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Original poster

Was this woman rude?

198 replies

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:22

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

OP posts:
SVFXHMX42 · 01/10/2023 09:07

Mumof2teens79 · 30/09/2023 15:38

Dog friendly? Dog tolerant or aimed at Dog owners?
As a person without a Dog how would you know its Dog friendly??
I tend to agree, while it's useful to have places you can take a dog, of everywhere is dog friendly how are you meant to avoid?

Well usually there's a dog bowl outside and a sign saying "Dog Friendly". There's no secret code.

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 09:14

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 01:13

You haven't mentioed the hygiene issue.

Show quote history

Why do I have to mention the “hygiene issue” people can dislike dogs being in public indoor spaces for a variety of reasons.

My main point was dogs are found too frequently in places that IMO they have no business being. Many dog owners also agree with this.

But in terms of hygiene I doubt it’s service dogs that are fouling indoor spaces or jumping on on seats or licking random passer-bys but even if they were, less dogs in cafes etc (ie. limiting it to service dogs) = less risk of this happening.

A shopping centre in Glasgow has always allowed service dogs (of course) . They opened it up to pets and it was a mess…literally 🤮😂 I remember when their dog free trial policy was announced, many people on their Facebook page including dog lovers /dog owners were saying it was a bad idea and they weren’t going to be taking their pets to it.

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/silverburn-shopping-centres-dog-friendly-scheme-in-glasgow-to-end-after-low-uptake-and-complaints-about-mess-12806658

Silverburn Shopping Centre's dog-friendly scheme in Glasgow to end after 'low uptake' and complaints about mess

One woman reported spotting "absolutely disgusting" dog mess in the food court on her way to work, while another shopper claimed to have noticed urine on a clothing rail. Assistance dogs will continue to be welcome at the complex.

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/silverburn-shopping-centres-dog-friendly-scheme-in-glasgow-to-end-after-low-uptake-and-complaints-about-mess-12806658

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 09:23

I must add one slightly good thing about that trial is because not all shops in the mall participated in the dog free trial, the ones that did participate had a symbol on their window to let people know that it was dog friendly which was no doubt somewhat helpful for those who dislike / fear dogs and dog lovers and everyone else in between.

However all the communal /open areas of the mall and food court were all dog friendly though, so you couldn’t quite avoid them totally even if you wanted to.

SVFXHMX42 · 01/10/2023 09:31

Businesses exist to make money. It's very obvious where I live (out in the sticks) that dog friendly cafés are a lot busier than the ones that aren't. One place locally put a post on their fb page saying, due to a couple of incidents regretfully they were no longer dog friendly. That lasted about 4 months as their footfall fell off a cliff. The café owner may not even like dogs, but realise it's a bit daft to turn away so much potential custom.

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 01/10/2023 09:39

Cafe owner has her own dog, same breed as mine. Pretty sure she's a dog lover.

On another note, our local pub prefers dogs to kids!

OP posts:
PortalooSunset · 01/10/2023 10:24

Yes she was rude, but also yes you were right to keep quiet.

DinnaeFashYersel · 01/10/2023 10:26

I have every sympathy for those women cause dogs in cafes are rank.

But they were in a dog friendly place so they should have kept quiet and go somewhere else the next time.

vivainsomnia · 01/10/2023 10:30

I would have moved to another table and ignore them. As all threads about dogs show here, some people feel that they are entitled to be have bad manners when it comes to dogs even when you are doing nothing wrong.

CherryMaDeara · 01/10/2023 10:31

Why didn’t you tell her it’s a dog friendly cafe?

So tired of all these after-the-event threads asking ‘if I should have said something’.

Get some fire in your belly and answer back.

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 01/10/2023 11:59

vivainsomnia · 01/10/2023 10:30

I would have moved to another table and ignore them. As all threads about dogs show here, some people feel that they are entitled to be have bad manners when it comes to dogs even when you are doing nothing wrong.

There were no other tables - the place was full.

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 01/10/2023 12:01

Yes its rude and also spineless. I hate when people do this. Just talk to the person you have a problem with directly or don't talk about them at all

Fallenangelofthenorth · 01/10/2023 12:06

There can't be that many dog friendly cafes where you live surely? I'd have thought it would be a lot easier for them to find a dog free place than it is for you to find a dog friendly place? Yes, they were rude though. If they had a problem they should have taken it up with the owner rather than talking loudly about you.

TattyOne · 01/10/2023 12:12

If you'd have gone in with 3 screaming obnoxious kids running around and knocking things off tables etc. the 2 creepy old bags would have been over you like a rash!

