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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this woman rude?

198 replies

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:22

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

OP posts:
ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

WhateverMate · 30/09/2023 15:24

Not if you didn’t want to, no.

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/09/2023 15:26

Ignore

WhateverMate · 30/09/2023 15:26

It feels like there’s been more dog posts on MN these last few weeks, than there has been for years.

OhYetAnotherBrickInTheWall · 30/09/2023 15:26

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

Eh? It was a dog friendly cafe and the dog sat under the table. How is the OP suggesting her dog is more important? The other people should chose a cafe where dogs aren’t welcome.

AgnesX · 30/09/2023 15:27

Since the cafe was dog friendly (they let you in didn't they) I would have, at best, told them so but more likely, would have told them so with "button it with the passive aggression and sod off if you don't like it"" added for good measure.

Feelinglow27 · 30/09/2023 15:28

They were idiots. Plenty of dog free places for people to go to.

Don't spend another second thinking about it

midgemadgemodge · 30/09/2023 15:28

No because she wasn't talking to you just about you and she is allowed to think that way

stayathomer · 30/09/2023 15:29

Dog friendly cafes are very up front about being happy with dogs being in. Sorry they ruined your food op!

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:29

midgemadgemodge · 30/09/2023 15:28

No because she wasn't talking to you just about you and she is allowed to think that way

Agree she can think what she likes but is it not rude to talk loudly about the person sat right next to you? If she was commenting on my weight or appearance, would that have been acceptable?

OP posts:
CountessKathleen · 30/09/2023 15:31

At the moment, about half the posts on Mn are ‘How can I take my dog to cafés or in a plane cabin / not travel to the christening/hen/wedding I’m invited to /not contribute to a class present kitty / call my child Tarquin Farquin while making sure everyone calls him Tatts /make my recent widower boyfriend introduce me to his children etc etc while ensuring that absolutely everyone who witnesses or hears about or is involved in these situations approves of me and my decisions.

Not everyone is going to be fine with any of your decisions, and you will need to deal with it.

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 30/09/2023 15:32

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

???? How very odd!

Snowflake2023 · 30/09/2023 15:32

AgnesX · 30/09/2023 15:27

Since the cafe was dog friendly (they let you in didn't they) I would have, at best, told them so but more likely, would have told them so with "button it with the passive aggression and sod off if you don't like it"" added for good measure.

Edited

Wow you're a real badass 😂😂😂

They probably would have just laughed if you said this.

SM4713 · 30/09/2023 15:32

So instead of smiling and asking them if they has a problem with your dog, in a DOG FRIENDLY CAFE!!!!!- you sat there seething and are now asking the question on MN???

5128gap · 30/09/2023 15:32

Yes they were rude. Dogs are allowed in the cafe and that's that. They should either complain about that to the owner or find another cafe. Certainly not make someone uncomfortable for doing something they were entitled to do.
And I say this as both a dog owner and a person who doesn't think dogs belong in cafes.

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:34

@SM4713 I don't like confrontation, and that would surely have made my meal even more uncomfortable wouldn't it?

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 30/09/2023 15:35

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

Nah, it's a 'some people are arseholes' thread. It's good that you arrived so quickly, we need your expertise.

FarEast · 30/09/2023 15:36

No you shouldn’t have. I’m a dog lover but I’m never sure that it’s OK to have a dog in a cafe. Other people might be scared of dogs or allergic.

It’s one of those times when you need to realise that your right to bring in your dog is overpowering their right to their preference for a dog-free cafe. And just suck up their disapproval.

Tangled123 · 30/09/2023 15:36

I agree with them but you should have either ignored them, told them to be quiet or put in earphones if they were annoying you that much.

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/09/2023 15:37

It was a DOG FRIENDLY cafe.

Mumof2teens79 · 30/09/2023 15:38

Dog friendly? Dog tolerant or aimed at Dog owners?
As a person without a Dog how would you know its Dog friendly??
I tend to agree, while it's useful to have places you can take a dog, of everywhere is dog friendly how are you meant to avoid?

AgnesX · 30/09/2023 15:38

Snowflake2023 · 30/09/2023 15:32

Wow you're a real badass 😂😂😂

They probably would have just laughed if you said this.

Show quote history

Undoubtedly....but saying something is better than nothing. You think that it was ok for them to sit there and be bitchy??

Mercurial123 · 30/09/2023 15:40

It seems you were dining next to some Mumsnetters?

vodkaredbullgirl · 30/09/2023 15:40

Mercurial123 · 30/09/2023 15:40

It seems you were dining next to some Mumsnetters?

I was thinking that too 😃

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:43

Mumof2teens79 · 30/09/2023 15:38

Dog friendly? Dog tolerant or aimed at Dog owners?
As a person without a Dog how would you know its Dog friendly??
I tend to agree, while it's useful to have places you can take a dog, of everywhere is dog friendly how are you meant to avoid?

So I used to sit outside with my dog. I go there a lot. Then one time the owner came over and made a huge fuss of my dog and said 'you know you can bring him inside?'

OP posts: