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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this woman rude?

198 replies

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:22

Just been for lunch in my local (dog friendly) cafe. Took my small, well behaved dog with me. When we went in, the two women on the table next to us looked at my dog and rolled their eyes, then started talking loudly for several minutes about how dogs should not be in cafés. I was sat right next to them, feeling like I should pretend I couldn't hear them. It was awkward. They spent the whole time looking at my dog and me, and shooting us filthy looks.

I will add that my dog sat quietly under the table and didn't go near them. Didn't bother anyone. I felt uncomfortable because they were being so vocal.

Should I have said something to them?

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 30/09/2023 18:09

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:34

@SM4713 I don't like confrontation, and that would surely have made my meal even more uncomfortable wouldn't it?

If you wouldn't have said anything anyway because you want to avoid confrontation, I'm afraid there's no point in asking whether you should have said something!

You could have told them that the owner gave you permission to bring your dog in, but it looks as though you're just not comfortable speaking up.

Gnomegnomegnome · 30/09/2023 18:11

You should have had a loud conversation with your dog about how rude they were.

As this thread proves, people are twats.

assietplat · 30/09/2023 18:30

SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 15:34

@SM4713 I don't like confrontation, and that would surely have made my meal even more uncomfortable wouldn't it?

I wouldn't have bothered to confront them. Well behaved dog sitting in dog friendly café. They should complain to the owners if they dislike it, and not attempt to spoil the meals of diners with rude, passive aggressive comments.

sofasunday · 30/09/2023 18:32

Gnomegnomegnome · 30/09/2023 18:11

You should have had a loud conversation with your dog about how rude they were.

As this thread proves, people are twats.

Sounds passive aggressive

Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 18:47

@xyz111

But it was a dog friendly cafe? If you have allergies, you should go to an cafe that doesn't take dogs.

Abbimae · 30/09/2023 18:54

Because non dog owners are absolutely sick of dog owner entitlement

Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 18:55

@Boomboom22

Basic maths dictates that kids are not dying weekly from dogs.

If you hate dogs that much, than you could always ask if it is a dog friendly place. That would be better than sitting down in a dog friendly cafe and then bitch about dog owners bringing their pets in, because frankly, that just makes you sound ridiculous.

DreamTheMoors · 30/09/2023 19:07

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 15:24

Oh god it’s another ‘my dog is more important than you’ post ….

Oh god it’s another ‘the point has sailed right over my head’ comment.

DreamTheMoors · 30/09/2023 19:15

Abbimae · 30/09/2023 18:54

Because non dog owners are absolutely sick of dog owner entitlement

Then go to a restaurant or cafe that isn’t dog-friendly, @Abbimae
It’s not veterinary science.

ThisIsHardToPick · 30/09/2023 19:21

@ASCCM why do you hate dogs so much?

ASCCM · 30/09/2023 19:23

ThisIsHardToPick · 30/09/2023 19:21

@ASCCM why do you hate dogs so much?

Hahah I really don’t, it’s just that there been a tonne of threads basically the same and that is that people aren’t as important as dogs.

To me, dogs are dogs ( wouldn’t have one but some are cute) , they are not more important than humans and shouldn’t be allowed everywhere and anywhere.

Anewest · 30/09/2023 19:24

Abbimae · 30/09/2023 18:54

Because non dog owners are absolutely sick of dog owner entitlement

Then why do they insist on going to dog friendly venues? 😂

PeggyPiglet · 30/09/2023 19:27

Dogs shouldn't be in cafes though. Full stop.
It's unhygienic. I don't care how well behaved your dog is. They shouldn't be there.

Yea they probably were a bit rude, but I don't blame them for at least thinking that way.

Most cafes are dog friendly now. Why should they have to scrape around trying to find one that isn't?

SnowflakeCity · 30/09/2023 19:35

Most cafes are dog friendly now. Why should they have to scrape around trying to find one that isn't?

