Feel pressured into having long hair

[Andyrourkerip]

It's a chin length bob ATM, flicks out all over the place but don't want to damage it by using heat every day.
Can't tie it up as too short. I've seen so many comments on here about how 'very few women suit short hair ' 'makes you look older' 'makes you look masculine '.
Men in general seem to prefer long hair.
The trend in women under a certain age is longer hair, 99.9% of school girls have longer hair, girls are asked if they're non-binary/trans if they've got a pixie cut (seen that happen).
I've just seen a woman on the train with a very short pixie cut and it was beautiful on her.
I feel like I could never cut it that short. Ultimately who cares what people think but there's just such an undercurrent regarding women with short hair.

The most beautiful woman I've ever seen in real life has short hair.
I doubt she cares what men think of it!

Yes but in the same way men feel the pressure of being short or skinny too. So just do what you want , someone will judge you either way.

The other thread that you're referring to was posted by someone that was complaining about the lack of variety in hairstyles, specifically the trend for long hairstyles.

I don't think there is any less variety in hairstyles now than there has been previously. It just happens to be that more of the on-trend styles are longer. Do you consider fashion trends a form of pressure? Surely, as an adult woman, you are capable of making your own choices?

I don't think the fashion for long hair has anything to do with male preference. They may prefer long hair but it hasn't stopped short hair being fashionable in the past. I think we do need generational breaks in certain hairstyles for them to seem 'fresh' again.

When I say that, I don't mean that a fashionable woman in her 20s couldn't rock a pixie cut. It's just less common. I think that part of the reason for this is that women in their 50s and 60s still love a good bob/short hairstyle and younger generations almost always want to rebel against the previous generation when it comes to fashion!

I have the same attitude with long hair at 55. Over the years I've had mine short, straight, permed but it's long out of sheer laziness. No one except myself dictates my hair choice.

I am 51 and have longer hair, currently at bra strap length, but have had it longer. For me, it suits me and my needs (ability to put it up in a knot when it drives me mad or am doing something) slightly on the longer side, and it sits better with a bit of weight to it. My dh loves my hair longer, but appreciates it's my hair and I wear it how I want. I did have a fright a couple of years ago when the hairdresser cut it to collar length instead of collar bone length, where I even showed her a photo of me at my ideal hair length! It was so very short but it did suit me. It just wasn't what I wanted.
A lot of the narrative around hair length and some fashion in general is just magazines, be it on paper or online, need to talk about something. When reading them, which is not often, I think about Ab Fab when they are having the meeting about the next issue. It was just nonsense. It's just about making money.

Yea I think people are being a bit disingenuous, if it's mens opinion you're worried about sure men usually do prefer long hair . It's not a secret they prefer it as it appears more feminine. Of course not ALL men prefer it and some will like short hair on women.
However you're talking about feeling pressured to have long hair which is something different. Do you mean pressured to have long hair to be attractive ?

Mentioned in https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/4747927-les-parisiennes-des-mamansnet-jesusflo-superstar-in-a-back-lit-kaftan-toyboy-not-included?page=3&reply=124896173 and other S&B threads … sorry I’m out and about can’t search very well

My hair is super short. Shaved with a bright purple Mohawk. Have I been mistaken for a bloke? Once. Am I slim and pretty with striking cheekbones? No. But I love my hair. It is part of what makes me who I am. And honestly I have it shaved every 4 weeks for £5 and cut and dyed every 8 weeks. I use box dye and no products in it. I have well trained hair that does what I ask it to do (most of the time)

if it’s what YOU want to do, then go ahead and do it

It's not always a person's own choice how they have their hair you know. Parents often decide for their children and not always for the best. As a child and young girl I had very short hair because my mother wanted it that way. She hated my long, straight, wispy blond hair, not at all like hers - dark and wavy. I wánted long hair, but she had it cut short every few months. I mean : crewcut! I looked like a boy! And yes, the moment I could I had my hair long, and still have it long. But that's not a question of "better" or "nicer", it's just what I want! And that's what you should do!

I’m 61 and have had a pixie cut for years! It’s been changed slightly a few times but always around the same, very short length, I think it suits me and I don’t give a flying fig what anyone thinks, if you want to cut it cut it, if you don’t like it it soon grows back 🤷‍♀️

Social pressure is definitely a thing! I think I’m over long hair too. I’ve noticed lots of women’s longer hairstyles look sort of straggly and style less to me these days - including my own. Shorter cuts look neater and fresher and somehow more youthful.

I’m not quite bold enough yet though as I have large features (oh to be elfin!) and my hair is very thick, straight and definitely my crowning glory (as much as I dislike that term!) I keep fantasising about a drastic cut though.

I think you're definitely over thinking it. It will grow back you know??

Women with beautiful bone structure suit very short hair. Most of us don’t have beautiful bone structure.

I think shorter hair can sometimes require more effort as you have to style it if it’s complicated and use hair products. Longer hair is just easier- for me anyway. I used to have a sleek bob and it was a pain in the butt, regular trims, blow drying, straightening. Long hair (for me) wash it, pop some serum in, leave it alone.

It’s your hair cut it how you want, I met DH when I had long hair, now I have short hair and it’s really not caused any permanent damage to our marriage. This way overthinking hair, always try to please yourself first when it comes to your own body.

Want the truth? Most men prefer long hair. In fact, society in general expects long hair. You're right.

But advice? If you want shorter hair, having it will attract suitable people for you to you. If anyone wants you just because you have long hair (be that a friend, partner, workplace, family, whatever), that's a red flag.

I currently have super long hair but had super short about 5 years ago. I rocked the short WAY better, and the compliments I got on the short FAR outweigh the compliments on the long. Screw anyone else! Do what makes you happy. I bet you look 🔥 no matter what.