Was this woman rude?

[SleeplessinSeattle69]

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

A dog-friendly cafe would be a strange place for someone who was scared or allergic to go for lunch.

There are tons of places to go without a dog.

We’ll of course you should have said something to them! They were sat there being rude to you. Are you usually this passive? There’s confrontation and then there’s just plain sticking up for yourself.

There really aren't tons of places to go without dogs these days.

There needs to be the requirement to clearly signpost that dogs are welcome so people can make a choice. That would solve the problem.

If a business chooses to allow dogs on their premises, dog owners will quite reasonably take advantage of that if they want too. The two miseries needed to tell the cafe owner they disagree with the policy and take their business elsewhere, not sit there being rude to or about another patron of the cafe. Personally I have no problem with dog friendly places.

Oh do fork off!! I’d much rather “snell” a dog and hear him breathe than have to look at and smell a baby that has food smeared all over itself and has shat its diaper. 🤮

I’m really intrigued as to where all these places that are over run by dogs are? Dogs have always been allowed in pubs, that’s nothing new and I’ve really not noticed any more in cafes or coffee shops 🤷‍♀️

Your choice

Several cafes near me aren't dog-friendly and say so, yet people still bring their dogs in anyway.

Had a coffee with a friend last week. Didn't hugely enjoy seeing the women at the next table holding their dogs on their knees, hand-feeding them from the table and kissing them on the mouths.

It's one of those things that I would just ignore and stick my headphones in. If they want to ruin their meal fixating on a dog that is their choice but they wouldn't be ruining mine too.

What an odd response, if you have hang ups about stuff which is permitted within the setting the onus is really on you to leave?

If I went for a meal in a pub garden and there were people smoking the onus would be on me to leave. They’re not doing anything wrong.

’Karen’ references started as a way of calling attention to racist, entitled attitudes ( like that women who tried the birdwatcher in trouble). As usual, efforts are made to drown out the original intention and water it down to defeat the original cause. Yes there should be a male version.

So the onus of on the cafe owner to kick them out.

Ignoring them was a perfectly good choice. They might up the drama and then its even more stressful.

For what its worth, I'm not a dog person but I find it cute when there's one peeping out from under a table in a cafe. As long as it's not crapping on the floor, I'm happy for it to breathe in close proximity.

What a load of shite 🤣🤣

If they find dogs disgusting, they're free to go somewhere they're not allowed.

I have never encountered so many people getting their jimmies so vigorously rustled over dogs as on Mumsnet. It's the only reason I read dog threads. The absolute melodrama is magical.

I know and it's so weird that there's been a massive increase in dog threads the last couple of weeks.

When someone wanted to start a bun fight, they used to start a breast v formula thread or one about using toilets for the disabled.

Many homophobic slurs started during an era when homosexuality was illegal as a way of calling attention to those breaking the law. Those slurs then went on to be used to belittle and shame people.

Using name calling to highlight any behaviour isn't okay as it's reductive in nature and enforces a cancel culture.

Name calling is never okay. If someone is racist, then call out the racism.

It’s quite fun though to watch people getting so het up about what’s really a non existent issue. I never really knew how many people had such a hatred of dogs 🤷‍♀️

Too late now but: "you're obviously not aware that the cafe owner welcomes dogs, which inevitably means that one may get stuck next to some bitches as well...."

@Boomboom22

get away with you, clues in the ‘it’s a dog friendly cafe’

if YOU don’t want to eat near a dog then YOU don’t have to use a dog friendly cafe

So why didn’t you use your voice? ‘Are you referring to me? Because this is a cafe that welcomes dogs - you might want to go somewhere else next time if it makes you feel uncomfortable”

I think this is something the owners of the establishment should have dealt with. I wouldn’t have confronted them directly.

Whilst “dog friendly” should be visible enough that dog owners are aware and can make the decision to visit, it should also be visible enough to allow people who don’t want to sit with dogs to make the decision not to visit. Were the other guests aware that dogs are allowed in? Did the cafe owner half-ass their marketing of dog friendly to maximise profit? That’s the logical explanation of how people uncomfortable with dogs end up next to dogs after all.

Some people want confrontation, which is probably why they were talking loud enough for OP to hear.

If OP had said something she may be giving them exactly what they wanted.

Perhaps they were trying to goad her into
an argument so she’d be told to leave.

I think your response is perfect for if she encounters them again.

Where ‘else’ can people go though? There aren’t any dog free cafes now. If you are allergic to dog fur it’s horrible.

Oooh I was thinking that in my head reading this