Because they don't want to eat somewhere that there is dogs Confused

crumpetbutton · 30/09/2023 19:46

This thread is silly 🙄 the cafe allowed dogs...the women were horrid. Do people (non dog owners) not realise that folks eat and drink at home with their dogs and don't get sick 🙄 if you're allergic- avoid. Agreed that cafes and other dog friendly establishments should be transparent though

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 20:39

Mix of opinions, lots of dog haters. Should have expected that really. Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
FoodCentre · 30/09/2023 20:50

I was in a non-dog cafe and a man mistakenly brought his very well mannered dog in. The women on the next table looked him up and down and quite abrasive Lyn told him it's not allowed here.

Even if someone has made a mistake, there's a way to talk to people.

Talking about people in front of their face is always rude. YANBU op, of course. You did nothing wrong! You didn't impose your dog on anyone, you were Ina dog friendly venue!

Toomanythalias · 30/09/2023 21:25

There seems to be hardly anywhere you can go nowadays without bloody dogs making an appearance. A lot of people are becoming totally frustrated with this and are starting to make their feelings felt.

There are so many dog owners on here who insist that no one minds their dogs in restaurants, it's only a minority who care etc. But when people make their feelings clear they're 'rude' and 'unreasonable'. It's about time there was a kick back. l

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 30/09/2023 21:37

Toomanythalias · 30/09/2023 21:25

There seems to be hardly anywhere you can go nowadays without bloody dogs making an appearance. A lot of people are becoming totally frustrated with this and are starting to make their feelings felt.

There are so many dog owners on here who insist that no one minds their dogs in restaurants, it's only a minority who care etc. But when people make their feelings clear they're 'rude' and 'unreasonable'. It's about time there was a kick back. l

There are ways and means of making your feelings known in a way which are reasonable, I suspect that your way of making your feelings known is not, given that you describe it as kick back.

I love the fact that the community is now more dog friendly, even if I leave mine at home I have lots of dogs to talk to / play with.

Anewest · 30/09/2023 21:40

Where is everyone living that's overrun with establishments that allow dogs? There are literally none in my immediate local area, and I know of two about half an hour's drive away. One of them is a specific dog cafe too, not a regular cafe that allows dogs.
I'm not a dog owner but I'd like to see more dog friendly places. Maybe it's literally just my area that isn't overrun?!

Toomanythalias · 30/09/2023 21:45

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 30/09/2023 21:37

There are ways and means of making your feelings known in a way which are reasonable, I suspect that your way of making your feelings known is not, given that you describe it as kick back.

I love the fact that the community is now more dog friendly, even if I leave mine at home I have lots of dogs to talk to / play with.

Show quote history

Well you suspect wrong, but I have sympathy with people who are just fed up of it,.

I was sitting in a small restaurant/wine bar recently that also does take out. A couple with a large dog came in and sat at a table in this tiny restaurant waiting for their takeaway. Surely one of them could have waited outside with the dog? There were no other dogs in the place. It's that kind of lack of awareness that is leading to total frustration with self centred dog owners.

Original poster
SleeplessinSeattle69 · 30/09/2023 21:48

@Toomanythalias that's not the scenario that I described though? I wouldn't take my dog into a restaurant whilst waiting for a takeaway.

OP posts:
Toomanythalias · 30/09/2023 21:50

I'm just describing some of the self centred behaviour from dog owners that is leading to a backlash. I'm not saying you were at fault, but with some dog owners it's the usual case of give an inch and take a mile, and then people just get frustrated with all dog owners.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/09/2023 21:53

In this case, I’d say (or I’d like to think I’d say) “this is a dog friendly cafe, that’s why I’m here with Fido”.

But I totally get you feeling awkward and not saying anything. Couldn’t you quietly have mentioned the rude women to someone working there who’d have a word with you?

Prescottdanni123 · 30/09/2023 23:10

@Toomanythalias

The same can be said about cyclists and joggers. Some of them are self absorbed and entitled. And dog haters who go into dog friendly cafes and complain about dog owners and their dogs being there. That has got to be the dictionary definition of entitled.