Feel pressured into having long hair

[Andyrourkerip]

It's a chin length bob ATM, flicks out all over the place but don't want to damage it by using heat every day.
Can't tie it up as too short. I've seen so many comments on here about how 'very few women suit short hair ' 'makes you look older' 'makes you look masculine '.
Men in general seem to prefer long hair.
The trend in women under a certain age is longer hair, 99.9% of school girls have longer hair, girls are asked if they're non-binary/trans if they've got a pixie cut (seen that happen).
I've just seen a woman on the train with a very short pixie cut and it was beautiful on her.
I feel like I could never cut it that short. Ultimately who cares what people think but there's just such an undercurrent regarding women with short hair.

I'm 63 and have short hair. It's not quite a pixie cut.
The last time I had long hair I was 15.

non of those things you’ve said ring true to me. I think the only pressure here is coming from yourself worrying what others think. If you want short hair go for it!
I’m sure no one else will give it a second thought

I have short hair and genuinely don't give a flying fuck if people don't like it.

I've had the odd comment like " haven't you ever thought about growing it?" Or " oh but you'd look so nice with long hair" but it's very rare. I do think lots of women have an unhealthy attachment to their hair, it's obviously very important to their sense of femininity and they wouldn't feel attractive without it.

Yes, on the strength of a similar MN thread a while ago I mentioned the getting long hair cut every few years to my hairdresser one day - you should have seen the look on his face!!

I have short hair - and I do literally nothing to it. I don't brush, comb, or style it, ever. I might run my fingers through it now and again, nothing more - so easy.

OP, do you genuinely feel under quite a lot of pressure to follow trends and fashions? And do you generally spend a lot of time worrying about what other people might think of your choices?

But that’s going looking for criticism and pressure. I could Google literally any topic under the sun “+ Mumsnet” and find a 40-page, 1000-post bunfight full of deleted posts with people up in arms about the most minor life choice.

I’ve never had a man comment on my hair or heard similar comments, but I also don’t care what men think so perhaps wasn’t listening.

I had short hair as a little girl, a pixie cut as a teen, a bob now; went long only in pregnancy when hormones gave me unicorn hair. About to crop it all off again tbh. Have never had any comments or criticism and just thinking about my friends, I think about 50% of them have short – properly short, show your ears short – hair. But I had to think about it, I’m not sure I generally think about my hair beyond “the baby put yoghurt in it, FFS”, or other women’s hair.

I had my shoulder-length hair cut short short last year after an injury meant I couldn't even brush my hair, never mind dry it or tie it up (or fasten a bra, pull up my pants etc). Never had so many compliments about my hair! PLUS I managed to cut away all the box dye straggly bits that I've been growing out for 18 months and really embrace the changes to my hair - colour, texture etc. It has been really liberating!

Who cares about bias and trends? It is about what you like and what suits you. I used to have long hair and then in my early 20s got it chopped to chin length. Every couple of years I let it grow a bit, hate it and then get it chopped again. My husband much prefers my chin length hair but won't ever say he dislikes it long as it is my hair. I stopped getting it highlighted a couple of years ago now. Trends and bias and stupid standards women are supposed to follow say I should hate my light brown short flicky bob but I feel most like myself and happiest like this. Stop worrying about external influences and think about you really want. And hair grows

I have short hair and have for many years and I love it! When it was long I used to just tie it back anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ I prefer my hair short. I can’t imagine why anyone else would have an opinion on my hair - or why I would care if they did! 🤣

I have short hair, properly short. Used to be long but it's curly and I got so fed up with trying to stop it from frizzing and sticking out, I had tried everything (and I mean EVERYTHING!)

DH prefers long hair, has told me so before but, it's my hair! And he's not the one having to deal with it every day. So I had it all cut off and I now love it (and so does he).

I understand what you're saying, I was so worried about it being cut short as I do not have an 'excellent bone structure' and I'm not skinny. But at the end of the day, it's just hair. There are many more interesting things about me (and there are about you too!)

Try not to think too much about it, do what makes YOU happy, no one else

My hair is just regrowing after chemo....I would never have had a pixie cut but I actually suited it and the maintenance was amazing!! Literally ran a comb through in the morning and I was good to go. I've now got a bob but I won't be growing it long again, I'm sticking with short - having the choice taken away though was awful.....

Grow a spine woman!

Marilyn Monroe had shortish hair. I have jaw length blonde and love it.

not read the whole thread

probably going to get flamed here but....

i think to really pull off a pixie cut successfully you have to have
(i) very delicate facial features (think petite and in proportion, small nose big eyes etc); and
(ii) reasonably thick hair, not too thick but extremely fine hair with a pixie cut screams to me hours of styling/hair thickeners/curling every morning. If you are up for that ok but otherwise there is more you can do with a bit of length

If you are like me with far from perfect facial features then hair can act as a distraction in a helpful way even if it is not styled perfectly. I know this having suffered from cancer and when all my hair dropped out, the hair i always hated all my life,I would have killed to get back, even just a little bit,and when it was grown back at a bit of length i felt super grateful.

