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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is there anyone who WON’T be receiving an inheritance?

361 replies

PinkMoscatoLover · 16/10/2023 20:25

I’m not sure if it’s just me but sometimes I read posts and feel so out of touch! It seems like everyone and their dog on MN will receive an inheritance when a family member passes away.

Not one person in my family has a mortgage or owns their home outright. Those of pension age don’t have any pension savings saved up and rely on state pension (not too sure if that’s the correct wording as I’m not 100% on how it all works.) No one has any savings that they’ll pass on to their children/grandchildren/nieces & nephews etc.

I actually saw a comment on a thread that said, ‘can you ask your parents for an early payment that can just be taken out of your inheritance?’ Not everyone gets inheritance! Surely I can’t be the only one?

Just to add, this isn’t a post to say ‘oh boohoo look at me, I won’t receive anything when a family member passes away.’ It’s more a post to see if there’s other people on MN that have a similar family set up to mine!

OP posts:
JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/10/2023 21:20

I would have been in line for a small to some but sizeable to us inheritance if I had not gone NC with my mum and LC with my dad.

As it stands I’ll take the freedom over their money any day of the week.

OhmygodDont · 16/10/2023 21:20

Nothing for me. My parents are in a council house. Unemployment benefits etc.

Dh could quite a bit as siblings of his parents never married or had children and all own properties plus stuff but who knows. They could leave it all to a cats charity, drink it all or it all go on care fee’s tho so far only one person in his family in the last 50 odd years has needed to go into a home everyone else managed with daily pop ins and died peacefully in their homes.

I think living in the dream of inheritance is silly but then again I also think watching your children rent if you could genuinely help with a deposit is stupid too when you could just lose it to care home fee anyways.

cloudnine13 · 16/10/2023 21:20

Me! No one in mine or my DH family owns anything, houses/properties/expensive cars. Never really thought about it tho as that's how it's always been and we're the same we don't own either

Upwiththelark76 · 16/10/2023 21:21

it came as quite a shock to me as I feel into adulthood that many people got where they were from inheritance . Naive I know! I never even knew what the term old money meant. every thing I have is from me and my hard work. Fair play to parents who worked and saved to pass onto their children .

ReignOfError · 16/10/2023 21:21

I didn’t. My mum had insurance to pay for her funeral and a little for my dad, my dad had enough for his funeral and to leave a few hundred quid each to his grandchildren. They never even owned a car, let alone property.

Mummadeze · 16/10/2023 21:21

My parents are pretty wealthy but enjoy spending their money. They sold both their houses and now live off that capital too. I doubt very much there will be much left when they pass away, which is fine. I don’t expect anything, nor rely on it in my future. Am glad they are enjoying their retirement.

Awrite · 16/10/2023 21:22

My parents rent and may even have debts. No funeral cash stashed anywhere. They are in their 70's.

It has made me sensible with money so it's not all bad I suppose.

PinkBuffalo · 16/10/2023 21:22

My mum is a nursing home since her late 50s due to severe disability so no inheritance everything is going on care fees since my lovely dad died young

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 16/10/2023 21:23

My dad and step mum will leave everything to my half sister and her family I’m sure. They don’t care about me and mine. I go round and they have photos of everyone up-all my siblings (have another 3 full siblings) and all their partners and (including one who is a girlfriend if not long-standing and her a child) but none of me and mine. It’s sad but have stepped away. I don’t want their money-would have appreciated some affection though.

YellowRoses100 · 16/10/2023 21:23

Me! My parents lost their house years ago through poor financial investments. They now live in a rented flat. I remembers living st paternal aunts house for months. Suddenly house was gone.

Dh parents are abroad and they're land/house has some legal covenant which means unless the adjouning neighbour agrees to sell his piece of land they can't do anything with theirs. Neighbour hates DH family after BIL punched his son.

Mistressanne · 16/10/2023 21:23

Plinkplonkplinkplonk123 · 16/10/2023 20:47

Me.
Nc with F who has a younger dw.
Dm has said its to go to my siblings as I'm on disability benefits so will be provided for by the government. The stinger is I'm executor as I'm the sensible one apparently. My siblings are selfish people who stopped contact with me when I became disabled and unable to look after their dc, take them on holiday etc so that will be fun.

