Was this woman rude?

[SleeplessinSeattle69]

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

Not remotely offended if someone doesn't want to eat near my dog.

In fact I couldn't give a shit.

I don't however want to sit next to people being intentionally rude and offensive about it, theres no need - they can move, choose another restaurant, or they can keep their views to themselves.

Out in the real world many many people are pissed off with dogs everywhere and the narrative being spun by some self entitled dog owners that their dogs should be welcomed anywhere and anyone who objects to this is a dog hater, or intolerant or whatever.

Maybe those two women didn't handle the situation very well but they're representative of many frustrated people who are just fed up of staying quiet and saying nothing.
The denial among some dog owners is unbelievable; no one in the real world objects; all these stories of annoying dog owners letting their dogs pester other people are untrue; no dogs bark in restaurants of poo in shopping centres.
Not to mention a poster who flat out denies that there are any signs in public parks saying dogs must be kept on a lead, so dogs running around off lead in parks is totally acceptable.
Surely you can understand why some people have had enough?

SM4713

So instead of smiling and asking them if they has a problem with your dog, in a DOG FRIENDLY CAFE!!!!!- you sat there seething and are now asking the question on MN???
I’d have done the same, you make a comment, they get ratty back or they act like you’re starting something and next thing the whole cafe is just wishing you’d all leave!!!

Toomanythalias
But if it says dog friendly on the outside it means the owners are welcoming your dog in!

@Toomanythalias

Hardly any dog owners do want to take their dogs everywhere. OP was in a dog friendly cafe. How is her being there self entitled? It is dog haters going to dog friendly cafes and complaining about dogs being there that are entitled. And people saying that all cafes should be dog free purely because I don't like them that are entitled too. As I have said in previous posts, I live in a town that is dog daft but we still have a good selection of dog free establishments, so it is not like there is nowhere else to go.

Dog haters frequenting dog friendly cafes seems to be their latest protest about the existence of dogs.

@stayathomer

If I came on here to complain about somebody kicking off because they couldn't take their dog into a dog free cafe, I would get barrels and barrels of sympathy and the dog owner would be called every name under the sun. And rightly so really.

And yet someone complains about people going to a dog friendly cafe and complaining about dogs being present are told that they are the one being entitled. Beggars belief.

Once again, I did not deny there are signs saying dogs must be kept on a lead, in play areas or near them. Or, indeed, dogs are not allowed in play areas. What I did rebut, on yet another (weird) dog hating thread, was that I have never seen signs that prohibit dogs from being let off a lead, in parks, full stop.

So dog owners, in your world, are expected to not take advantage of the expansive Park land. Dog owners pay their council tax and are entitled (that word you seem obsessed with) to let their dog have proper exercise.

Hear hear, and these posters have the nerve to call dog owners entitled!

If she was commenting on my weight or appearance, would that have been acceptable?

But she wasn't. She was talking about how she didn't like dog friendly cafes. Maybe she was being rude, but saying you don't like dogs in cafes is not comparable to loudly calling someone fat and ugly.

It's still passive aggressive. Amazing how far some are going to excuse the rude women.

OP, if this happens again, just tell them to direct their exaggerated angst to the owner. Owners let dogs in at their discretion so entitled idiots can vote with their feet.

@Hersecretserviceyourmaj I didn't excuse her, I just don't think it's comparable to insulting someone's weight. I don't think OP's comment of "well if she was insulting my weight, would that be ok?" is really relevant.

Fair enough

Yes!

I don’t take my dog everywhere with me, but if I’m out with her and I come across a dog friendly cafe or pub, chances are, I’ll pop in. Taking my dog somewhere she’s allowed to be is not entitled.

I was walking on the tiny bit of beach where dogs are allowed with my (on lead) dog yesterday when some random woman starts ranting at me because her son was scared of dogs - I pointed out this was the tiny bit of the beach where dogs were allowed so perhaps she’d like to take herself off to the 3/4s of the beach where they weren’t. I wasn’t the entitled one in that situation

My friend owns a cafe near our local beach. This time of year is dead. She was considering closing over winter, but decided to trial welcoming dogs. Her trade has increased massively.

"Can I ask why you'd choose a dog-friendly cafe if you hate dogs so much?" engage Paddington hard stare

Nice but I wouldn’t say ‘can I ask?’, they will just say, no, you can’t ask.

Maybe they didn't realise it was a cafe which was happy to allow dogs in.

Regardless, talking loudly enough about it when you were within earshot was a bit rude, but you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Just say "excuse me, did you know that this cafe is happy to let dogs in" or something similar.

Oh, the women were well aware that my dog was welcome. The waitress came over and offered to get him a bowl of water. But still they continued to bang on.

They're rude yes. If you don't like dogs being in cafes, don't go to cafes who allow dogs... going and then moaning about it so the owner can hear us rude as hell

They can ban dogs in their cafe. It's quite simple.

@MistyBay

But if they are happy allowing dogs in, why should they ban them just because some people don't like them. There are other cafes for people who don't like dogs to use. Expecting cafe owners to ban dogs just because you don't like them reeks of self entitlement.

Me too.. well said

It's not quite simple at all, giving that it's the owners' choice in the first place. You can ban yourself, instead.

All day long 🐕