Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
readingmakesmehappy · 27/10/2023 21:16

You should absolutely tell the air mattress CFs that they need to contribute financially. Or when the MOH does the usual settling up email afterwards, reply all to say that you've recalculated the Airbnb rates based on everyone who actually stayed the night, and you expect a rebate of £xx. I would do that, but I am petty.

And this is also why I don't do overnight hen dos any more. (Though as a PP said, I am totally gripped by how awful they are.)

ThereIbledit · 27/10/2023 21:29

Thank you for the updates, which are glorious, although I feel for you!

Definitely get MoH to complain and get a partial refund from Air B&B and pass it on to you and the other person who had to sleep on a manky broken sofa bed with no duvet or sheets. And point out to her that you OBVIOUSY expect anybody extra sleeping tonight to pay and for it to be divided by the people who had to pay more.

Poppingmad123 · 27/10/2023 21:32

Wow the brass neck of some! I would tell the maid of honour to go fuck herself when she asks for the extra money. Or fob her off / don’t have any cash/ will pay later and just not pay. Why on earth should you. If you do, you’ll forever be the mug. After the wedding, you won’t see them so don’t worry about it.

Honeyroar · 27/10/2023 21:34

The bride must be thick as mince to be oblivious to two friends having to sleep on a settee with no covers all night.

waddlemyway · 27/10/2023 21:37

Blimey, no wonder AirBnbs and bookingdotcoms usually say “no stag/hen parties” !!!

Fortunately my experience of hen (&stag) doos (international, airbnb or otherwise) was always a good one and I was lucky enough to make new friends or acquaintances rather than lose them. Kinda sad that era of my life is pretty much over but I doubt I’d have the stamina for it now 😂 I certainly couldn’t and wouldn’t have been as patient as you have been. Hats aff to ye lassies. i hope you’ve been able to enjoy another fun night out and will yet enjoy a blissful sleep in a clean and comfy bed. You have blimmin well earned it.

ChateauMargaux · 27/10/2023 21:42

Geez - please don't let the maid of honour away with this terrible behaviour.

starflower1974 · 27/10/2023 21:54

I hate hen weekends for these kind of reasons, you can’t say anything in case it upsets the bride to be, and so often that reason is weaponised into pressure to spend more, drink more and put up with being treated like shit. Well done for keeping the moral high ground, but I’d be definitely speaking to the MOH about a refund for the lack of a bed the first night at the end!

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 21:56

Teachertired92 · 27/10/2023 18:57

Put YABU only because (and I might have missed something!) I can’t understand why the bride isn’t in the room with the en suit3?

Bride is in master suite, the two other bedrooms also have en suite

OP posts:
Imagwine · 27/10/2023 22:09

I’d be furious, but good on you for not spoiling the brides weekend.

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 22:38

Milarky · 27/10/2023 19:42

Oh OP, I know it's not great for you but this is a cracking thread that just grabs you. I've been checking all day for updates!

So we need to know

  1. did the one night CF's go home
  2. are the air mattress CF's staying
  3. are you going to ask them to pay.

You and other SIL are indeed gracious and bride is lucky to have you as a "big sister".

Have you text DH any of this?

That's ok, I'm starting to see the funny side myself. Everyone is currently still here pre-drinking, although I can't see us making it out as two hens have already passed out. We are on major cuckoo watch for our room, already had to ask air-mattress-newbies to leave once. We've told bride we need to leave at 8am tomorrow so we can make a quick get away hopefully before most of them are up

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/10/2023 22:49

We are on major cuckoo watch for our room, already had to ask air-mattress-newbies to leave once.

I don't understand, did the air-mattress-newbies try to take your room?? Are they still there? Did they get charged for the night? I need to know all the details.

MargotMoon · 27/10/2023 22:50

Make sure you leave your room and bathroom absolutely spotless, so if there's any sort of showdown around the rest of the place being a shit tip they can't try to pin it on you leaving early and not doing your share of tidying.

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 22:58

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/10/2023 22:49

We are on major cuckoo watch for our room, already had to ask air-mattress-newbies to leave once.

