Page 4 | Giving wine as a teacher gift?

LoveRules · 2023-10-07T19:49:12+00:00

AIBU to think my DD (20) is right in her suggesting that to give wine or any alcohol as a thank you gift to someone you don't know very well eg teacher or colleague is irresponsible and inappropriate as they might be, unbeknownst to you, an alcoholic My DP says this is ridiculous and any grown up including alcoholics would be able to cope with such a gift by passing it on etc. and should allowed to make their own decisions about their drinking as they manage to walk past booze in the supermarket every day if they are recovering alcoholics. So the odd gift of a bottle from one or several students or colleagues is acceptable. AIBU in thinking he's not quite understood the challenges faced by recovering alcoholics or IAMBU he's right it's all totally fine?

MoiraRosesBaybay · 07/10/2023 22:11

Thiswayorthatway · 07/10/2023 20:53

What if they don’t like Costa?

Exactly. I got given a £10 Costa voucher and gave it to a homeless man. I don’t like anything Costa do.

piintheski · 07/10/2023 22:12

MoiraRosesBaybay · 07/10/2023 22:11

Exactly. I got given a £10 Costa voucher and gave it to a homeless man. I don’t like anything Costa do.

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Id just rip it up

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/10/2023 22:12

Blanketpolicy · 07/10/2023 21:55

You will not be able to find a single gift that someone won't find an issue with.

A bottle of wine is inoffensive, they will be used to receiving them and will regift if not appropriate. Remember it is the thought that counts not the actual gift.

It is the thought that counts. As such, a bottle of wine etc isn't well thought out.

There are much more inoffensive gifts available.

Lostcotter · 07/10/2023 22:14

Needmorelego · 07/10/2023 21:06

I don't drink alcohol (just don't like it) and to be honest I can't really think of someone I can just "pass it on to".
I have friends/family who do drink but it wouldn't be convenient for me to send a bottle of wine to them (postal costs would be a lot).
I'd prefer a thank you card if I was a teacher.

Same. I moved into a flat and there was a nice welcome pack but one of items was wine and I wished they hadn’t. I don’t get offended though.

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 07/10/2023 22:15

I'm a teacher. Every other teacher I know doesn't really want gifts and we mostly just regift/donate them. The ones I know would be happier with a handwritten note thanking them. Even an email. It's just a massive waste of money.

Lostcotter · 07/10/2023 22:17

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/10/2023 22:09

I live next door to a teacher. She gives me all the end of term wine, gin, cocktails etc. In my opinion...Give the teacher the booze.

In her opinion, it isn't the best choice.

I had to read that twice there - that made me laugh 😂

piintheski · 07/10/2023 22:18

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 07/10/2023 22:15

I'm a teacher. Every other teacher I know doesn't really want gifts and we mostly just regift/donate them. The ones I know would be happier with a handwritten note thanking them. Even an email. It's just a massive waste of money.

I agree totally with this

Lostcotter · 07/10/2023 22:19

I don’t know if all teachers would agree but I think it’d be great if instead of a present they don’t really want /can’t use etc each parent spent £5-10 on getting a new book, or art or sport supplies for the class. Perhaps it could be items off a wish list the teacher creates.

MoiraRosesBaybay · 07/10/2023 22:20

Buy them some Pritt Sticks or post it notes. Guaranteed to use them or be able to trade them on the in school black market

Blanketpolicy · 07/10/2023 22:26

piintheski · 07/10/2023 22:01

well, that is not true, that a bottle of wine is inoffensive, is it! And alcohol in a school is always problematic.

I don't drink, so I don't want it. And I cycle to school, so I can't carry it home.

I would have to find a colleague prepared to take it - one with a car. I did have a colleague I always passed wine to, but he has left now, so I would be well and truly stuck if some one gives me a bottle this year

Not as offensive to me personally as a costa voucher, which I would tear up.

But difficult and inconvieiant to me, certainly

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Parents wont know you cycle so anything of bulk will be an issue for you, but as I said it is the thought that counts.

I used to have a boss years ago who bought the whole department a bottle of bucks fizz every year out her own pocket, I hated the stuff and always discreetly gave it away, but appreciated the kind thought and thanked her for it. It never crossed my mine to consider it offensive, difficult or inconvient, it was just a kind gesture.

Unless you have a tiny school I cant believe there isnt a single adult in your school that would happily take it off your hands for you whether it is teaching, office, canteen or cleaning staff. If it is an issue in your school with lots of excess wine could you arrange for a charity to pick up for raffle prizes or something.

Or ask your school to send a message to parents saying asking they do not send in gifts if they are so difficult.

liveforsummer · 07/10/2023 22:27

@piintheski alcohol in school is not really problematic. We pop it in our lockers or a locked storage cupboard. Same as that stored for tombolas /school fairs etc. we have lots of staff members that cycle to school but often get the bus on the last day of term as it's not just wine that hard to transport. The gift bags of candles, mugs and flowers present exactly the same issue. Approx 99% of our staff team would appreciate this gift and at DD's school I'm friends with a teacher so always check before buying gifts and same there too. Worst comes to worst you can donate or back to a raffle or tombola if you really know no one that might drink it

boscabosco · 07/10/2023 22:29

dortisa · 07/10/2023 20:54

Less likely to cause upset or offence, isn’t it? Hot chocolate / nice smoothie / coffee / tea / cake.

