This dress is NOT appropriate.

[LReo]

My niece, who is 13, sent me a link to this dress saying she would like it for Christmas. I replied saying I don’t think it’s appropriate as it’s clearly an adults dress, the neckline is too low and where would she even wear it?

She’s now really annoyed with me, saying I don’t respect her personal style and all of her friends wear similar. I’ve messaged my niece’s mum and dad who agree with me and are trying to talk to her, but she’s insisting I’m wrong and has now got the hump.

AIBU?

Exactly... it would look like anything else that they buy at that age

Something like this?

Let her get the hump

On the “all of my friends” comment… I have a Y10, which is 14-15. Last year, Y9 13-14, this would definitely have been worn by a good number at house parties - which seemed to start in Y9.

I’m not commenting on what’s appropriate - but in my daughter’s circle it wouldn’t be bullshit to say that friends had them. So by all means say no - but don’t assume that’s wrong.

Well I agree it's not suitable for a 13 year old, but perhaps you could have been more tactful and just asked if there was anything else on her list.

I'd let my 13-year-old wear it 🤷‍♀️ but mine usually wants super short dresses. I would prefer this longer one.

I’m thinking they will be deeply disappointed and it will end up in the back of the wardrobe.

😬 It's even ugly on the model.

No way would a 13-year-old wear this.

Oh OP, you missed an opportunity here, should've run it past the parents first then you could have painted them as the bad guys.

I would just jolly her along. It presumably wouldn’t look like that on her anyway, but just breezily say she needs to send some other options

I’m thinking a pair of DMs, an oversized denim jacket (or leather…), a slicked back ponytail and pair of hoops, it could look teen friendly. Surely a 13yr old wouldn’t wear it as the model is?

She’s just miffed because she knows her parents wouldn’t approve and thought you’d be the “cool aunt” and buy it for her without question. Instead you consulted with them and the consensus is “hell no.” She’ll get over it. 😂

This!

I agree with you and the parents.

How is a dress that's so tight to the body that you can see what they had for breakfast remotely suitable for an 11 year-old? Where do they wear it for goodness sake?

High- end designer or not

You’d all have a breakdown if you saw what I wear

Anyway, ohpolly models are all busty. It wouldn’t look like that on a 13 year old.

either way I don’t think you should buy it purely for the reason a 13 year old doesn’t have enough occasions to wear a £60 dress

I’m torn.

Obviously it’s not suitable for a 13 year old. But, the overly indulgent aunty in me might think that it isn’t going to look as sexual on a child as it does on the model and I’d have loved to have had a dress I loved at that age, even if I just wore it to family bbqs. But, I don’t like the attitude that a 13 year old can either request a particular gift or that they’d be bad mannered enough to get the hump about it if I said no.

@Nanny0gg why? What's going to happen if they do?
Genuinely confused about this...

I personally think it's fine. On a 13 year old it's not going to look so curve hugging (pretty sure that model is airbrushed!) And it's probably not going to be that revealing, unless they also have huge fake boobs / cleavage like this model. I imagine it might look more like a PP has posted with a photo of similar in black. It could be a lot worse, I think all the crop tops and super short mini dresses / skirts are far worse!

She would be disappointed if she wore it as people tend to forget model vs reality are never the same.

Exactly. Just because the model is pouting and thrusting doesn’t mean your niece will. Jeez put away the chastity belts and pitchforks…

She’d style it with Nike trainers and an oversized jacket or baggy cardigan.

I think everyone needs to stand down 🙄 it’s essentially just a simple strappy tube dress which is very long. YABU.

I’ve messaged my niece’s mum and dad who agree with me and are trying to talk to her

Talk to her about what? The answer is NO. She's not wearing that dress. There's nothing to talk about. Good grief, do people really tiptoe around their kids like this? Sometimes kids need to be told no and it's ok for them to not like your decision. She can be mad all she wants.

As a now 40 year old who was once a thirteen year old, I’d say that dress is no problem. It’s glamorous. If that dress is worn with nice hair and nice shoes I’d say the kid is just playing ‘princesses’ in her mind and wants to look a bit grown up and like the celebs she’s obsessed with.
I came from a home that did everything they could to stop me being glamorous and pretty because they wanted me to stay at home and look after my siblings, I wasn’t allowed to wear anything nice, never had my done, never had makeup, was deliberately given my brothers hand me downs to make me look frumpy etc. my friends were allowed to have sexy and cool things and had high opinions of themselves , they were divas and were fussy with men. Guess who was shacked up with a 30 year old loser at 15? I was pretty, pretty enough to dance in a strip club, pretty enough to sell my time for £800 a night, pretty enough by all accounts to be a model, but I was the one who visited the gutter before finally having some self esteem and getting my degrees in my 30’s. Unless there’s boob or arse on show, compliment them, tell them they are amazing, because some kids need to be told that to become discerning and fussy about who they sleep with. Showing off isn’t putting out, putting out comes from low self esteem. You can be Gorgeous and still fussy like my daughter is :)

Let her wear what she wants my DD had something similar at 13.

Well, you weren't too polite OP. 13yo like to think they're all grown up, even though they're very much still children. I would have just agreed it's a lively dress then bought her something else.

My 18yo has a similar dress and I would ever have bought it for her