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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This dress is NOT appropriate.

257 replies

LReo · 24/10/2023 22:40

My niece, who is 13, sent me a link to this dress saying she would like it for Christmas. I replied saying I don’t think it’s appropriate as it’s clearly an adults dress, the neckline is too low and where would she even wear it?

She’s now really annoyed with me, saying I don’t respect her personal style and all of her friends wear similar. I’ve messaged my niece’s mum and dad who agree with me and are trying to talk to her, but she’s insisting I’m wrong and has now got the hump.

AIBU?

This dress is NOT appropriate.
OP posts:
hellohellothere · 24/10/2023 22:42

You are right it's not appropriate and even her parents agree. Let her have the hump with you, she'll get over it.

CyberCritical · 24/10/2023 22:44

I agree with you that it's not age appropriate for a 13 yr old, I can't think of any place they would be at 13 where that kind of dress would be a suitable choice.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 22:45

Possibly in a darker colour and with less 'push up' underwear it might be ok for a special event for someone that age.....however, her parents agree with you that this isn't suitable and at 13 I think their and your disapproval of it wins over any 'personal style' she wants to have. I definitely wouldn't have worn that at 13, though I am an old fogey so.......

Berushni · 24/10/2023 22:46

It's not going to look like that on a thirteen year old

halloweensweets · 24/10/2023 22:46

I don't think it's that bad? It's not a short dress and the neckline probably wouldn't be as revealing on a normal person as it is on the well endowed model.

Maybe she has some weddings or formal parties to go to? I agree it's not something you would wear around the local shopping centre.

However, People were wearing far worse when I was that age.

Precipice · 24/10/2023 22:47

I don't think it even looks appropriate on the model - her breasts are half out.

HundredMilesAnHour · 24/10/2023 22:48

I'd be howling with laughter at the personal style comment. She'd hate me even more. 😂

Hummusanddipdip · 24/10/2023 22:51

I don't think that dress is appropriate for anyone... just think of the vpl!!!!! Plus the colour is garish.

But really, it's not going to be that revealing on a 13 year old. However it's a moot point as both parents have said no anyway.

I was still in overly baggy cord trousers with a skirt over the top with a crop top at 13... height of fashion in the early 2000s 🤣🤣🤣

LakeTiticaca · 24/10/2023 22:52

She's 13. She's not having the dress. Her parents said no
The end.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 22:52

HundredMilesAnHour · 24/10/2023 22:48

I'd be howling with laughter at the personal style comment. She'd hate me even more. 😂

I think I might take a more sensitive approach, along the lines of helping her find something that is a bit more suitable and that she also feels reflects her style. It's not nice to have people discount you completely, even if what you want is a bit unrealistic - as stated on my other comment, something like this, maybe in a darker colour, with better underwear, might be ok.

bellac11 · 24/10/2023 22:55

Who cares if she has the hump and that she is arguing. Its inappropriate, dont argue about it, end of discussion

Devilsmommy · 24/10/2023 22:57

Hummusanddipdip · 24/10/2023 22:51

I don't think that dress is appropriate for anyone... just think of the vpl!!!!! Plus the colour is garish.

But really, it's not going to be that revealing on a 13 year old. However it's a moot point as both parents have said no anyway.

I was still in overly baggy cord trousers with a skirt over the top with a crop top at 13... height of fashion in the early 2000s 🤣🤣🤣

Oh my days I'd forgotten the skirt over baggy trousers, my little sister wore that all the time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/10/2023 22:57

Oh for the days when 13 year olds just wanted a pony.

No, YANBU,

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 24/10/2023 22:58

Crikey, the most risque thing I wore as a 13 yr old was footless tights 😂

MinnieL · 24/10/2023 22:59

Tell her to get off of OhPolly and have a look on H&M instead!

Feartraining · 24/10/2023 23:00

Bless her! Of course it's inappropriate but good on her for trying. 😂

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 23:03

MinnieL · 24/10/2023 22:59

Tell her to get off of OhPolly and have a look on H&M instead!

There's some 'interesting' clothing in H and M too.

OrangesLemonsLimes · 24/10/2023 23:04

My parents were lenient but I wouldn’t have been allowed to wear a dress like that at 13.

I had something similar in black at 16 but that’s completely different.

Your sibling has said no anyway.

MinnieL · 24/10/2023 23:05

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 23:03

There's some 'interesting' clothing in H and M too.

Show quote history

Oh definitely but the majority of things on OhPolly are going to look exactly like the dress in the OP. At least in H&M there’s a better chance of her finding something decent and acceptable!

Shodan · 24/10/2023 23:11

Not only is it inappropriate, but your niece needs to check her attitude. How rude to argue with you and 'get the hump' because you haven't given in to her demand!

Definitely not mature enough for a dress like that.

JustAMinutePleass · 24/10/2023 23:11

My 11 yo neice has a similar dress but from a high end designer. They’re spandax and so don’t look like that if they don’t have large breasts.

beatrix1234 · 24/10/2023 23:12

At 13 I got in trouble with mum for wearing very baggy sex pistols t shirts, ripped jeans and a dog collar. The whole aim was to “scare people”. The uglier I looked the better. She would have none of it. Nowadays teenage girls want to look like porn stars which I don’t understand as there’s nothing “rebellious” about looking
like a hyper sexual living doll. I have a hard time figuring out why this is happening.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 24/10/2023 23:14

I think that style in a slightly looser fit and a higher bodice would be ok? It's the styling and the over the top form fitting nature of this particular dress that is inappropriate.

Findyourneutralspace · 24/10/2023 23:15

What’s it made of? It looks like shapewear to me but I have all the style of a sack of spuds these days.

CosimoPiovasco · 24/10/2023 23:16

I’m one of those that get a gist of what people like and chose a present for them myself ( with dh ).
Then the present is truly from us.
We never do presents to order.

In terms of the dress, no I wouldn’t give that to anyone.

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