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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is there anyone who WON’T be receiving an inheritance?

361 replies

PinkMoscatoLover · 16/10/2023 20:25

I’m not sure if it’s just me but sometimes I read posts and feel so out of touch! It seems like everyone and their dog on MN will receive an inheritance when a family member passes away.

Not one person in my family has a mortgage or owns their home outright. Those of pension age don’t have any pension savings saved up and rely on state pension (not too sure if that’s the correct wording as I’m not 100% on how it all works.) No one has any savings that they’ll pass on to their children/grandchildren/nieces & nephews etc.

I actually saw a comment on a thread that said, ‘can you ask your parents for an early payment that can just be taken out of your inheritance?’ Not everyone gets inheritance! Surely I can’t be the only one?

Just to add, this isn’t a post to say ‘oh boohoo look at me, I won’t receive anything when a family member passes away.’ It’s more a post to see if there’s other people on MN that have a similar family set up to mine!

OP posts:
KilgoreTrouts · 16/10/2023 20:49

Not only will DH and I not inherit a penny, we’ve been supporting our parents since we started earning. All four worked in minimum wage jobs all their lives, and we are the first people in our families to get to university and have professional jobs.

Cumbrianlife · 16/10/2023 20:49

I didn't but wasn't expecting anything. The ones who seem to moan the most are those who spend their lives thinking DP's home is worth a fortune so they'll one day get a share of that. Several have come unstuck when faced with 5+ years of care home fees of over £1,000 pee week, per parent, which quickly swallows any inheritance.

Flopsythebunny · 16/10/2023 20:50

I won't be. I grew up in local authority care.
FIL died many years ago, Mil had enough for her funeral and wake when she died. Care cost everything she had

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 16/10/2023 20:50

I am the same OP. Can't say it bothers me either. Everything I have I've earned myself. Quite satisfying really.

Deadringer · 16/10/2023 20:50

Me. My mum doesn't own her house and is on a low income so no inheritance. My aunts and uncles are all dead, so there won't be any surprises either. My dh has one sister and his mum is leaving her house to her as they live together so no inheritance for him either.

Lizzieregina · 16/10/2023 20:50

My mum had just enough money to bury her and my dad had a house, but my sister loaned him the money to do it up when she was in her 20s, so she got the house. I’ve never received any inheritance.

If we croaked together today, our kids would get a nice inheritance, but we live in the US and the cost of aging is colossal, so if we live to be old, there’ll probably be nothing left. We are just hoping not to cost our kids anything.

mumda · 16/10/2023 20:50

Mum is leaving it all to the grandchildren. I'd like to think she spends it all having a good life though.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 16/10/2023 20:51

Dementia runs in my family, so I imagine anything my Mum has will go on her care needs eventually. She's not 70 yet but I swear I see glimmers of behaviours that make me think she'll go the same way.

My Dad has money, but lives in council housing. He married again and raised her kids from when the youngest was 6. I don't know if he'll leave anything to her kids or to me and my sister. I don't really care to be honest.

Pebblesflintstoneandbambamrubble · 16/10/2023 20:51

I won't get a penny

On paper my parents are millionaires but I'm nc with my narcissistic mother and enabler father

It's been made clear my whole life,that if we toe the line,allow her full control and take her abuse,we'll get our fair share of what she leaves behind (my brothers are the golden children and I'm the scapegoat)

I refused to toe the line so I've been written out and don't care

Dp will be left a pretty penny when my darling mil dies-hes now an only child as his sister died in 2000

Not my money so I won't be spending a penny of it

TheWhalrus · 16/10/2023 20:51

Nothing so far.

Theoretically this could be a large sum of money (I would estimate several hundred thousand pounds) although a lot depends on how things end for my mum. I doubt she'll want to go into a home, but there may come a time when she has to, and i'd be absolutely fine with all of her money being spent on making her final years, or months as comfortable as possible.

I certainly don't think about the money and would be fine if she left me nothing of any material value.

ShellySarah · 16/10/2023 20:51

Me. Mum owns no property or have any money to leave.
Since I was about 17 if I wanted it I had to buy it and she took rent as soon as I had any job no matter how badly paid. Even a summer job in a cafe she demanded half of it when I was a teenager.

