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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This dress is NOT appropriate.

257 replies

LReo · 24/10/2023 22:40

My niece, who is 13, sent me a link to this dress saying she would like it for Christmas. I replied saying I don’t think it’s appropriate as it’s clearly an adults dress, the neckline is too low and where would she even wear it?

She’s now really annoyed with me, saying I don’t respect her personal style and all of her friends wear similar. I’ve messaged my niece’s mum and dad who agree with me and are trying to talk to her, but she’s insisting I’m wrong and has now got the hump.

AIBU?

This dress is NOT appropriate.
OP posts:
honeybeetheoneandonly · 25/10/2023 00:21

Totally missing the point of this thread but how on earth do you walk in this dress? The model seems to cross her legs just to fit them through the dress. Surely the most she could manage in this is a very undignified waddle. To me this dress is only good to just lean against a wall at a party but unsure of how you would actually get there.

Itham · 25/10/2023 00:23

It won't look like that on a 13 year old, but lets be realistic, it doesn't look like that on the model either....in reality.

MadderthanMorris · 25/10/2023 00:25

This is what I really don't understand about how so many people celebrate Christmas nowadays. Leaving aside the inappropriateness of the dress, the idea that a 13 year gets to send you directions to the specific present they expect you to buy for them, and you must therefore buy that present unless you can produce a jolly good reason why not - that just seems utter madness to me.

Surely all you had to do was not buy the dress and buy her something else instead. It's not up to you to explain why. The idea that this would be a problem because you're not satisfying her exact expectation is so contrary to everything Christmas is actually supposed to mean, that I wonder what all this is really about.

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/10/2023 00:31

MadderthanMorris · 25/10/2023 00:25

This is what I really don't understand about how so many people celebrate Christmas nowadays. Leaving aside the inappropriateness of the dress, the idea that a 13 year gets to send you directions to the specific present they expect you to buy for them, and you must therefore buy that present unless you can produce a jolly good reason why not - that just seems utter madness to me.

Surely all you had to do was not buy the dress and buy her something else instead. It's not up to you to explain why. The idea that this would be a problem because you're not satisfying her exact expectation is so contrary to everything Christmas is actually supposed to mean, that I wonder what all this is really about.

In fairness, my kids are now aged between 33 and 12.....and I am struggling!

When they were little it was easy......for the eldest, Bob the Builder (the original and best!), then we went through Disney with the next one, had a fair few years of .....FFs what was it called? Happy something from ELC? That! Then with youngest it went into Lego and then Minecraft Lego.

Now they are older I ask them, as does my sister and my parents. They arent the kind of kids to ask for clothes like this (I breed geeks!) but if the OP had said, as my sister has "What do you want for Xmas", she is sending back what she wants. Q asked and answered.

milkysmum · 25/10/2023 00:35

It's an ankle length dress for goodness sake. It absolutely won't look like it does on the model on a 13 year old. She'll likely wear it with trainers and it will look fine.

Gloriously · 25/10/2023 00:36

Can anyone define inappropriate?

In what way and to be worn where?

Is it because it is body con and is low cut?

I think it’s sad that a girl can’t have fun and experiment with what she wears - why is she this dress being judged?

TeaGinandFags · 25/10/2023 00:36

Ignoring the fact it's a dress for a fully grown woman. (With a figure I'd kill for.)

How tf are you supposed to walk in it?

gossipgurl · 25/10/2023 00:39

I don’t think the neckline is necessarily too low - not everyone has a body type like the model’s so not as much is guaranteed to be on show. Also if the model is taller or more curvy than the buyer, it’s likely the neckline might sit higher and give more coverage

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/10/2023 00:40

It’s cream, not neon pink with yellow polka dots.

Imagining a long bodycon Mr Blobby dress Grin

montysma1 · 25/10/2023 00:40

Well at least it's not half way up her arse cheeks which is how 13 year olds seem to dress for school.....

gossipgurl · 25/10/2023 00:40

honeybeetheoneandonly · 25/10/2023 00:21

Totally missing the point of this thread but how on earth do you walk in this dress? The model seems to cross her legs just to fit them through the dress. Surely the most she could manage in this is a very undignified waddle. To me this dress is only good to just lean against a wall at a party but unsure of how you would actually get there.