When I had my long hair chopped to just above shoulder length, so many people were openly aghast about the fact that it wasn’t long anymore. It was so bizarre. “Why have you done thaaaaaat?!”

I loved it short. I enjoyed putting waves in it and it having loads of volume. And lo and behold I had loads of compliments about it! It looked lovely that summer. When it was long it was flat and heavy. I couldn’t do much with it apart from put it in a pony tail, because if I left it down it got in the fucking way. I did put waves in it when it was long too, and the massive wavy ponytail was amazing. But it was also heavy too, and I began to worry about traction alopecia if it was scraped back in a heavy pony tail all the time.

I love all hair lengths. They all look really nice. At the moment my hair is mid length.

My advice is to go with what ever you want. Sod other people.

I assume you mean most young women have long hair?

Surely after 50 or 60 most women actually have short hair? I'm 48 with long hair & actually feel like if might be time to go shorter as most others my age have done.

DD is 13 & has short hair. It suits her. She is by no means the only one in her year group of 160 children (so approx 80 girls if we assume a 50/50 split). Nowhere near 99.9% of girls.

You are massively over thinking this.

Have whatever hair cut you want. If people are pathetic enough to judge you by how you have your hair cut then they're not your sort of person so their opinion shouldn't matter!

I used to have really short hair and I remember these two guys in a nightclub queue in front of me. I started to chat to them and one of them laughed and asked the other if he thought I was a boy or a girl. I laughed and said "the boobs should give it away, but actually, given the size of your own moobs, I can see why you got confused!". The other guy laughed at his mate for being such a dick.

I have a bob atm. I've had pretty much every hairstyle you can think of, including every colour.

I went through a bit of a crisis of confidence just before lockdown. I wear a lot of 'unusual' clothes, everyday I am a different person. I treat my wardrobe like a dressing up box.

I had a longer top and shaved sides for quite a while, then a very short bleached platinum pixie. So probably due to my clothes and my hair togther and, maybe its just the circles we socialise in but I was treated as non-binary (and I didn't quite know how to feel about that)

So while everyone in lockdown was shaving their head and dying it amazing colours I grew mine into a long mouse coloured blurggggghhhhh.

Then I got very blonde highlights. And it's been between shoulder and chin length since.

But I don't feel like me. I want short hair again.

Though I have really bad hair loss on my crown due to medication and a long illness so until that comes back I need the longer hair to hide the baldness. Half pony for the win.

But I'm going short again ASAP.....I feel more 'me' and have done since I first went very short at 13 so almost 30 years later I should have the confidence to trust I know what suits me best.

Some people are better suited to short hair and some are better suited to long hair. Cut your hair in a way that suits your face and hair and that you like.
My previous hair stylist who told me she would never cut my hair short because of the way my hair is (thick, curly, wavy), it would be impossible to style. Maybe talk to a good hair dresser who will be honest with you about what they thinks suits you best. Trends are not the best way to determine hair style.

Mine is longer than a pixie cut just under my ears -I have slightly wavy hair and cut it myself if you search for short bob wavy hair - I look like that. I gave up on long hair 15 years ago in my 30s. Cutting it made the waves show before that I had kind of long thick hair that always looked a bit frizzy and I tended to tie it up anyway. It suits me and it suits my Mum I definitely don't have great bone structure but do have a bit of a masculine face.

It's up to you. I think many women and girls have just realised that longer hair = actually less maintenance and fewer trips to the hairdressers.

When I had a pixie cut in the 1990s it needed trimming about once a month. Then anything slightly longer than that to shoulder length is really high maintenance for my thick wavy hair. I sleep on short hair and it sticks out all wrong in the morning and needs heavy styling.

In my school photos from the 80s, virtually (if not) every girl had short hair!

Yes, the fashion now is for longer hair, but there are some amazing short styles on women around.

I watched the Beckham doco this week and there’s some footage of Victoria with very short hair (not the short hair she had for the wedding, but even shorter and styled very close to her head). She looked absolutely amazing.

I had the more Natalie Imbruglia style crop than the more spiky Victoria Adams/Beckham look but it was a fucking nightmare not to look like Fozzie Bear every morning and very high maintenance. This was before decent hair straighteners were invented and changed my life.

I wasn't allowed to have long hair in the 1980s (it was always a pageboy crop) but I really wanted my hair long.

Hair products were shit then though, I don't think we even had conditioner at home. When my hair was longer it was permanently matted, I couldn't comb it.

The problem with the internet is you can find all sorts of information that validates a certain view point. If you are looking for short hair hating information, you’ll find it. Search “stylish short hair cuts” instead.