Giving wine as a teacher gift?

[LoveRules]

AIBU to think my DD (20) is right in her suggesting that to give wine or any alcohol as a thank you gift to someone you don't know very well eg teacher or colleague is irresponsible and inappropriate as they might be, unbeknownst to you, an alcoholic

My DP says this is ridiculous and any grown up including alcoholics would be able to cope with such a gift by passing it on etc. and should allowed to make their own decisions about their drinking as they manage to walk past booze in the supermarket every day if they are recovering alcoholics. So the odd gift of a bottle from one or several students or colleagues is acceptable.

AIBU in thinking he's not quite understood the challenges faced by recovering alcoholics

or

IAMBU he's right it's all totally fine?

People are overthinking this..

If you don't kike wine, vouchers, chocolates etc, it's that time of year when everything can be regifted. Any gift is a win-win. Even if you're Muslim and can't drink, you'll have friends that can.

Wine is a rubbish gift. In our old house the neighbours used to get it. No it just crowds round the house.
However, the things I've kept and look at again when I get maudlin is my thank you cards from students and their families.

@piintheski not everybody will feel the same as you though. My mum has had a double mastectomy but loves coffee and cake at costa.

I don't know a single teacher without alcohol dependency.

I only gift alcohol to people who I know definitely drink. And make sure I'm getting them something I know they'll like that I've seen them drink before, or heard them talking about.

I always sigh when I'm gifted alcohol. I do drink, but in very small amounts, less than 5 a year. I don't want/need bottles of the stuff cluttering up my house, which will take me years to drink.

Saying that, I'm off to a friends birthday party later, and am re-gifting to her a bottle of spirit that I got given last Christmas, which is untouched. I'm not going to drink it, so it might as well go to someone else who might!

That's ridiculous! There's loads of us. Just because society in general has a stupid 'wine o'clock' attitude to drinking doesn't mean everyone does.
I've been teaching over 20 years and this is not true. I for one rarely drink. Once every couple of months at the most.

Your most definitely in the minority.

I think this thread shows that we need to do away with pointless gift giving. No one appreciates it anyway, you might offend someone (at best) or at worst trigger someone into making a decision that ruins their life. Just say thank you and save the gifting for someone who you know well enough not to have to agonise over this nonsense (or better still, buy yourself something you really want).

I'm not. And the whole giving teachers alcohol because they have to 'cope' with your children is quite frankly toxic. Alcohol isn't (or shouldn't be) a coping mechanism.
Don't buy us anything, just help us campaign for better funding for education and support services.

agree…I used to work in schools and lots of teachers didn’t drink alcohol much or even at all. (I was a support staff /ESL instructor if that counts and didn’t drink. ) Absurd for anyone to suggest most or all teachers are big drinkers.

I get what you mean about people should focus on campaign for better funding…in the meantime what would you think of people buying teachers gift for the classroom if they had a wishlist ? Eg. Specific book titles, art supplies, sports equipment etc?

As a former teacher I've lost count of the number of bottles of wine I received from pupils that had to be regifted. I hate wine but there seems to be an assumption that everybody drinks it. Such a waste of money.

Mate of mine teaches at a girls' public school. He got 20 bottles and all of it good stuff too. Ignore your DD.

This proves nothing.

Good for your friend if they drink or can be bothered re-selling on eBay but the point is it wouldn’t be good for a lot of other teachers who don’t drink or drink only very occasionally. Not to mention recovering alcoholics or those who abstain for religious reasons.
We live in a diverse society and People are different. It’s good to take this into consideration and give a wee bit of thought, it helps avoid waste. Instead of just engaging in mindless consumerism

When I worked in schools I’d much rather have had a nice card and a bookshop or department store voucher OR a gift for the classroom than being burdened with 20 bottles or wine.

What a strange thing to troll about.

@Tighginn Seriously? 🙄

We don't give alcohol because although the vast majority will be responsible drinkers, I think it's inappropriate if you don't know the person well, and there are plenty of other gift options available.
I do have experience of living with an alcoholic though who worked in a school. They would often receive alcohol as end of term gifts and would spend the first few days of the holidays drinking and spoiling their families' happiness. That wouldn't have happened if they'd been given chocolates or a nice mug.

Troll, as I have a different experience to you?