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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For calling my wife ‘sick’ over her opinion?

220 replies

BenefitDad · 20/09/2023 19:31

She’s of the opinion that’s it’s strange , borderline ‘emotional incest’ and damn right weird, if an adult son takes their mom out for a meal alone, like just the two of them. She considers this ‘dating’

isnt this completely normal?

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 20/09/2023 19:32

Completely normal. Unless it’s candle lit dinner in a restaurant with a reputation for a romantic ambience.

Trinity69 · 20/09/2023 19:32

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Can’t wait until my son is old enough to take me to dinner for a change!

ColleenDonaghy · 20/09/2023 19:33

I would LOVE to know the wife's version of this story Grin

HeartShapedBox · 20/09/2023 19:34

Your wife is really weird Confused

ItstimeToMoveagain · 20/09/2023 19:34

Erm ,no it's fine

EvilElsa · 20/09/2023 19:34

Completely normal and common. What a strange reaction!

Candlelight34 · 20/09/2023 19:35

Not a normal response.
AT ALL

Candlelight34 · 20/09/2023 19:36

Candlelight34 · 20/09/2023 19:35

Not a normal response.
AT ALL

From your wife.
Is she jealous and insecure

Screamingabdabz · 20/09/2023 19:37

it might be a bit weird if she were still married to his dad and dad was not invited…

RudsyFarmer · 20/09/2023 19:37

There’s obviously jealousy at play here.

Mumdiva99 · 20/09/2023 19:37

I really hope my boys grow up to take me to dinner. (And my daughter for that matter).
Surely it's a nice thing to do.

Are you unreasonable for calling your wife sick......it sounds a little harsh choice of words. How do you kormally speak to each other?

Also were you retaliating to her saying you were guilty of incest? If so - how is your relationship normally? Are there issues with your wife and your mum?

applesandmares · 20/09/2023 19:37

Going for a meal with your mum isn't weird but I have a feeling that more context is needed here. Is your mum married? If your mum is single/widowed, does your wife feel like you have taken on that emotional support role for your mother, that would usually be filled by a romantic partner? Does your wife feel like she's in competition with your mother? Is she jealous of the relationship because you don't take her out for meals, or don't put as much effort into the relationship with her?

CarandacheColours · 20/09/2023 19:38

I went out for dinner with my 20y son last night. Nothing romantic about it 🤯
Your wife is very strange.

minipeony · 20/09/2023 19:40

What's the situation between you and your mum. Is the relationship healthy?

ivfbabymomma1 · 20/09/2023 19:40

ColleenDonaghy · 20/09/2023 19:33

I would LOVE to know the wife's version of this story Grin

Grin
declutteringmymind · 20/09/2023 19:42

Is it on Valentine's Day? Or a wedding anniversary? If so then weird. If not then absolutely fine. It's ok for mum and son to also be friends.

EdinaMonsoon · 20/09/2023 19:42

Question OP: is your wife telling you that you are wrong for wanting to do this with your own mother?

Your wife clearly doesn’t understand what truly constitutes incestuous behaviour and if she did she wouldn’t make such a crass comparison. And yes her interpretation of mother & son spending time together over a meal as incestuous is just fucking weird and wrong. I go out for lunch/dinner/drinks regularly with my adult sons and have done since they were teenagers. I have even been on holiday with them individually and they spend time with me without their partners.
We catch up with each other’s lives. It’s no different to when we would sit around the table every evening for supper.

Alwaysdecorating · 20/09/2023 19:44

Is this her attempt at stopping you spending time with your mum?

MartyFunkhouser · 20/09/2023 19:44

I love nothing more than going out for a meal with one or the other of my sons.

We are not dating, however.

EdinaMonsoon · 20/09/2023 19:47

Screamingabdabz · 20/09/2023 19:37

it might be a bit weird if she were still married to his dad and dad was not invited…

Really? I wouldn’t think anything of my sons taking DH out for dinner or drinks without me, nor he if they took just me. We’ve been married 24 years. They’re entitled to spend time and develop their relationship without me and vice versa. That’s completely healthy and normal, surely?!

Fuckingfuming1 · 20/09/2023 19:48

Well as a single mum with sons if I didn’t take them out for dinner, we wouldn’t go out for dinner. I’m not cooking every night just to appease your wife.

DeadbeatYoda · 20/09/2023 19:48

It utterly ridiculous, of course there is nothing wrong with a son and mother going to dinner.
However, I wonder if this is a desperate ( and stupid) comparison raised because there is domineering mother / mummy's boy situation going on.

Tally00 · 20/09/2023 19:49

My adult son still lives at home but we regularly go out for lunch or out for a walk and stop off for a couple of drinks.

It's called family.

I also take my own dad out to treat and spend time with him too.

Wishitsnows · 20/09/2023 19:50

My brother takes my mum to dinner to some fabulous places. It is not weird at all. I often take my mum to dinner too. Sounds like she has some warped thinking

BoohooWoohoo · 20/09/2023 19:51

I'm a single mum and my son does this (his siblings stay at home)
We go and have a natter and catch up.