/2023 08:18

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 23:37

Update.

We decided to wait and see if there would be a quiet moment where we could ask to swap but the two friends have got really hammered now. Seems like any request could easily end in a scene.

SIL and I decided to set up the fold out bed before going out so at least we'd have somewhere to sleep. Turns out it's broken and also has no bedding to go with it. We asked all the girls apart from bride if they could share some bedding with us and all said no. So we have no pillows, sheets or duvets. Luckily I have a blanket in the car but these girls just seem so cold and selfish.

We've also found out that 4 more bride friends will be joining the Airbnb tomorrow just for the day as they didn't want to pay for accommodation but happy to hang here all day and use facilities (e.g pool, hot tub).

Lastly, bride's sister has brought a load of booze (no prior discussion) that's she's trying to charge us for. We've brought our own as MOH told us this was the plan so we politely declined and it went down really badly.

At this point I'm just going to try to enjoy the night with bride and SIL and will be avoiding bride's friends at the wedding.

This can’t be real. I can’t believe anyone would admit to being this much of a mug.

winewolfhowls · 28/10/2023 08:19

Definitely take pictures!

Hope you got some sleep. Go home and snuggle up in bed happy in the thought that you don't have to spend (much) more time with these dickheads.

LylaLee · 28/10/2023 08:23

I tried to Google but no luck, can someone explain the Cuckoo comment re the room?

@Canuck

A cuckoo is a type of bird that doesn't have a nest of its own.

What it does, is it goes around and lays its eggs in the nests of random different birds. And cuckoo chicks are huge. When they hatch, they deliberately push the bird's own actual chicks and eggs out of the nest.

CoconutSty · 28/10/2023 08:23

Omg the brass neck of some people!! They sound like they're about 12. Definitely have words with the MOH when you get back. If I was the bride I'd want to know what arseholes my 'friends' were.

roarrfeckingroar · 28/10/2023 08:26

This hen weekend sounds so tricky!

Morning update please OP. Did they stay? Where? More about the reaction to you not wanting the other pre bought alcohol?

These girls sound just awful - aside the bride. I would be wary of them leaving the place in an awful state and you all getting charged.

Canuck48 · 28/10/2023 08:26

Thank you. This makes sense now. I was confused and it’s 12:30 am and I am medicated due to an almost week long migraine so although I suspected something along those lines it didn’t completely make sense.

Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 08:35

I am logging on early for an update!

Cosyblankets · 28/10/2023 08:40

roarrfeckingroar · 28/10/2023 08:26

This hen weekend sounds so tricky!

Morning update please OP. Did they stay? Where? More about the reaction to you not wanting the other pre bought alcohol?

These girls sound just awful - aside the bride. I would be wary of them leaving the place in an awful state and you all getting charged.

Take photos of your room!

hellohellothere · 28/10/2023 08:42

The hens friends sounds like a bunch of arseholes. You sound lovely though. Following for updates!

MargotBamborough · 28/10/2023 08:49

Cosyblankets · 28/10/2023 08:40

Take photos of your room!

Show quote history

Never a bad idea, but if this does happen it'll be the MoH who is charged.