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I'd bin a costa voucher, terrible idea

Derrymum123 · 07/10/2023 22:32

I pass on wine as I do not drink alcohol. I pass on chocolate as I am diabetic. But I thank the parents and pretend I love it. It's the cups that get me or the stationery. Usually put mugs in the staff room for supply staff to use. Stationery put in continuous provision area of my class the next academic year.

liveforsummer · 07/10/2023 22:34

Vouchers in general aren't the best idea. They are notoriously under used as get forgotten about at a busy time of year then expire. Best teacher stuff takes up space when duplicated. Consumables are best as can always be re purposed/gifted in not to taste imo

GettingStuffed · 07/10/2023 22:34

Towards the end of my dad's teaching career he start working at a school in a very posh area of the city. In previous schools presents tended to be of the selection box variety but in this school it tended to be nice bottles of wine, Chablis or Chateau Neuf du Pape or spirits apparently a swap shop operated in the staff room.

Ragwort · 07/10/2023 22:35

Why the obsession with buying teacher gifts ... as a PP said, a genuine, handwritten thank you card is all that is needed, but so often it's 'easier' to just shove a bottle of wine in with your grocery shopping rather than take the time to write a proper note.

AngelinaFibres · 07/10/2023 22:37

Incognito2023 · 07/10/2023 20:55

Very thoughtful of you and your DD – however, I agree with your DP - they are adults and are capable of passing it on if not wanted.

Otherwise we start saying we cannot give chocolates or biscuits in case they’re on a diet. And cannot give toiletries in case they have sensitive skin.
Where does it end?

When I was a teacher parents would give me bath bombs from Lush. They make my fanny flaps curl up like a roller blind in a gale. It was very kind of them to get me anything at all and I had a friend who absolutely loved them so I gave them to her. She was a TA and on a diet so if a child gave her chocolates she would give them to me. It worked very well for years. It's nice to be thought of and if you give a gift that the teacher can't use ,they can pass it on. I would have loved JL vouchers but a card from a child who has written something personal means more than anything else

piesforever · 07/10/2023 22:39

Always gave wine. Teachers just swap it if they are not a drinker, like you would with a secret Santa type situation.

liveforsummer · 07/10/2023 22:43

Ragwort · 07/10/2023 22:35

Why the obsession with buying teacher gifts ... as a PP said, a genuine, handwritten thank you card is all that is needed, but so often it's 'easier' to just shove a bottle of wine in with your grocery shopping rather than take the time to write a proper note.

I write a note too. My child's teacher is the person that spends the most time with my dc after myself. I like to say thanks

momager1 · 07/10/2023 22:48

Not read the whole thread, but my daughter printed labels.. I cannot remember where she got them done but it was dirt cheap. To cover wine bottle label. It had a picture of both her kids and she gave them to teachers, helpers, principle , office staff. It said around the picture...Merry Christmas from two of the reasons you need a drink. with a picture of both my grandkids. LOL. It was well recieved. I can say that if someone does not drink, easy to pass on. Not a homemade wine, just a bottle from the shop with a new label over the old. This is one of the labels that they have used..with photos of their two kids

piesforever · 07/10/2023 22:48

piintheski · 07/10/2023 20:57

as a cancer patient with a double mastectomy I would find the gift of a costa voucher exceptionally offensive

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Yeah but it's the INTENTION!! Intended to be lovely and cost money!! Not intended to laugh at you, not everyone is aware of every campaign going.

VivaLaVolvo · 07/10/2023 23:00

momager1 · 07/10/2023 22:48

Not read the whole thread, but my daughter printed labels.. I cannot remember where she got them done but it was dirt cheap. To cover wine bottle label. It had a picture of both her kids and she gave them to teachers, helpers, principle , office staff. It said around the picture...Merry Christmas from two of the reasons you need a drink. with a picture of both my grandkids. LOL. It was well recieved. I can say that if someone does not drink, easy to pass on. Not a homemade wine, just a bottle from the shop with a new label over the old. This is one of the labels that they have used..with photos of their two kids

That is really creepy!
Can't be gifted on. Not sure what is in the bottle as the label is covered.
Teachers don't want pictures of your children or craft made by them (sorry but they are not granny)

Moveoverdarlin · 07/10/2023 23:04

I would never give wine or alcohol to a teacher. Just doesn’t seem right.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 07/10/2023 23:06

YABU. I’d turn to alcohol if I’d had to teach 30 kids.

PinkFizz1 · 07/10/2023 23:06

Can I just say I am so fucking SICK of people on this thread saying stupid things like “If they’re an alcoholic I trust them to pass it on/If they don’t drink it’s easy enough to give away”

Fuck me. I’m two years into sobriety, I would be absolutely horrified if someone gave me a ‘gift’ of the one thing I work my arse off every single day to abstain from and then be so unbelievably ignorant that they think it’s easy enough to just pass on.

Educate your damn selves about this. Don’t give alcohol as a ‘gift’. At worst it could compromise someone’s sobriety, (which is the single most precious thing to them let me tell you) and at best it’s normalising giving alcohol as gifts.

Would you give them a 20 pack of Marlboro? No, because it’s totally inappropriate and shouldn’t be promoted. Anyone with an ounce of decency knows that. So why is alcohol any different?