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Original poster

Was this woman rude?

198 replies

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:22

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

OP posts:
Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 23:13

Anewest · 30/09/2023 21:40

Where is everyone living that's overrun with establishments that allow dogs? There are literally none in my immediate local area, and I know of two about half an hour's drive away. One of them is a specific dog cafe too, not a regular cafe that allows dogs.
I'm not a dog owner but I'd like to see more dog friendly places. Maybe it's literally just my area that isn't overrun?!

This. Where I live, the majority of people own dogs. It is an area known nationally for being dog friendly. While there are plenty of cafes and restaurants that allow dogs, there are also plenty that don't. And this is one of the most dog friendly places on Britain, if not the most dog friendly.

Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 23:14

@Abbiemae

If you go to a dog friendly cafe and then complain about the presence of dogs, it isn't the dog owners being entitled.

Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 23:19

@PeggyPiglet

Whether or not you agree with dogs in cafes is besides the point. It was a dog friendly cafe so OP was not doing anything wrong by having her dog with her. Dog owners are called entitled but there seems to be an increase in people who don't like dogs going to dog friendly cafes and complaining about this, sometimes even trying to demand that dog owners leave and trying to force their views about dogs in cafes on us. That is entitled behaviour.

Fair enough if you feel that it is unhygienic. Go to a cafe that doesn't allow dogs. And don't give me that nonsense about it being too hard to find one. I live in the most dog friendly town in Englabd and we still have our fair share of eating establishments that don't allow dogs.

bluegreygreen · 01/10/2023 00:42

They were rude.

They were also correct. Dogs should not be in cafes/restaurants. It's unhygienic. It's also making life miserable for increasing numbers of people.

A family member has coeliac disease, and asthma. As you can imagine, finding a cafe where there are good gluten-free options can be difficult. We recently drove to a nearby town to find a recommended place. The food was lovely, but we hadn't realised the place was dog-friendly. We had to finish and leave quickly, and family member was unwell for the rest of the day.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 00:46

PeggyPiglet · 30/09/2023 19:27

Dogs shouldn't be in cafes though. Full stop.
It's unhygienic. I don't care how well behaved your dog is. They shouldn't be there.

Yea they probably were a bit rude, but I don't blame them for at least thinking that way.

Most cafes are dog friendly now. Why should they have to scrape around trying to find one that isn't?

I take it you have a problem with assistance dogs, as you are highlighting dogs' hygiene per se. Your last sentence is pure entitlement.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 00:47

bluegreygreen · 01/10/2023 00:42

They were rude.

They were also correct. Dogs should not be in cafes/restaurants. It's unhygienic. It's also making life miserable for increasing numbers of people.

A family member has coeliac disease, and asthma. As you can imagine, finding a cafe where there are good gluten-free options can be difficult. We recently drove to a nearby town to find a recommended place. The food was lovely, but we hadn't realised the place was dog-friendly. We had to finish and leave quickly, and family member was unwell for the rest of the day.

..and if the dog had been a service dog?

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 00:54

5128gap · 30/09/2023 15:32

Yes they were rude. Dogs are allowed in the cafe and that's that. They should either complain about that to the owner or find another cafe. Certainly not make someone uncomfortable for doing something they were entitled to do.
And I say this as both a dog owner and a person who doesn't think dogs belong in cafes.

This.

The women were being passive aggressive and targeting the wrong person, so yes they were being very rude and I also don’t like dogs in cafe .

They’d have been better leaving a review or writing to the cafe management about it and asking them to rethink it. I actually do think not enough cafe managers are aware many people don’t want dogs in food places so they just see it as a money earner that will please all their customers.

however to the poster who said cafes are upfront about if dogs are allowed that’s not always the case, especially if you don’t follow their social media page . If you don’t think to ask and you don’t see a dog in there when you walk in you might not even know.

I feel that’s part of the issue and every cafe/restaurant should have some kind of sticker indicating if they are dog friendly or not so people can make a choice that suits them.

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 01:00

For the people going on about assistance dogs that entirely different. Firstly it’s necessary, secondly I’ve never came across a badly behaved one and thirdly - and this one is most significant- because there are only a certain amount of service dogs, when it was just them allowed in cafes it was a rare occasions to find dogs in cafes and restaurants.

Now non-service dogs as well as service dogs are allowed in food places (banks, libraries, bookshops) and dog ownership is on the rise you see them (pet dogs) far too often.

I can’t recall the last time I saw a service dog in a train or cafe but I see pet dogs in them all the time so you don’t get a break from them and as someone said you are almost relegated to hunting out the few cafes which don’t allow them.

In my town the only place I know they’re not allowed is the Costa.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 01/10/2023 01:13

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 01:00

For the people going on about assistance dogs that entirely different. Firstly it’s necessary, secondly I’ve never came across a badly behaved one and thirdly - and this one is most significant- because there are only a certain amount of service dogs, when it was just them allowed in cafes it was a rare occasions to find dogs in cafes and restaurants.

Now non-service dogs as well as service dogs are allowed in food places (banks, libraries, bookshops) and dog ownership is on the rise you see them (pet dogs) far too often.

I can’t recall the last time I saw a service dog in a train or cafe but I see pet dogs in them all the time so you don’t get a break from them and as someone said you are almost relegated to hunting out the few cafes which don’t allow them.

In my town the only place I know they’re not allowed is the Costa.

Edited

You haven't mentioed the hygiene issue.