But they moan about 1 little quiet well behaved doggy?

Pair of weirdos they are!

jacksonlamb · 01/10/2023 12:42

I think there is a real problem with unclear signage. For example, I thought Costa was meant to be guide/support dogs only. Yesterday during the time I was in there (about 15 minutes), 2 dog owners came in and stayed in with their dogs.

I'm scared of dogs and thought that Costa was one of the few remaining places I could visit, so I had a look at the door to check for signage on the way out. There was a tiny sign saying guide dogs only.

It would be helpful for all parties, both pro and anti dog, if business owners could put up large clear signs at the front. Then we'd all be able to find somewhere to go and feel content.

SVFXHMX42 · 01/10/2023 13:34

jacksonlamb · 01/10/2023 12:42

I think there is a real problem with unclear signage. For example, I thought Costa was meant to be guide/support dogs only. Yesterday during the time I was in there (about 15 minutes), 2 dog owners came in and stayed in with their dogs.

I'm scared of dogs and thought that Costa was one of the few remaining places I could visit, so I had a look at the door to check for signage on the way out. There was a tiny sign saying guide dogs only.

It would be helpful for all parties, both pro and anti dog, if business owners could put up large clear signs at the front. Then we'd all be able to find somewhere to go and feel content.

I agree, even though I'm a dog lover and owner. Far too many people taking their dogs into places were it's clearly signed - no dogs unless guide dog. We were in a large garden centre yesterday and there were clear signs in the food hall, yet we spotted 2 dogs in there that clearly were not guide dogs. Businesses need to enforce restrictions and then everyone knows where they stand.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 18:05

Boomboom22 · 01/10/2023 08:35

For the extremely hard of thinking, children are human and not comparable to dogs, they have rights over a dog always. All humans.
And of course guide dogs are unhygienic but they are better trained, never jump up and are necessary for a disabled human, that is why they are tolerated.

So you've admitted guide dogs are unhygienic. That renders the rest of your rant(s) redundant.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 18:06

TattyOne · 01/10/2023 12:12

If you'd have gone in with 3 screaming obnoxious kids running around and knocking things off tables etc. the 2 creepy old bags would have been over you like a rash!

But they moan about 1 little quiet well behaved doggy?

Pair of weirdos they are!

👏 👏 👏

Elfandwellbeing · 01/10/2023 18:12

Not everyone wants to eat/dine with your dog, no need to be offended.

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2023 18:15

Boomboom22 · 01/10/2023 08:35

For the extremely hard of thinking, children are human and not comparable to dogs, they have rights over a dog always. All humans.
And of course guide dogs are unhygienic but they are better trained, never jump up and are necessary for a disabled human, that is why they are tolerated.

@Boomboom22

No one is saying that dogs have more rights over humans. They are just saying that dog owners (who are human) have the RIGHT to take their dog into a dog friendly cafe if they want to, without dog haters behaving like twats towards them.

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2023 18:16

@Elfandwellbeing

Well those people who don't want to dine in the same buildingg as dogs can go and eat in a cafe that doesn't allow dogs can't they?

MissingMoominMamma · 01/10/2023 18:19

donquixotedelamancha · 30/09/2023 15:35

Nah, it's a 'some people are arseholes' thread. It's good that you arrived so quickly, we need your expertise.

Show quote history

Excellent post!! 👏 👏 👏

SkyeBlue28 · 01/10/2023 18:30

It was very rude of them to speak like that in front of you. It’s a dog friendly cafe and your dog was behaving so I don’t see their point at all.
I’m not a dog person so I would choose to go to a different cafe but no way would I act the way those women did.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 18:46

Elfandwellbeing · 01/10/2023 18:12

Not everyone wants to eat/dine with your dog, no need to be offended.

So go to places that aren't dog friendly then YOU won't be offended.

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 01/10/2023 19:43

Elfandwellbeing · 01/10/2023 18:12

Not everyone wants to eat/dine with your dog, no need to be offended.

To be fair it's not like my dog sat up at their table with a knife and fork in his paws 🙄

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 01/10/2023 20:17

Out in the real world, not the MumsNet bubble, its perfectly acceptable to take a well behaved, generally clean and tidy dog to an establishment that welcomes dogs.

Similarly, out in the real world it is fucking rude to behave as these women did. They were passive aggressive, they intended to intimidate and upset you because they had a problem with the presence of a dog.

I would have said 'if you have a problem with my well behaved dog, please take it up with the cafe owner instead of being rude and unpleasant to me!'

I might have been tempted to drop something in there about the dog having better manners than them but if confrontation is not your strong point, best not!