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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel pressured into having long hair

166 replies

Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:47

It's a chin length bob ATM, flicks out all over the place but don't want to damage it by using heat every day.
Can't tie it up as too short. I've seen so many comments on here about how 'very few women suit short hair ' 'makes you look older' 'makes you look masculine '.
Men in general seem to prefer long hair.
The trend in women under a certain age is longer hair, 99.9% of school girls have longer hair, girls are asked if they're non-binary/trans if they've got a pixie cut (seen that happen).
I've just seen a woman on the train with a very short pixie cut and it was beautiful on her.
I feel like I could never cut it that short. Ultimately who cares what people think but there's just such an undercurrent regarding women with short hair.

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 12/10/2023 07:48

Really? I don't think so

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:48

So I mean I often wish I could get it cut into a pixie but I feel pressured to grow it.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 12/10/2023 07:49

Nope my hair, my choice. Who wants to be a clone

HowToSaveAWife · 12/10/2023 07:49

I've had very long hair down my back and I've had a pixie cut. Haven't experienced any of what you've said.

It's only as deep as you want to make it and truly ... No one gives that much of a fuck about other people's hair.

Do what you want.

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:50

I searched a short hair thread and so many of the comments were 'you'll only suit short hair if you're very pretty with amazing bone structure '

OP posts:
LordEmsworth · 12/10/2023 07:50

Bollocks.

People on an anonymous internet forum making stupid comments doesn't equal pressure to change your hair.

I have a chin length bob, I can tie it up. Wanting to be able to tie your hair up isn't "pressure to have long hair", it's personal preference.

I haven't surveyed all the men about their preference, and if they all told me they prefer long hair - that's still not pressure, it's their opinion.

Do what you like, it's your hair.

Bearcub101 · 12/10/2023 07:50

Do what you want, not what everyone else wants. I personally am trying to grow my hair (43), but it always gets to a certain length and I have the chop. Trying to resist that at the moment.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 12/10/2023 07:50

Pressured by who?

If you want to cut it short, just do it! It isn't anyone else's concern, and if you decide you don't like it yourself, you can always grow it back if you choose to. You're massively overthinking this!

Torganer · 12/10/2023 07:50

Who is pressuring you? Lots of women have short hair. Also most people don’t really care how other people wear their hair!

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:51

Previously worked as a teacher and there must have been one girl out of every 30 who had short hair. Maybe I'm overthinking it but I just hardly see it on women.

OP posts:
Spanglemum02 · 12/10/2023 07:51

With kindness OP, this is coming from you. There is no pressure for women to have long gaor. Very few of the women in my family do. Go to the hardressers and have a discussion with them about what they think would suit you.

MarathonBarbie · 12/10/2023 07:51

It’s hair, it grows, cut it/grow it however you want. People say weird stuff on threads but the vast majority of people don’t care/notice what hair style you have.

CatherinedeBourgh · 12/10/2023 07:52

Who exactly is pressuring you? I've had long hair, I've had short hair and I don't think I've ever received a comment about it.

I now have it long because short hair is too high maintenance for me, and I'm lazy.

WillowCraft · 12/10/2023 07:52

Loads of women have short hair. What are you on about? I think long hair looks pretty grim on a lot of people but that's just my opinion. Do what you want!

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:52

I maybe am overthinking it. I just don't know why it's so much more common to have longer hair.
I can't tie mine up fully as the hair above the neck is too short.

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 12/10/2023 07:53

I have found that the men who prefer long hair on women are often very traditional in lots of other ways……

CatherinedeBourgh · 12/10/2023 07:53

re. men - IME you can cut your hair from waist length to a short bob and if they notice at all it will be weeks later....

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 12/10/2023 07:53

Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:51

Previously worked as a teacher and there must have been one girl out of every 30 who had short hair. Maybe I'm overthinking it but I just hardly see it on women.

But you are not a schoolgirl, so that's irrelevant.

You're a grown adult and you can do what you like with your hair. Nobody else cares!

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:53

Honestly, search a thread on here and you'll see.
I've heard so many men say 'I don't usually like long hair but it looks good on X"

OP posts:
FiddleLeaf · 12/10/2023 07:53

I don’t really understand the pressure unless you’re signed to model for L’Oréal.

Have the hair you like 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you’re concerned about others, a shot French bob is on trend.

HowToSaveAWife · 12/10/2023 07:54

I think you need to do some work on why you place so much value on what strangers say online and what other people have, wear or do. You don't always have to fit in or do what everyone else is doing.

FiddleLeaf · 12/10/2023 07:54

So it’s men you’re worried about?

Original poster
Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:54

Thanks everyone, I'll try not to give into pressure and research some styles..

OP posts:
WillowCraft · 12/10/2023 07:54

Andyrourkerip · 12/10/2023 07:51

Previously worked as a teacher and there must have been one girl out of every 30 who had short hair. Maybe I'm overthinking it but I just hardly see it on women.

But teenage girls are not representative of adult women. They just all copy each other. Do you also wear a skirt that exposes your bottom and t bar patent kickers? As that's what 99% of teenagers seem to wear.

BrutusMcDogface · 12/10/2023 07:55

My hair is thinning and falling out for some reason, which is very depressing but which means I’m going to have to get the chop. I don’t see many older women with long hair; perhaps this is the reason?

Anyway, I’ve said yabu because you can do whatever the fuck you want to do with your own hair.