I don't understand, did the air-mattress-newbies try to take your room?? Are they still there? Did they get charged for the night? I need to know all the details.

No it was really weird! We went in to get changed and they were just standing in there looking at our stuff. We clearly made them jump and they said they were just using the loo but seemed really shifty. No official word about them staying but I don't really see how they'd even get home now and obviously we know they brought an air mattress

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/10/2023 23:02

@TheMadHattter arghhh I'm so annoyed for you that those Cheeky Fucker bitches got a partial refund, leaving you and your SIL to PAY MORE, then these new Cheeky Fucker bitches are probably getting a free night. Why didn't the MoH just charge these new Cheeky Fuckers the money that the first Cheeky Fuckers wanted refunded? What a shit show. And yes, that sounds dodgy as hell, they had no business being in your room. I hope you've checked your valuables. These lot all sound horrible. Glad the bride is nice though.

therealcookiemonster · 27/10/2023 23:03

MargotMoon · 27/10/2023 22:50

Make sure you leave your room and bathroom absolutely spotless, so if there's any sort of showdown around the rest of the place being a shit tip they can't try to pin it on you leaving early and not doing your share of tidying.

and take photos of your area before you leave...

Someoneonlyyouknow · 27/10/2023 23:28

I would have suggested you complain to Airbnb about the broken sofa bed and lack of bedding however as you're having extra 'guests' use the facilities and stay over it would be pushing your luck. Also, I wonder if the initial booking actually included everyone or the booker (MoH?) only booked for 6 not 8 people? Any refund would go back to her so I doubt you would see any of it, ditto if she asked the new overnighters for a contribution.

WoollyRosebud · 27/10/2023 23:30

TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 22:58

No it was really weird! We went in to get changed and they were just standing in there looking at our stuff. We clearly made them jump and they said they were just using the loo but seemed really shifty. No official word about them staying but I don't really see how they'd even get home now and obviously we know they brought an air mattress

Show quote history

Had a wet feeling cuckooing might be attempted. Stay strong OP and hang on for dear life to your comfy bed and en suite. You are so NOT sleeping on an air bed tonight whatever anyone else at the CF Convention thinks

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 27/10/2023 23:35

I’m getting my bets in now that you wake up in the night with bride’s sister again in your bedroom, possibly in bed with you, farting and snoring.

Gazelda · 27/10/2023 23:39

I hope you have an enjoyable evening and a restful, comfortable nights sleep.

When you're back home, please please please contact the MOH to outline how shabbily you've been treated and how disappointed you are that she's allowed you to be treated this way, charged for the privilege and watched others in the party take the absolute piss out of you.

Morganrae1 · 27/10/2023 23:39

Cheeky for sure. Cost for them should be the same whether they stay or not. As for the rooms it make sense for them to take the pull out bed. Speak to the bride she needs to know what going on.

Screamingabdabz · 27/10/2023 23:53

Gazelda · 27/10/2023 23:39

I hope you have an enjoyable evening and a restful, comfortable nights sleep.

When you're back home, please please please contact the MOH to outline how shabbily you've been treated and how disappointed you are that she's allowed you to be treated this way, charged for the privilege and watched others in the party take the absolute piss out of you.

Totally agree. You’ve been treated like shit and they sound like total (and I don’t use this word lightly) bitches. I would ask her to explain what of those two days was fair to you.

Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 00:00

Take pictures of the room!

we had a similar situation at a 40th. We left early, left our room spotless and blitzed the kitchen. (The sitting room was a bomb site with bodies strewn)! Left at 10am and at 2pm got a ranty text from organiser how we’d left them in the shit the room was a mess. Blah blah. We sent the pics of the rooms cleaned with us in them in cleaning! No more was mentioned. CFs.

they were being fined by the hosts and wanted to squeeze us for money. Bastards.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 28/10/2023 00:19

Can’t wait for the update

creativegoblin · 28/10/2023 01:06

This is a fantastic thread. Looking forward to next update.

HesterLee · 28/10/2023 01:52

Did the original 2 CF's leave and go home?