Diversion · 16/10/2023 20:52

My in-laws had to sell their house to pay for their care in a care home and pay off the equity release. I would rather that they used their money so that they can live together somewhere nice where they are safe and well cared for. My Mum died last year, they were not rich and were very frugal. I want my Dad to not have to worry about money, about paying his bills and be able to enjoy whatever time he has left which I hope is lots . I do not care if I am not left any money, they all worked hard and saved hard, it is their money to do with as they wish and to have a good life. As long as I have enough to eat, pay the bills without worrying and treat out grandchildren occasionally I am happy . 😀

WorriedMillie · 16/10/2023 20:52

I’m not relying on anything, due to potential care costs!

floofbag · 16/10/2023 20:52

No one knows what will happen . My mums estate is worth about £1m but she has dementia and will need care at some point so who knows if there will be anything left. People who bank on it unless it's in a trust are idiots!

Helendegenerate · 16/10/2023 20:52

My parents are no longer living, They were divorced but neither had partners or spouses when they died 3 years apart.

They each left a very small sum which covered funerals and left a little which was shared between me and two siblings. Nothing life changing but enough for a summer holiday in Spain. 😎

No insurance or wills. That's life and death. I am making sure my own situation is very different.

Nottodaty · 16/10/2023 20:53

I always think it’s better not to expect anything!

My husband parents divorced , Mum has nothing other than small savings to pay for funeral costs. Dad - step mum nursing home fees, it is likely he will sale (& completely understand) to pay for her to have the best they can afford.
My parents both remarried younger partners, likely to outlive my parents and inherit what small amounts there maybe.

Means I’ve never assumed anything coming my way!

Tweedledeedums · 16/10/2023 20:53

Me!
Both parents dead. They lived in council house all thier lives and on the poverty line.
I'm of an age that I will never own property ( barring a lottery win!)
On the other end of the scale I have several friends who own houses outright, mortgages paid off years ago and have already received or stand to receive substantial inheritances.
Sometimes makes me think of the old saying 'money goes to money' or whatever it is🤷‍♀️

Original poster
PinkMoscatoLover · 16/10/2023 20:54

SahliJ · 16/10/2023 20:45

No-one can guarantee it.

My DH is an only child. His surviving parent was diagnosed with COVID paranoia, leading to a very sudden onset of dementia and now needs full time care.
She is fortunate to have savings to look after her care, but her savings are reducing by £4,750 each month.

I’m sorry to hear of her condition, that sounds really difficult. I had no clue that’s how much it can cost for someone to pay for their care. Does it depend on their condition or what type of care they want? What happens if you have no savings? I have so many questions

OP posts:
octodrive · 16/10/2023 20:56

I have never really given it much thought bit it's raised an interesting question for me. I'm NC with my mother, but we are in Scotland where she cannot disinherit me but I have no idea if she has any money so who knows!

FikaMika · 16/10/2023 20:56

Both my sets of grandparents owned houses but my parents inherited nothing as my grandparents had to pay care costs so ownership is no guarantee either!

Kangaroobrain · 16/10/2023 20:56

Like others have said, with my mum and parents in law it all depends on whether they'll need care, which is looking increasingly likely at some point. I just hope it's enough to fund somewhere nice for as long as they need it, and I doubt there'll be anything much left for myself/DH/various siblings.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 16/10/2023 20:56

Me

Noicant · 16/10/2023 20:58

Me, Nc with parents who don’t have that much anyway. But tbf we are financially comfortable so it’s not something I really think about. But inheritance can be life changing for people as well. Buying a home, helping your kids etc.

Blanketenvy · 16/10/2023 21:01

My parents own their own home, so theoretically. However my dad has Parkinson's and so is likely to need care in the future, as may my mum.. who knows. If there is anything left, I have a v disabled sibling who there is a trust for to enable them to have some quality of life beyond the basics and the priority would be putting money into that for her if there was anything left. It's certainly not a given for me, and no money in the family beyond the house they own.

Babyroobs · 16/10/2023 21:01

WhatAPalaverer · 16/10/2023 20:30

Those of us with parents who own houses may well not see a penny after care costs are paid- the days of passing on enough to buy a house are gone for most.

This. Of my small group of close friends ( 6 of us), three have lost both their parents and go next to nothing by the time care home fees were paid for a number of years. DH got some inheritance only because sadly his parents both died suddenly before needing to pay for care. I find it a bit odd on mumsnet how elderly parents always seem to be signing over their houses to their kids or giving large amounts of money away, I don't think they realize that if that elderly parent needs care in the next few years then the local authority can look at where the assets have gone. I do understand people wanting their kids to have inheritance rather than it going on care fees but honestly it has to be paid for somehow !