Just normally, the dress clearly has some leeway judging by how it’s not skin tight against the model’s ankles. A bodycon dress isn’t revolutionary

ManateeFair · 25/10/2023 01:04

I mean, it would look absolutely nothing like that on a 13-year-old. It looks like that in the picture because it's been styled on an adult woman with a push-up bra and an hourglass figure. Unless your niece has a very developed figure, it will probably actually look pretty demure on her, and she'll be sorely disappointed. However, I can completely see why you feel uncomfortable about buying it for a 13-year-old - she's unlikely to have any occasion to wear it and it will also be grubby within about two seconds of putting it on, even apart from the body-con aspect to it. And if her parents agree it's not OK then that's the problem solved.

I have to say, she sounds like a rude little brat if she's having a go at you because you won't meet her demands for her Christmas present. If she was whining at me like that she'd get nothing.

DiscoBeat · 25/10/2023 01:13

Show her a video of someone trying to run in it, that'll do it. But seriously I agree it's way too mature for a 13 year old.

AliceOlive · 25/10/2023 01:14

HundredMilesAnHour · 24/10/2023 22:48

I'd be howling with laughter at the personal style comment. She'd hate me even more. 😂

Me too and want to say YABU for having this conversation.

pythonny · 25/10/2023 02:08

Isn't it only because the model has a mega chest and a curvy figure? It's not actually going to look like that on her (if anything her tummy will bulge out, it does on even skinny people who aren't photoshopped models or the Kardashians trussed up in shapewear underneath, so just let her try it and see if she still likes it).

Maxi bodycon dresses are positively nun like compared to the miniskirts teens used to wear

HappiDaze · 25/10/2023 02:13

They've been wearing dresses like this to party's for a few years now and normally a lot shorter just about covering their bums.

They're just versions of Skims dresses really

They don't wear them out during the day. They tend to wear baggy trakkies and look 'homeless' a lot of the time. At least that's how my teen DD joking describes their day time look

HappiDaze · 25/10/2023 02:15

As my DD would say it's just a dress it's really not that deep and most teenage girls who like to party wear these dresses in the evening at a party at someone's house

HappiDaze · 25/10/2023 02:17

13 is year 9 I think in which case this is exactly the time they start wearing these types of dresses

Happygerbil · 25/10/2023 02:25

Looks fine to me.

Inthetropics · 25/10/2023 02:32

Maybe something like this?

This dress is NOT appropriate.
HappiDaze · 25/10/2023 02:34

Basically my DD now 16 has been wearing dresses like this for a couple of years now as do all her friends but only when they go to parties. Long or short versions.

She goes to a lot of parties

They never wear dresses like this during the day thank god

It's a bit of a Shock at first but I really don't care any more

As for what little they've all been wearing to Halloween parties this week and what's planned for the weekend

I can't even

I literally just take the piss out of her skimpy Halloween outfits now. I can't stop her wearing them and the juxtaposition of them all wearing baggie trakkies at college is just bonkers really

Inthetropics · 25/10/2023 02:35

The above dress in white/cream and in a shorter version with some cleavage is very common... tons of teens using it. It's not a new look.

QueenCamilla · 25/10/2023 02:41

honeybeetheoneandonly · 25/10/2023 00:21

Totally missing the point of this thread but how on earth do you walk in this dress? The model seems to cross her legs just to fit them through the dress. Surely the most she could manage in this is a very undignified waddle. To me this dress is only good to just lean against a wall at a party but unsure of how you would actually get there.

I'd get her the dress plus a straight-jacket. Perfect for those teenage "grounding" days 👌

marshmallowfinder · 25/10/2023 03:01

Anyone else smell a rat with this thread? 🤔

LOSTAN · 25/10/2023 03:25

marshmallowfinder · 25/10/2023 03:01

Anyone else smell a rat with this thread? 🤔

Yes I do. Apart from anything else the Niece is a rude little madam telling her Aunt that 'she is not respecting her personal style'. At 13? The brat wouldn't be getting anything from me after that comment.