You don’t have to be executor. Just say no.

jays · 16/10/2023 21:23

Yup me. I got debt. I don’t care, I adored my mum but yeah….I think I found £20 in a purse and my dad asked for it back, yeah, seriously. l did inherit an impeccable taste in music, a love of motorbikes, a need to help pigeons and an addiction to ghost stories though, so I’m happy!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/10/2023 21:24

Me/us.

I've always grown up of the view that inheritance should never be expected anyway.

My parents are leaving everything to charity.

Husband's parents wrote him out of their Wills after a disagreement.

Husband is bitter about it (understandably as he did nothing wrong), we would have really benefitted from 'what he would have' got, and his sibling who will get everything is a millionaire. But it's ok, we'll manage without.

readbooksdrinktea · 16/10/2023 21:24

LadyOfACertainAge · 16/10/2023 20:28

Not expecting anything here either. And happy with that, would rather mum and dad enjoy while they’re still here

Agree. My parents aren't rich, but they earned it. It's their money.

Whalewatchers · 16/10/2023 21:25

Parents own a £400k house and are in their late 60's. If I get left something then that's great, not so much for me, but for their grandchildren. More than likely my house will be paid off by then, what would I need it for?

I live modestly, drive an old car, don't holiday abroad, not into material things. An inheritance would be wasted on me! :-) (I may holiday abroad once the house is paid off!).

Itslookinggood · 16/10/2023 21:25

Me.

my (abusive) parents have made it clear that they will not be leaving anything behind for mE and siblings - it will go to care home first, and then anything left to the grandchildren. Which is fine.

single parent, no partner, so am glad something will come thr kids’ way.

the one I do feel a bit upset about is elderly uncle. I am the only sibling who has contact; phone him every week (live 300 miles apart). Do all his admin and have recently project managed his move to be near me (he is 87).

not with any expectation of course but recently he told me that he’s amended his will: my father has convinced him to leave it all to ‘the grandchildren’ (8 of which he has never met - it’s only my two he knows).

which again I suppose is good but confess I did feel a pang. It’s like I don’t count, again.

Justmuddlingalong · 16/10/2023 21:26

Currently being gobbled up by nursing home care fees. But, it's not nor ever was my money, so 🤷‍♀️

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 16/10/2023 21:27

I think some of these people expecting an inheritance may be in for a shock. Once care home fees, legal costs, probate, death duties and so forth have been taken into account, there may not be much left.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 16/10/2023 21:27

my SO will inherit.

I most likely won’t. I suppose there might be a little bit coming my way.. but it isn’t particularly likely.

Whalewatchers · 16/10/2023 21:28

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 16/10/2023 21:27

I think some of these people expecting an inheritance may be in for a shock. Once care home fees, legal costs, probate, death duties and so forth have been taken into account, there may not be much left.

Yes, but only c. 15% of people end up in a care home?

TheChosenTwo · 16/10/2023 21:28

Probably not. My mum is in a council place and my dad… who knows. He had a big old house which he sold, no idea what he did with the money but he’s never been very sensible 😂
I’ve said to both of them to enjoy their
retirement when it comes, us kids are all adults making our own way in the world and responsible for our own kids ourselves.
Would never expect a handout from anyone.

swearymad · 16/10/2023 21:29

Me. My parents are leaving everything to my brother. DH's parents have nothing to leave.

UtterlyButterly2048 · 16/10/2023 21:30

Neither DH or I ever have, or ever will, inherit anything. And, that is fine. We both knew that (separately) from a fairly young age and planned accordingly. I do not resent other people who do inherit though. We have made appropriate plans for DHs dc (I have none of my own) and they will have a good inheritance. I’m happy with that, I’ve done the best I could.

Tracker1234 · 16/10/2023 21:30

It seems blended families and care homes take a lot.

Sxs · 16/10/2023 21:31

Im pretty sure im going to inherit debt when my dad goes..