Downunderduchess · 01/10/2023 01:24

I would have started a conversation with my dog about how stupid some people are to choose a dog friendly cafe if they don’t like dogs. If she can talk about you to her companion then so can you with yours.

BabyFireflyx · 01/10/2023 02:38

Downunderduchess · 01/10/2023 01:24

I would have started a conversation with my dog about how stupid some people are to choose a dog friendly cafe if they don’t like dogs. If she can talk about you to her companion then so can you with yours.

This. Next time: "Ooh these silly people (pointed look)
They must think I’m deaf, talking so loudly about us and being very rude. I’m sure if they had a real issue they'd have the balls to come over here and speak to us (long maintained eye contact)... how silly!"
If they approach put them straight.
If they don't, set the dog on them chuckle and use dogs paw to wave them bye bye

roseheartfly · 01/10/2023 03:10

So rude and mean.

It's horrid when people do this kind of thing regardless of the reason why (dog hate or otherwise).

You can either stand up for yourself and shame them 'you do know I can hear your comments intended for me.. and just so you know you've been successful in making me feel uncomfortable. I hope your day improves now you've hurt a total stranger with your playground antics'.

Tell your dog loudly that some people don't like dogs because they are bitches themselves.

Or, what id do, is ignore them entirely.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 01/10/2023 03:28

They were rude but it can't be that obvious that it is a dog friendly cafe if you didn't even know before the owner told you.
I think it should be really clear, I personally avoid places with dogs as ds is scared of them.

autienotnaughty · 01/10/2023 03:58

I would have said "why have you come to a dog friendly cafe if it offends you so much? Do you feel better for trying to spoil my meal and make me uncomfortable?"

Tourmalines · 01/10/2023 04:15

They were bitches .

Tara336 · 01/10/2023 06:51

I would add to my previous comments, where is the hygiene issue? If a dog is well behaved, walks in sits under the table or quietly on the owners lap (if it's a tiny handbag dog) where and how is it causing a hygiene issue?

As long as its not walking over the cafe table, licking plates or popping into the kitchen to raid the fridge I can't see how it's any less hygienic then anything that's coming in on people's shoes.

Most people these days have non shedding dogs so no issue there and I've never found hair in my food or drink because someone is sitting on the other side of a cafe with their labrador.

i don't think dog owners are being entitled either, a service has been offered that they have chosen to use. As I said upthread the wrong people are being blamed here.

I've never been bothered by someone's dog in a cafe, I have however, been bothered by children running around screaming and jumping on and off chairs, but annoying as it is when your in a public place you will come across these things. I just make a note of it and think won't go there again and find somewhere else to try.

Boomboom22 · 01/10/2023 08:35

For the extremely hard of thinking, children are human and not comparable to dogs, they have rights over a dog always. All humans.
And of course guide dogs are unhygienic but they are better trained, never jump up and are necessary for a disabled human, that is why they are tolerated.

MistyBay · 01/10/2023 08:38

I agree we must never compare dogs to kids. Why people feel the need to do this is beyond me. In this case if dogs are allowed in the cafe then you should be allowed to bring your dog. However, it should be on the floor at all times and not on your lap or whatever. Yes the women were being rude. They should take it up with the cafe owner and not sit there complaining.

Prescottdanni123 · 01/10/2023 08:43

@MistyBay

What would you want the cafe owner to respond with though?

40andlovelife · 01/10/2023 08:44

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

You sound delightful

Motherlandatemyhomework · 01/10/2023 08:46

Downunderduchess · 01/10/2023 01:24

I would have started a conversation with my dog about how stupid some people are to choose a dog friendly cafe if they don’t like dogs. If she can talk about you to her companion then so can you with yours.

This

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 01/10/2023 08:49

Well personally I prefer my dog to human children but that's my choice, isn't it?

OP posts:
ChocolateCakeOverspill · 01/10/2023 08:52

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 01/10/2023 08:49

Well personally I prefer my dog to human children but that's my choice, isn't it?

Same here, not my own kids or grandkids (although maybe sometimes) but definitely other people’s.

I also don’t see this huge influx of dogs people complain about.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 01/10/2023 09:01

I have a dog and at times we do take him to a cafe which is dog friendly. They have a sign on the door which states they are dog friendly as do most dog friendly cafes.
If we had our dog and there was no obvious sign it was dog friendly we would not go in, even to ask. I would assume people who do not want to eat with dogs around can see those same signs and make a decision if they want to go in or not.

OP it would really annoy me if someone went on like this. As dog owners we find looking for a dog friendly cafe is really difficult at times most definitely fewer cafes accept them than dont. Where we live it's obviously not as common as other areas according to MN where dogs seem to be accepted in every single eating establishment!!

Backagain2 · 01/10/2023 09:01

IAmAnIdiot123 · 01/10/2023 03:28

They were rude but it can't be that obvious that it is a dog friendly cafe if you didn't even know before the owner told you.
I think it should be really clear, I personally avoid places with dogs as ds is scared of them.

Edited

Yes that’s the problem. I’d love a nationwide scheme for hospitality which means all dog friendly places display a paw sticker in their window. Problem solved! You won’t get people wandering in with dogs to dog free places and you won’t get people scared of dogs in dog friendly people.

I like when I book hotels through booking dot com there’s always a clear statement under “hotel policies” that states dog friendly or pets not allowed. It makes it a lot easier. OTOH I was going to a vegan restaurant recently and it wasn’t obviously dog friendly. Luckily I read a review on trip advisor that said they were disgusted by dogs playing on the tables (as in paws on table) and staff not doing anything about it. So I decided to swerve the place.