Giving wine as a teacher gift?

[LoveRules]

AIBU to think my DD (20) is right in her suggesting that to give wine or any alcohol as a thank you gift to someone you don't know very well eg teacher or colleague is irresponsible and inappropriate as they might be, unbeknownst to you, an alcoholic

My DP says this is ridiculous and any grown up including alcoholics would be able to cope with such a gift by passing it on etc. and should allowed to make their own decisions about their drinking as they manage to walk past booze in the supermarket every day if they are recovering alcoholics. So the odd gift of a bottle from one or several students or colleagues is acceptable.

AIBU in thinking he's not quite understood the challenges faced by recovering alcoholics

or

IAMBU he's right it's all totally fine?

I gave a bottle of tequila to my daughters primary school teacher at Christmas and she loved it!

YANBU I’m with you and DD on this.

Same goes for food, really

I’d give a nice £5/10 Costa voucher. Everyone can find something to have from there!

What if they don’t like Costa?

I make personalised wine labels on a commercial basis specifically for this market. I asked loads of teachers for their favourite gift - every one said wine! Wouldn’t be my fave unless it was the right one though.

We haven't as we had other ideas and my child is older now so we don't do it bur teaching my child I think they could do with a bottle of something

I think it's a great idea if that is what is chosen

I wouldn’t - I hate coffee or milky hot chocolate 🤢

YANBU, some people don't drink too, and I'd rather give a gift the teacher will use and appreciate. We used to club together as a class and do a John Lewis voucher or similar (though that brings the subsequent WhatsApp group dramas...)

Less likely to cause upset or offence, isn’t it? Hot chocolate / nice smoothie / coffee / tea / cake.

Very thoughtful of you and your DD – however, I agree with your DP - they are adults and are capable of passing it on if not wanted.

Otherwise we start saying we cannot give chocolates or biscuits in case they’re on a diet. And cannot give toiletries in case they have sensitive skin.
Where does it end?

We tend to quickly ask the TA or class rep if they know if they drink/can eat dairy etc.

Alcohol and chocolate are the perfect teacher gifts.

as a cancer patient with a double mastectomy I would find the gift of a costa voucher exceptionally offensive

Wine is a great gift
How likely is it that a teacher is an alcoholic who can't even pass on a bottle of unwanted wine?
The level of overthinking here is astounding

I wouldn't give alcohol as a gift but that's only my personal thought as I'd refuse to buy it due to religious reasons.

But if you're stuck for a gift, vouchers are always good!

Can I ask why?

Wine is fine. Teachers will pass it on to another member of staff in school if they’re not a drinker. Or take it along to a friend’s house etc.

I'm a teacher and I don't drink alcohol. I often get bottles of wine. I always say thank you, and pass them on to colleagues.

Giving alcohol to a teacher is really problematical though.

Does the child carry alcohol into the school? Does the teacher leave alcohol unsupervised in their desk or carry it around all day? How do they get it home if they cycle, or have a lot to carry on the bus?

I am teetotal, so alcohol gifts just get given straight to a colleague with a car (very few or them)

I wouldn't find being given alcohol as deeply offensive as being given a costa voucher though

Exactly what I was thinking 🤔 So much deep thinking these days!

You can regift wine. I would have no interest in a costa voucher at all.

All fine. They'll pass it on if they don't want

I always give bottles of wine to my kids teachers, I just ask the office staff / TA if they like red/white/rose. If I was told they don’t drink wine I’d get posh tea / coffee / biscuits.

My kids attend a very small school so all the staff know each other/ what they drink etc

@LoveRules I think your Dd is being over sensitive. Any alcoholic / teetotal teachers will swap the wine for chocolates / shower gel / best teacher mugs with their colleagues.

Because they promote double mastectomies as a life style choice to be celebrated, not a terrible experience leaving you in pain and disabled, which is the actual reality.

3 years on, no way could I ever get my arms that high, and never likely to be able to

No one is BU here. I personally don’t but booze for people who don’t drink. But in most cases the teacher would just re-gift or table to someone else’s house for dinner etc.

Not only that, but none of my friends or family would touch costa with a bargepole either, because they know how horrendous the double mastectomy has been for me, and are equally sickened by this advertising ploy